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 Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2023 6:37 pm
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 Three days had past like centuries, each one longer than the last. Delirium frankly had not eaten or slept, resting fitfully in X's bed. Three days. X had been gone for three days. Every night he searched hopefully in all of the familiar places and some of the unfamiliar ones, but nothing changed. He was still the same, alone and aching with it. There were so many things he hadn't been able to say to X. So many things he'd had left to do, confessions that felt like lead in his heart. Oh he was a fool, all right, but now he was a brokenhearted fool, terrified that this would be the last time. His friend and bandmate had vanished, almost as if off the face of Faetasia.
And here he was, curled up in X's bed... the exhaustion overtaking him until he finally slipped into an uneasy sleep. If he'd been awake, he might have heard X's footfalls or the turn of his doorknob, but he was well and truly asleep. He did not know that X had brought back flowers, chocolates, wine, and a note. He did know know that X was back at all. Drifting deeper and deeper into unconsciousness, the tired singer lost track of time and place. He could have been anywhere, and not in this bed they'd shared so much of their time in.
He wasn't anywhere, and undoubtedly his... friend... knew that. It must have been a day or maybe even two before he awoke again. When he did drag himself out of the bed, he could see the signs of it. Some piles had been shifted around, the scent of X hung in the air. Surprised, he stood fully upright, and then almost ran to the door. It was a good thing Liri was habitually cautious about opening doors, because even with very little force, the door struck the wine bottle with an audible 'c***k'.
That brought Liri up short, and he peeked out the door. There it was, a small offering of gifts, two dozen roses in alternating rainbow and black hues. Oh. Eyes widening, Liri stepped out the door, and reached down to reverently pick up the bouquet. Oh my. "Beautiful," he murmured, bringing the flowers up to his nose to sniff. Their aroma had wafted up to him from the floor, but he wanted to bury himself in it. When he did move the flowers again, he noticed a small envelope beside the place where they'd rested.
Still clutching the roses, he retrieved the envelope, and upon opening it up, stared in shock at the contents. It wasn't that he hadn't expected an apology, if X came back, but...
"Delirium,
I know there's no excuse for this. I wasn't ready to talk. I'm ready now.
Forgive me?
Love,
X
XOXOXO"
The note fell from his hand as he brought his hand up to his mouth in shock. Then, suddenly he felt foolish. Surely it didn't mean what he thought it meant... did it? Oh, he was a little fool, sometimes. It had to be wishful thinking. X probably wrote 'love' on every apology note. He probably put 'XO' at the end of every letter. That wasn't for him. It didn't mean anything... did it? He felt a flush creep up his neck to the roots of his hair, and shook himself. No way. It couldn't be that. But. Just in case, he picked the letter up again, along with the chocolates and the wine.
With a sudden need to hide in his room, he opened the door unceremoniously, using his tail to help him juggle his gifts. What greeted him when he walked in, however, was the sight of X asleep on his floor. "Oh X..." How very, very like X to decide he couldn't sleep in Liri's bed. And also, X was in his bedroom. Huh.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2023 10:57 pm
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X had crawled back to the Sin Bin after three nights away. He'd laid out his peace offerings, first at Pretty Boy's door, then at Liri's. It was only when he'd stepped into his own room that he realized Delirium had been there, asleep on his bed, and wrapped up in one of his shirts. He had hesitated a moment, considered crawling into bed and wrapping him up in his arms... but guilt and shame had gripped him.
There was no guarantee he would be wanted, no guarantee either wished to see him. He'd acted thoughtlessly, panicked, and let his personal issues take hold of common sense. He'd acted foolishly, but there was no turning back time. He couldn't undo what he'd broken, but he could try to pick up the pieces.
He hadn't intended for his worries to get found out. He hadn't intended for Pretty Boy to walk in on him packing, preparing for future heartache and woes. He hadn't intended to fight, hadn't intended for Liri to get involved, and most of all, he hadn't intended to hurt any of them. But he had. Leaving had brought him no more comfort, hunting had given him no pleasure, and while he sported more scars and scrapes and bruises than before, he was no more happier alone. He had just felt worse the longer he remained away.
Having found Delirium in his bed, X had a change of plans. Besides grabbing a change of fresh clothes, he let Liri sleep, and moved his peace offering in front of his own room. That way Liri might see it, might find it... as for X, he moved to the singer's room. Besides changing his clothes, he looked long and hard at Liri's bed, before deciding he'd given up that allowance with his uncouth behavior. Hadn't he abandoned Liri? Hadn't he made gross assumptions and frayed the edges of his friendship with Pretty Boy and Delirium both? Fights happened, but X prided himself on being drama free. Wasn't that why he tried so hard not to care?
... look at what it had caused him. Nothing but more hurt.
And yet... his care for his bandmates, for the club, for their friendship, for their love, had him acting a fool. Neither of them needed that in their lives, or him for that matter.. but regardless what he thought, it was up to them to make the choice, to say as much. If he'd learned anything, it was that he never knew the whole story, even if he thought he did.
So, X had curled up on the floor. He wrapped his tail around him, and settled in as comfortably as he could. Sleep didn't come easily, but the floor was more comfortable than some of the places he'd slept--and with the rising of the sun in the outside world, X finally fell into a deep, but anxious sleep. There was no going back now, whatever happened.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2023 11:13 pm
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Carefully, Liri set the note, bouquet, and chocolates down on the entryway side table, and closed the door behind him. "Oh baby," he said, shaking his head softly. He crossed over to the silly man sleeping on his floor, and wrapped his arms ever so tendering around him. "Darling. The floor?" he asked, as X stirred slightly in his sleep. "Wouldn't the bed be so much more comfortable?" It was not like X hadn't been in his bed before. In fact, X spent so much time in his bed and he in X's bed that there was almost no point in the wall between them.
Almost. Sometimes, to Liri's discomfort, X brought... friends... home. Well. That was not a matter for the moment. "Honey, let's get into the bed, okay?" he asked the sleepy man, trying to guide him toward the much more comfortable mattress. It was plush and beautifully made. He hadn't used it in three days, so it ought to be.
Leaning down, he bestowed little kisses on X's ears, trying to reassure him. he could tell that X had managed to work himself into some sort of an emotional pickle, and he wanted to show him that he supported him. No matter what. No matter how X needed. "Are you feeling better?" he asked softly, rubbing X's back gently as he managed to guide him toward the bed at last. He had rather forgotten that he was wearing X's shirt.
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2023 10:43 pm
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When arms slipped around him, X started groggily awake. He was surrounded by Delirium's scent, a mix of rose and his familiar perfumed soaps, and the sweet voice followed. Something about the bed, and being comfortable? Blinking a few times, he struggled to sit up, trying to decide if he should recoil or lean into it. The latter won. He was tired of being away, tired of running, tired of feeling lonely and miserable.
"Mph," he started, trying to find words, even as he pushed himself to his feet. He was, perhaps, a bit hung-over, and he was certainly not looking his best-- but he was here, and it seemed Delirium didn't care. "Didn't want to... mess it up," he explained. In reality, he didn't feel like he deserved to be in it, especially without knowing where he stood with the singer. When last he'd left, the other had been distraught, and his position in the band was questionable at best. <********, but he'd made a mess of things.
By the time he got to the bed, X was feeling more awake, or at least, more in tune with what he was doing, and why he was here. At present, he had no idea whether or not Pretty Boy would even want hm back, much less let him stay for long. Sure, he knew what the other had said before he took off--but days had passed, and it didn't take long for infection to take hold. The kisses were a good sign, and they warmed him more than any blanket or alcohol could... but he needed to clear the air before he could relax.
"Delirium," he spoke the others full name, reaching up so he could take his hands within his own, and look deep into the singer's eyes. He still didn't know whether or no PB would let him stay, if he was even still their bassist, but he ... He needed to at least know where he stood with Liri. And he needed to apologize, well and truly.
"Look I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have... fallen apart," he hurried spoke, wanting to get through his apology, even as he feared the outcome. Did it matter that so far, Liri had shown no signs of betrayal? No signs of rejection? No... Because X couldn't trust that would last. He was used to being turned out and reject at the drop of a hat. Stability, security, understanding--these weren't traits he was used to experiencing. He tried so hard to keep himself from caring, from connecting, of staying superficial that the moment he let others in, and the moment s**t hit the fan, he broke. Deep down, he was brittle, insecure, defensive, and afraid....and while his detachments had gotten him through some of the hardest parts of his unlife, now that he was in a group, a family...those traits were less than helpful.
Maybe it was time to let others in... provided it wasn't too late.
"I'm not okay," he confessed. Like that was a big surprise. "But that doesn't give me the right to... lash out, to assume the worst is true, to not bloody communicate rationally. I shouldn't let my mistrust of others blind me to what mattered, which is you, Pretty Boy, MJ, the crew, this place... and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
He held tight to the others hand, searching those dual-colored eyes, hoping that the other might understand, or at least, forgive him. "I ******** up. If I could go back, I would..." But he couldn't. Apologizing was all he could do. All he'd wanted was security, and at the time, packing a back just in case had been what he thought he needed. The fight that followed hadn't been the way he had wanted things to go.
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2023 11:46 pm
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"... X..." Oh, Liri's heart went out to his big, silly man. This silly, darling man who didn't seem to know where he stood with Delirium, let alone the rest of the band. "Honey, baby... sweetheart." He put his hands on either side of X's face, cupping his face and staring deeply into his eyes. "Babe. I love you for you, not who you want to be. I've known this about you forever. Remember? We lived together for years. There are things that you can't hide from me." Oblivious to the fact that he'd said the L word for the first time ever, Liri stroked X's cheek gently, trying to soothe him and reassure him.
His poor X. "If we could all go back we'd do so much differently. Like... for example, if I could go back, I never would've left that cargo crate. I was gone for three days, but when I came back, so were you. If I could go back... I would've stayed." And maybe, just maybe, X wouldn't have had quite the same level of an abandonment complex if he hadn't added to the pile. Not that he hadn't been hurt before, but it had to have been tough.
"You don't have to apologize. I understand. But if it will make you feel better, I do forgive you. Of course I do." However stunned by X's absence he'd been, he could not hold it against this sweet, gentle giant. "Baby, it's okay. It's really okay. I want you here. PB wants you here. MJ wants you here. I promise. And I... don't want to have to try to do this without you." It wasn't exactly a confession, but damn if it wasn't close. "And you weren't the only one who said things he didn't mean."
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 11:40 pm
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X gazed into Liri's eyes as the misfit cupped his face in his hands. He honestly didn't deserve the kindness that the was being bestowed upon him. Why was it so hard damn to accept? Maybe it was because he knew what he was, what he did, what he'd done. Maybe it was because nothing good seemed to stay... and if he let them in, if he allowed himself vulnerability, it meant a future filled with pain. They were all hurting, in their own way--life as a clanless was anything but secure. And yet.. perhaps, amid all the pain, there could be goodness. He was a monster, but maybe he could find safety with his chosen family. Maybe, even if he wound up hurt, the connections would be more than worth it.
For being so detached, Ecstasy certainly was a slave to his passions, fears, and insecurities. Maybe it was time to let that go and stop fighting the currant. Maybe it was time to let himself feel.
So it was, X said nothing for a long moment, just gazing down at the pale furred misfit before him. That word hung in the air like perfume, and X wondered if Delirium had heard himself say it. Everything up until then had been friendship, care, sex, and putting their passions into music and the band. But that word had a way of complicating things, and X feared it for the power that it still possessed. He had never known a heartbeat, but the word, the admission, made him imagine one. If his heart could skip a beat, it might well have done so.
Did he point it out?
Did he say it back?
So X said nothing, and instead, leaned forward to press his lips against Delirium's in an ardent kiss. He didn't know if the other would be receptive to it, but he wanted to drink in his lips, wanted to taste him, and wanted to feel the other's body close to his own. He wanted Delirium to know his lust, his passion, his desire... And he wanted him to know that he was loved.
He let one clawed hand run up Delirium's side, bringing up the wrinkled shirt he wore, while his other slipped about the misfit's trim waist. He pulled the lithe body closer to his own.
"Love me then," he encouraged, breaking off his kiss but not pulling away. His words were rough with passion, with desire, and need. "You already have my love. Have always had it." His words were quiet, almost a whisper against the others lips--a private confession, just for Delirium.
It was the first time he'd said it. But it was a feeling he'd come to know, to recognize, to hide...
No matter what happened with Pretty Boy, he'd let himself love Liri like it was the last time they'd touch. Tomorrow was never guaranteed, after all, and part of X still worried the singer would change his mind, or lose the feeling he confessed. For now though, he'd make amends and promises with his body, and let Liri know that X had no intention of leaving the singer alone again.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2023 11:54 pm
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There it was. A word that made the blood rush in Liri's ears, until it was the only thing he could here. "Really? Do you really love me... too?" There was a smile on his lips that had to look stupid. Felt stupid. He felt stupid. But oh, so elated. The kiss was still on his lips, and he honestly wanted another one. "I've always loved you," he confessed, feeling giddy as a kitten. He couldn't believe his luck. Really? X loved him? The happiness shone in his mismatched eyes, lightning them up from the inside.
"I do. I love you. I love you so, so much," he admitted, and dragged X down for a kiss. Something told him that these were the lips he'd be kissing for the rest of his life, if he was just lucky enough to keep X. Since the first time he'd ever kissed this man, he'd always wanted this. Even before then he'd known. Had wished for more. Now that he had it, he was never letting go.
*-*-*-*
In a drowsy, delirious heap, Liri lay tucked in X's arms, the borrowed shirt rumpled beyond hope of repair. He didn't care. It was truly the best night of his life. With his tail wrapped tightly around the bassist, Liri leaned into him, holding on gently yet securely. This man, right here, was the one. Of that he felt certain. Really, had there ever been any doubt? He was pretty sure PB had seen right through him. Maybe through them both. "So. Open faced oreos?" he said, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow.
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Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2023 11:30 pm
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X could still hardly believe his ears as he lounged with Delirium, keeping the singer held firmly in his arms. It wasn't like X to make connections, much less confess his feelings so openly... but for the past three days, he thought he'd lost everything. He was certain he'd lost Pretty Boy's friendship or care, his position in the band, and perhaps worst of all, Delirium. He'd abandoned them all, just as he'd been left so many years prior.
After their night of passion, X was more than reassured that least, Liri didn't hold his panic against him. It had shocked him that the singer had admitted he cared, so openly, so freely, and so sincerely... but he knew it to be true. Everything made sense now, and though he worried Delirium would come to regret saying those words, that he might take them back... for now, everything was beautiful.
Did he worry about his place in the band? Did he worry about what his talk with Pretty Boy would result in? .... yes, absolutely. But he didn't want to spoil the moment with his concerns, with his anxieties. Right now, he just wanted to relish the confessions they'd both given one another. It was frightening to be so vulnerable... but he could trust Liri. The singer had made it patently clear last night that he could.
"Open faced oreos," he confirmed, leaning pver to offer a trail of kisses against the pale singers jawline.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2023 2:05 am
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Twined all around X, Liri purred softly, snuggling up under his chin. "Mmm... those are my favorite kind," he confessed, and pulled X down into a kiss. He could scarcely believe his luck. It was... shocking. Exciting. "I love you," he said, stroking X's cheek tenderly.. He couldn't stop himself. He was just that happy, just that in love. If X had asked him to be his mate, he would have accepted him then and there. He hadn't, of course, but it was an illustration of how he was feeling.
"I'm so glad you came home." He pressed his forehead against X's, taking comfort in the bassist's distinctive scent. X had always used a cologne that he liked. Or maybe he liked the cologne because it was X's preferred scent. He wasn't sure which had come first, but whatever order, it brought him back. In the best way.
After what they had shared, he felt reassured. He'd been afraid that X didn't want him, didn't want to stick around. Suddenly, he was right where he wanted to be and he couldn't be happier. There truly were not words to express the joy of this experience. Going from heartbreak to cloud nine was the most amazing experience. It really was. He couldn't stop himself from beaming in happiness.
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Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2023 10:42 pm
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X was glad to be back. He was sore, he was tired, his nerves were shot, and he probably needed a good soak in a bath but he was here. Liri's warm reception had him feeling as if he were floating on cloud nine... but the euphoria was only slightly dampened by the uncertainty of what would happen with Pretty Boy. He had made a mess of things, had made plenty of assumptions, and now needed to try to square things away...
Would the colorful guitarist forgive him for his knee-jerk reaction to past trauma? Maybe. Maybe not. And what would happen if Pretty Boy tossed his a** back out on the street? No matter what the vampire had said, three days was a long time to stew, and for X, he was easily disposable. Fights happen, but he'd practically had a melt-down. He wasn't usually so high-maintenance.
Liri's words, and touch, was a good distraction from his shaky future. No matter what, he had Delirium, and the colorful singer was here... here in his arms, telling him such sweet words. Ecstasy ate up the affirmations greedily, his undead heart parched and desperate for the others love. How would their relationship change now that these words were out there? X hoped Liri wouldn't come to regret saying them... but would anyone really be shocked? X was a slut but he spent an inordinate amount of time in the singers bed.
Liri had always been sweet, comfortable, and safe. X would do his best not to ******** up what he had... though that put a new pressure on him, a new insecurity he hadn't had to think of before. Well. He'd ... ponder that later. He was too focused on his thoughts and that wasn't where he wanted to be. He wanted to be focused on the beauty before him.
"I hadn't wanted to leave," he assured softly, reaching up so he could trace his clawtips gently against the others cheek. He met his smile with one all his own, just for the pale misfit before him. "But I'm back, and so long as I sort this all out with Pret, I... I don't want to ever leave again." He had finally found a place to belong, and being away for those three nights had been nothing short of hell.
Mentally, physically, emotionally...
Now, more than ever, he wanted back in, so he could well and truly thrive. "I missed this... I missed you."
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2023 4:08 pm
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The smile on Liri's lips was well and truly stuck. He couldn't seem to stop smiling, even though his cheeks ached just a little bit. "I'm so glad you're back." He leaned in against X blissfully. "I don't want you to leave. Ever. If things with PB don't go well, I have... well, I have somewhere to stay." For all that it was a little farm out in the middle of nowhere, it was secure, and they could make it nice, if they ever had to. He'd wanted that security. He'd earned it with his songwriting fees, and he'd hoped to one day find X again and do the whole thing he'd always planned.
Running his fingers through X's hair, he gazed up at him. "I missed this, so much. I missed you. I'm glad you're here. I love you." He'd known that for such a long time, and it made everything so much better to know that X loved him as well. "Love you," he repeated, a silly, happy smile on his lips. What a wonderful, wonderful world it was. He could hardly believe his luck. There were still so many things left that he wanted to say, and he felt so fortunate that now he'd have the chance to say it.
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Posted: Wed Mar 01, 2023 1:41 am
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X still couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd wondered what Liri had thought of him after he'd left, wondered if he'd lost him due to his insecurities and foolishness. He'd tried so hard to remain in control, to pretend nobody mattered, and yet, it was very clear that he didn't just care about his new found family, but he loved them so very dearly. X had devoted himself, not just to Pretty Boy and Delirium, but the band, the club, and their crew.
He had told himself to keep everyone out, to protect his undead heart; he didn't need connections, he didn't need to care, and yet... The thought of losing Delirium, Pretty Boy, MJ, his position in the band, his friendship with crew-- it hurt more than any past abandonment or scars. He'd rather be turned on by them then abandon them himself. He doubted he'd ever be truly an open book... but he could at least let himself to care.
X could be honest with himsefl, and with others... assuming Pretty Boy didn't cast him out. The uncertainty of his future still weight him down. He'd need to seek Pretty Boy out sooner than later, so he knew what to expect... but it wasn't a conversation he was eager to start. There would be no going back. It was clear Liri had forgiven him, but would the guitarist be so understanding? ....
"I wouldn't let you give this up," he objected, leaning forward to offer a few gentle kisses against the others smiling lips. "But I wouldn't give you up, either." Even if he was out, they'd figure out a way to make it work. X couldn't fathom picking himself over such a sweet gig... Security, money, fame, stardom... He didn't view himself equal. But that wouldn't mean they couldn't be together. "Guess we'll see what he wants to do."
...even if he was cast out, he'd still have Liri.
"Let me keep you, please," he half-begged, a secret just for Delirium's ears. He tightened his grip on the delicate misfit, letting his hands possessively caress the other. "I'm tired of pretending we're just friends." Friends with benefits, but friends all the same. He was tired of the part-time lover routine, tired of fulfilling his nights with meaningless encounters, trying to find validation in a strangers arms. He'd much rather be wrapped up with Liri, just as they were.
He'd loved him for far too long, and was ready to live his life just a bit more honestly. "Love you," he confirmed, still getting used to speaking such words aloud. "Love you. All of you. For always."
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Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2023 10:43 pm
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Liri's cheeks hurt from smiling, but he didn't care. No, he didn't care at all. All he wanted to do was smile up at this charming, wonderful man who held his heart in his hands. "Don't. Don't let me. I don't want to give up on us, ever." Leaning into X's kisses, he cupped the bassist's face in his hands, his expression utterly adoring. "We will... but I think he'll forgive you, X." Just as Liri had. Ultimately, they were a family. The Sin Bin was that family's home, as was this little apartment. It might be small, but it was home, and that meant everything.
"X... you didn't have to ask. I'm already yours." Ah, but how X knew to charm him. "I've always loved you, X. So, I'm yours. However you want me." Then X thrilled him with his confession, and he just could not stop beaming. This was probably the most wonderful moment of his life. He could hardly believe his luck! Together at last. If Liri had his way, they'd be together for always, just as his lover had said. "Love you, too. Forever."
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 10:16 pm
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The bass player hoped that everything came to pass as Delirium hoped. Things had gone completely haywire... and all because of baggage X had suppressed. He'd gotten so worked up about the presence of some Clanned vamp that he'd almost lost everything he'd loved. Hell, he still was worried that he'd be out of a job and a place to live...but one thing he seemed to still have is Liri.
"I hope you're right," he murmured, heaving a small, worried sight as he buried himself against the singer. He nuzzled his neck and shoulder, before burying his head against his neck, taking in the others scent, the feel of his pale skin against his own. He feel a fool not knowing the others feelings... but then, no one in the band was particularly demonstrative or open. It wasn't a typical thing to do, especially as a vampire...
But oh, how he needed that love, that desire Like the bloom that gripped the desert after a monsoon, so it was, X was desperate for acceptance. "All the time we missed," he murmured, turning his nuzzle into a tender kisses. "But we've got nothing but time now." He wasn't letting Liri go if he could help it. Fans be damned, he wasn't going to hide his relationship, or his feelings. It had taken them far too long to get together for him to want to hide what he felt for him.
This was how they should have been, from the first.
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2023 1:41 pm
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It was quite impossible not to feel joyous, with X snuggled against him. He wrapped the adorable man in a tender embrace, stroking his cheek ever so gently. "I know I'm right. PB will understand." Of that he was convinced. Although the guitarist kept a lot to himself, he believed that their friend and bandmate would forgive X for the squabble they'd had. He certainly hoped it, if nothing else.
Somehow, X caught him off guard with that kiss, however. He visibly melted, leaning into the kiss with abandon. "Mm. We did miss time, yes... but I'm all yours, baby." He'd say it over and over until X believed it. Hopefully X would grow to trust in him. "You're right. And I intend to spend that time making sure you believe every word I said." He'd spent most of his life loving this vampire man, and felt ever so fortunate that his love was returned.
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