1506: Octavius

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "This feeling is cathartic." | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"I am not inclined to fully trust a person, who was also flirting with me, that they would help me with my sexual harassment issue." Though he is teasing, his face looks a little serious as he watches Saeyong's expression change here and there. It's only slight, but it becomes more obvious when the man pulled away from his touch. He's not sure if something showed on his face, but Masumi took that as a sigh to stroke his hair again. His gaze leaves Saeyong to look up at Sumi's. Judging by his look, he probably senses something is off as well. He's not sure if it is the man just getting uncomfortable with is brother's focusing on him so much, but he decides not to get into his space again unless he seems okay with it.

Sitting up, Avi stretches before he's standing up from the couch as Masumi accepts the email with a smile and puts it away in his pocket so he doesn't lose it. "I've been a terrible host. I'll go prepare some drinks and snacks for us." Standing, Masumi holds out his phone to Saeyong to take if he wants. "Please feel free to look some more. I will go help him get refreshments." Avi sighs as he puts his hands on his hips to protest as Masumi faces him again regardless of whether or not Saeyong took his phone. "You're a guest Sumi. I can get it myself." Masumi waves him away, and he doesn't protest further because he knows there isn't a point. With a sigh, he offers his arm to the man with a sincere smile. "Fine, then you have to make me coffee while you tell me about how things are going with Carter." The man takes his arm, his face lighting up hopefully. "Really? You don't mind it? You'll give him a chance?" He nods as he starts walking with the man to leave the room. "I have no hard feelings with him anymore. He treats you well and you seem happy. That is what I want for you."

When the two leave, Castielle sighs and stretches out before getting up to work his limbs. "I am going to get some fresh air and see that bird Avi mentioned." Marcellus nods and gives him a salute before the room gets quiet again and he starts feeling a little awkward. "Um...I haven't had the chance to meet you firsthand officially, but I am the youngest brother Marcellus. Avi talked about you on the phone before, but I was so shocked to see that you were a real person. To be honest, I was a little worried he was lying just to make us feel better so we didn't come bother him. Sorry I thought you weren't real." He gives an awkward chuckle as he rubs his head. "If you ever want to hear more stories about Avi, I have some too. He's taught me a lot, he was kind of like a father figure for Cas and I growing up."


In the kitchen, Masumi sits at the counter with a smile as Avi works around the kitchen to see what he can make for everyone to snack on. "Do you like him?" Avi plays dumb as he comments on how he's sad he doesn't have any cheese, because they could have had some crackers with the salami he has. However, after the man continues staring at him, he returns the stare. "I am pretty sure I asked to hear about Carter, not talk about me." The man gives him a look that says he's not convinced in the least bit that Avi is remotely interested in his relationship. "I know you want to be supportive, but I am not so cruel as to go into detail about him. I think its okay to just say we are doing great and that he seems to be pulling through his amnesia well. I didn't follow you to talk about Carter. I followed you to talk about the man in your living room." He shuts the fridge a little too roughly, flinching at himself before looking at Masumi to make sure he didn't trigger anything for him. But Masumi seems to be calm, quietly supporting him with a small smile. "There is nothing to talk about. You know about as much as I do when it comes to him. We are friends. That is it. He dates, but I am not one of those people he dates. Does that clear things up for you?" Masumi gets up from the bar, moving to check on the brewing coffee before he's lifting his hand to rest it on the back of Avi's neck.

Avi sighs reflectively, relaxing under the brush against his tense muscles before he's being pulled down for a hug. "Its okay for you to be selfish and just admit things you know? You can just say you like someone else. You don't have to take my feelings into consideration anymore, I am in a good place now." His arms wrap around him as he hides his face into his shoulder while he leans back against the counter with Masumi against him. "I told you...it's not like that. He doesn't...he makes jokes but I don't think he actually sees me that way. Sees it getting even remotely serious. And I...I don't even know what I want anymore. I like having him around. I feel good when I am around him. I'm scared Sumi. I don't know a life where you aren't the person I hold, but I want to learn. You were my forever, but you're not mine anymore, and I've become okay with that. But I've spent so long stuck on that one fact, that I don't even know how to live in a space where I am just an Avi with no Sumi."

The man pulls away to look at him, hands holding his face as Avi looks away from him. He can't look in his eyes, the ones that always see right through him. Look into his soul and break his heart with how much care and love that gets put into them. How they water with tears as he tears himself open for the things that Avi was forced to do. "You deserve a shot at a normal life Avi, please don't talk yourself out of going for it. It already kills me to know that you are still suffering because you were trying your hardest to protect me by yourself. We can't keep holding in this guilt and grief." It makes him think about how he's being stuck on his father all this time. How he felt like he lost his father a long time ago and has only now just gotten the chance to grieve him but feels that he can't because of the circumstances. He wipes away the man's tears tenderly, realizing why Masumi is crying for him after all this time. Even after how much he's done to hurt them. He's forgotten how much guilt Masumi has also held in all this as the person who was used against Avi at any possible moment. How he's blamed himself for Avi's decent into madness. "You still ugly cry you know? Like a child." It gets a laugh and a weak hit to the chest before they are both chuckling away the heaviness in the room. He much prefers to see the man laughing than crying because of him. "I am living. I don't want to die anymore, I want to appreciate the life I was granted. Thank you, for being my first love and my best friend. I couldn't have asked for a better person in my life to ground me and tell me I am an idiot with such brutality." They are chuckling again before Avi presses a kiss to his forehead and tells him to freshen up while he gathers snacks. Masumi takes that time to go out into the living room again, watching as Marcellus tenses and stand up to ask if he's okay. "Don't worry, we weren't fighting. We were just talking and it made me so happy that I started getting emotional. He looks so much more at ease, and the relief is a little overwhelming." He looks to Saeyong, giving a friendly smile. "Could you keep him company for the time being. I might need to borrow Marcellus to let me borrow his contact solution. My eyes kind of hurt so I want to go back to my glasses."


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Feels like guilt || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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"It is in my nature to flirt, not taking away from your own charms, but I see now the lack of trust in that situation." he'd say, settling down as he took a moment to consider his actions that day and add them to his mental list of what he shouldn't be doing when he wants to provide his assistance in a matter. He did catch that his his attempt to be discreet about pulling away might have been read for what it was. Why did he do that? He was quite fond of Octavius, and touching him wasn't a problem, him returning the touch wasn't either. But today, he might have felt a little displeased when the man was warming up to his old friend. Why did it matter though? it wasn't like Sae kept his hands off of other individuals even if he didn't do it before him.

Distracted quickly from his thoughts, he watches Octavius stand up and feels a pit form inside him. Was he leaving because of him? If they were alone, he would have felt much freer to ask him but these new people around him somehow kept him grounded. "I have snacks that should be enough for everyone." he'd say, attempting to keep him from leaving, but doesn't push it hard enough as he takes the phone from his hand and nods. "I'll be mindful of where I lurk." he says, taking a moment to flip through some more photos of him and exhales, finding it futile to distract himself when this uneasy feeling was overwhelming him.

Setting the phone aside for a moment, he would pick up his bag and start placing the things he brought over on the coffee table so the others could take it too. He'd look up for a moment when Castielle stepped out, only to look back at the other when he spoke, watching him intently as he gauged his intentions. It might have not come off very friendly, but that was far from his intention. He'd soon tug a smile and nod, "Pleased to meet you Marcellus, Octavius always talks fondly of you and your brother. He truly loves you two and has missed you dearly." he'd say politely, "But you shouldn't feel obliged to talk to me. As much as I would love to hear more, I don't intend to force it on you." he'd add, unsure of how this would come off but he was attempting to help him feel less awkward about this brief interaction. "Also, if you are weary about me, you may ask me anything and I shall try to be honest so long as it isn't upsetting for me." he'd add, thinking maybe it was not knowing him that might have sparked this uneasiness.

"I've heard you all call him Avi, does he like it?" he'd ask, opening a bag of shrimp crackers that he brought and held it out to the man, "They are the less pungent kind." he'd say as he took a bite. Saeyong's gaze shifted to the other, a little confused when he saw him looking like he had cried, his gaze fixed on him for maybe too long as he tried to see if he was lying or telling the truth. "I could imagine." he'd say simply, accepting his explanation as he pulled himself to his feet and took a hand full of the crackers, excusing himself as he went to the kitchen. "Just so you know, I have never been the best when it comes to dealing with a crying person." he'd announce as he got closer to the kitchen, alerting the other that it was him and not anyone else if he was expecting to see them. "Do you like seafood?" he'd ask as he moved closer and held out the few that were left of the handful he grabbed earlier.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "Is he put off by me somehow now?" | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




Marcellus stays quiet for a moment, letting the man get out his words without interrupting. It was probably a lot like Avi's own behavior where he draws into himself to think on what he wants to say next. "The thing that Cas doesn't get about Avi, is that if you are someone he deems malicious, he won't waste his time on you." He stands to take a snack with a word of thanks before he's sitting back down to try it. After nodding like he confirmed that it was indeed delicious, he continues on his thought. "While you two didn't have a great first impression of each other, if Avi ever thought you were someone who had bad intentions with him, he wouldn't bother humoring you, or introducing you to us. You should give yourself a little more credit on where he stands with you." He smiles as gives a shrug about the name. "Sumi-nii was the first to call him that. We kind of just picked it up. Apparently when Sumi was younger, Octavius was too hard to say, so he just called him Avi."

When Masumi enters and the three part, Marcellus leads him to the room. In the kitchen, Avi is pouring a lemonade punch mix into glasses with ice. Though he tenses when the man approaches, he doesn't startle and instead politely rejects the snack as he moves away to set cups onto a tray. "I do, but I am good for now, thanks." As he starts loading the tray with drinks, he considers the conversation him and Masumi had. "Sumi gets emotional when we have serious conversations. We weren't arguing or anything. Just being transparent with one another on where we stand so there isn't any awkwardness while they are here." Will it stop them from touching familiarly while he's here? Probably not. Avi's not going to waste the opportunity he never got to be close to his brothers and his friend. He will roughhouse with the brothers, lie down with them and watch movies with some snacks. Everything they were robbed of because of his father, or because of his power, they will do while they are here. He wants them to leave knowing that he is living his life, not drawing into himself again. "Finally feeling like I could tell him how I feel about all this without guilt...it was nice. Maybe one day, Carter and I can talk without awkwardness too, and I can thank him for making Sumi feel free again. Not hating him anymore feels good."

He lifts the tray and approaches Saeyong, making sure to keep some distance still as he offers a small smile. Like he is trying to assure him that he's okay, and Masumi's okay. That the situation isn't going to be tense until it blows up in all their faces. For once, when he says they are fine, and good, he means it. "And don't worry. Message received, I'll do better to mind your space today. Thanks for staying even though you aren't comfortable, and you don't have to stay if you don't want to. I can go through my mother's stuff alone or with Sumi later. Can you get the pitcher for me?" He nods in the direction of the pitcher on the counter before he's walking to head back out to the living room again. While things with his brothers and Masumi are all good, he's still a little confused and a little bit agitated about the sudden coldness from Saeyong. The man never seemed to mind his touch before, yet he shied away from it completely like it offended him.


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling A little bit of anger || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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Saeyong would look back at the man as he spoke, taking a few silent munches of his snacks. "Well, you're not wrong about that. But I could have been pretty persistent." he'd say, his tone indicating he was trying to be playful than serious at the moment, smiling a little. Despite him playing off the matter, it did make him ponder over their relationship for a bit. As much as he understood him and appreciated the assurance, he wasn't very pleased with himself for feeling unpleasant with him touching Masumi that affectionately. For now, that thought could wait. "Avi...it has a nice ring to it." he said quietly and nodded to himself as he took some more snacks.

"Are you on a diet to maintain that build?" he'd ask, popping another into his mouth, "Because speaking from experience, diets are very restricting and just pointless." he said, trying to convince him to take one from him but wouldn't force him to. "I didn't intend to assume you were. But, I'm glad you had a talk with him. I hope it was liberating in some way." he said truthfully. He was happy for him, at least what he assumed was happiness, he just didn't know why there was a sense of what could be seen as jealousy that stemmed from his own feelings. But he wasn't capable of realizing that just yet, he was going to take a moment to figure it out. In the mean time, he was going to challenge himself to stick around and figure it out. "Is Carter his lover?" he asked curiously, dusting his hands from the crumbs it collected, wiping his face next.

Goosebumps trailed along his skin when he realized he was keeping his distance, a heat formed in his being that he could associate to negativity. His smile didn't seem to null it, and his words only made it worse. He didn't waste time and he grabbed the tea-towel from the counter and flung it at the man, managing to hit the back of his head. "Don't go into your head like that." he said firmly, huffing and looking red in the face again, unsure why, but it drove him mad to think he'd assume he didn't want him around. The warmth in his body was also, while not very alarming since he could identify his anger sometimes but he couldn't fully understand why he reacted the way he did. "I'm not leaving." he'd add and pick up the pitcher, whether it was about the very moment or it referred to a long term idea of him staying. He was going to sport the pouting child look the whole time and way he'd carry the pitcher for him and set it down on the table.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "What the...what did I do?!" | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"A diet? No, I just don't want to mix the juice with a fishy taste." He doesn't want to get closer than he has to. It's not the first time he's had to mind himself not to get to close to someone, and he doubts it will be the last. "Yes. He was the catalyst which made Masumi end our relationship officially, eventually leading to my freedom." He sighs as he sets the last glass down, trying to not think about how when they first met, he had been incredibly possessive over Masumi, even after he had been released from Rehan. Part of him was still stuck in that mentality, and Masumi did his best to ease him out of it. Carter has only ever seen Avi's nasty parts, so he doesn't have hope that they would get along eventually. "He only knows the me under my father's control, so I am not expecting us to become friends or anything. Part of me still hates him a little bit since I felt that he was using Masumi to hide. He got himself involved with nasty people, and I was worried Masumi would get dragged into it. He had just escaped my father and I, I didn't want him to fall into the arms of someone who would just do the same." Luckily, the man didn't seem to stick with the people he was involved with, and has been working with Masumi to heal the things that have given them trauma over the years.

The towel throws him off guard, where he just stares in surprise at Saeyong as the man passes him by with the pitcher. The man looks stormy, and he's now confused even more because he doesn't know what he's done wrong this time. All he's done is try to include him on things, and then make sure that he knows Avi isn't forcing him out of his comfort zone. After he recovers from his initial shock, he follows after. After setting down the drinks, he faces Saeyong with a frown. Luckily everyone else is off doing their own thing for the time being, so it gives him a chance to scowl at the man. "Are you going to tell me what the hell that was about? What could I have possibly done to anger you to the point of chucking something at me?"


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling A little bit of anger, toning down || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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The man would simply give a nonverbal response as he finished the bunch he had in his hand, shrugging in the process. But, he did notice that he kept his distance from him, which added to the fire that would burn later on. He ignored it for now as he'd listen to the other, nodding as he'd explain. "What do you mean freedom?" he'd ask curiously, "I didn't take your relationship to be that bad that it would be considered that way." he'd add to reason his curiosity. "I can see the problem." he'd start off the more he'd explain, looking over as he thought about it before he'd respond. "Maybe he has changed for the better? People make bad choices out of desperation." he'd add, wondering if that was a good way to put it, healing would take a bit but there would be some place to start from.

Saeyong looked back at him with a frown of his own, his gaze shifted only for a moment as he might have felt silly for throwing the tea-towel at him, but overall he was still pretty moody. "You just assume the worse sometimes." he'd start off, his tone relaxed despite the momentary outburst he had and the frown on his face. "You just started distancing yourself from me and then you suggest I go home, I wonder. Is it because you don't need me anymore?" he'd ask, taking a deep breath as he looked away and pursed his lips. "Interacting with more people at once might not be the best for me yes, but I'm working through it." he'd say, tracking back to what Avi told him earlier, "And I might have reacted out of the ordinary but I was processing thoughts that weren't normal for me. That doesn't mean I want nothing to do with you." he'd add. While he wasn't the best at expressing himself or...a lot of things for that matter, he was willing to speak and solve a matter when needed, even when he didn't understand the problem himself. Even though he could be brutally honest sometimes, right now, he figured talking about the odd unpleasantness from Avi's closeness to Masumi that triggered it all, wasn't really the best way to address it.

"Do you want me to leave?" he'd ask, once the steam had been expelled at least a little bit.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "Why is he so angry with me? What did I do?" | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"Oh, no, not freedom from Sumi. Freedom from my father. Shortly after our end, I stumbled upon Utsuru's library and he released me from my father's control." While he may have hated Masumi for a point in time because of the manipulation, he's never seen the man to be someone shackling him. More like the person grounding him when he was losing his mind. But also the one thing that could have caused him to really and truly snap. "I hope so. I'd hate to have to kill him should he get Masumi involved." It would be another person's blood on his hands, but at least this one, he wouldn't feel so bad about. If it is for his friend or his brother's safety, he would weaponize himself any day. "I want their peace to last. They deserve it."

He huffs indignantly, his face reading that he thinks Saeyong is being absolutely ridiculous. "Oh, I am sorry that my trauma which ruined every positive expectation I could ever have about anything is inconvenient for you. I have reasons for never assuming anything good." He's had so many times where he's tried to hold out hope, just for reality to slap him in the face. Literally sometimes too. "Are you joking? Because I distinctly recall YOU were the one who moved away from my touch. You pulled away, I was just trying to go along with what you wanted. But I hadn't realized that you are impossible to understand!" He sighs after he realizes his voice raised just a bit, prompting Masumi and Marcellus to return to the living room. "Avi-nii?" He gives the two a wave to dismiss their concern before he's looking at Saeyong again. "I apologize for raising my voice. No, I don't want you to leave. But I am not forcing you to stay, nor am I playing games with you today, Saeyong. I can be pretty blind if you don't speak clearly. Reading between the lines isn't a strong suit of mine. So if you have something you want to say, then say it. Don't just push it all on me and expect me to just know."

Castielle takes this time to return, looking at the awkwardness stifling the room. "I leave for what, 10 minutes and everyone is already fighting? Why does it look like Sumi was crying? Why is Avi yelling?" Masumi steps forward to put a hand on Avi's arm to give him pats. "No one is fighting. Avi and I were having a heart-to-heart and I just became emotional. Um, Avi and Saeyong were having a discussion though? Not sure what was going on there. Is everything aright?" He looks between the two as Avi offers him a smile to placate him. "Yes, we're fine. I think we just had some miscommunication and I got a little overwhelmed. I apologize for worrying you." The librarian smiles in turn before looking at everyone around the room. "Why don't we watch something then? That might help everyone relax? We can start a movie and enjoy the snacks Saeyong brought?"


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Uneasy, guilty again? || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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"That makes more sense." he says and nods. He could see how much of a negative influence the man was in his life. Of course it should be obvious with how he manipulated him but Saeyong was slow, so the intensity of the matter only started to register the longer he spent time with the man and heard his side of the story. He started to connect the dots here, how Masumi and his gentle nature might have been the support he needed at that time - maybe even now, which made him feel unpleasant about his feelings towards him. Besides, it only triggered something when Masumi touched him. "I don't suppose he would live with himself if he did hurt him, if he claims to love him. Love makes you crazy, so I've heard." he'd say and exhale, "You deserve peace too." he'd say, looking up at him.

Saeyong's brows knit together in displeasure from the usual empty or emotionlessness he portrayed, finding it hard to find reason in his own words now. "I didn't undermine your history when I said so." he'd state, pursing his lips quickly as he tried to hush himself and hear the other out, taking a deep breath to suppress the feelings that bubbled in his chest. "I simply...don't want you to think I have resorted to something like that." he'd add in a more hushed tone. He looked back at him and parted his lips to speak, but something was different. He might have heard those words before, even from him sometimes. This time, they stung more than before. "I couldn't help it." he stated calmly, quickly shifting his gaze to notice the two enter and figured it wasn't best to state why given his realization of how important the man was to him. He moved his hand over the back of his own and rubbed it a little. "I wasn't playing a game." he mumbled quickly in his defense, "I simply don't understand why I feel certain ways and react on impulse. I don't realize I'm hurting you or anyone until its too late. But I'm trying." he said, exhaling quietly as he felt uneasy expressing himself this openly around strangers. He was used to being vulnerable to Octavius by now, but they were other people, his people and this just felt uncomfortable now. "I apologize if I am difficult, it wasn't my intention to cause unease." he'd say, bowing to the other two.

Noticing Castielle return made his breathing a little tense. It already was there, but with things looking like they were starting to be blown out of proportion - at least from how simple he viewed the matter to be. "I will need a smoke break," he said openly and calmly, holding a smile as he showed no intention to seem like it was someone's fault for him to need a moment away. "It's been a moment and I get uneasy if I don't." he'd say before quickly "I wont take long but you are welcome to choose a movie, I'm not picky. Avi-darling can testify." he'd say with a little wink, moving for his bag and reaching for the pack and lighter.

Excusing himself, he bowed to the men and moved to the door. He placed the stick between his lips but didn't light it until he exited the house and was at a decent distance so the smoke didn't bother anyone. He was contemplating how he'd explain to Octavius why he pulled away from his touch, mostly to put himself at ease, even tried typing it on his phone to text him but he only stopped half way. How was he to explain why the touch bothered him? Why couldn't he just say it? Seriously, he couldn't ruin the one day he saw him smiling and enjoying himself.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "Why is he so angry with me? What did I do?" | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"I don't deserve anything. I have yet to earn that right, but I am trying." Does he deserve suffering? Probably. He did murder people, but it isn't like he isn't trying to repent for his past misdeeds. Would his victims even forgive him if they knew he was under someone else's control? Or would they just say that the apple who comes from the tree is no different? He can't blame them. While some of them were bad people, corrupt politicians, a lot of them were just people who Rehan didn't like the look of. Or they spoke in a manner which he didn't like. They had an opinion which didn't meet his. Whatever his reasons, a lot of those people didn't deserve death.

"Then what exactly are you expecting to happen when you throw that in my face? How am I supposed to feel?" He doesn't shoot back after that, chooses to instead look at the ground as he clenches his jaw in frustration. He knows when he's angry and confused, he can be hurtful, and he doesn't want to make things worse. That would just scare the guy off, probably permanently. It isn't like he WANTS to upset him. He's still not sure what exactly he did to make the man angry.

When Saeyong excuses himself, Castielle ushers Avi and Masumi to the couch so he can sit down with them. Marcellus follows and the four squeeze onto the couch together. "I won't lie to you Avi, you might be biting off more than you can chew here. He might not be worth your time." Sumi sighs and gives a glare at Castielle through his glasses and his hand reaches for Avi's. "You never approve of anyone Cas, your standards are too high. That is why you're still single. Avi, don't listen to him. Saeyong doesn't seem like he has bad intentions. He might just be overwhelmed, this would be a lot for anyone to take in. We're so close knit that it can be chaotic for other people." He lifts Masumi's hand to kiss it, before he's looking at him and touching his glasses. "Are these new?' They see it for what it is, Avi diverting attention away from a conversation he doesn't want to have. So Masumi instead nods and complies with the man's silent plea. "They are, do they look okay?" He nods and opens his mouth to answer, but before he can, Marcellus is taking his hand and pulling him away. He lets the man pull him along, even when he could easily pull his hands away if he wanted to. He tries to ask what's up, but the man doesn't speak until he's pushing Avi outside. "I watched as an outside party as your relationship with Masumi crumbled away and left you defeated. You're doing it again. Where you bury and you hide and you let it rot because you don't think you can say what you're feeling. You guys can come inside when you figure out your crap. You protected me, now I'm returning the favor. Figure it out!" He stands there stunned, staring at the door which gets firmly shut before he hears a lock click. Marcellus has never spoken up like that before. He's always been more shy and timid with Avi as opposed to how he is with Cas.

It takes him a minute to really let it sink in before he's putting his hands into his pockets for his keys. He always keeps them in his pockets, but instead of disobeying and going back inside, he sighs and turns around to walk towards the smell of smoke. "I have been ousted until you and I talk properly. Do you want to tell me what exactly happened back there? What I did you make you angry?"


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Uneasy || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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Saeyong heard him and exhaled deeply. He didn't think that about himself, guilt and remorse were feelings he rarely pondered upon so he was far from where the man saw himself. "Soon.", he said quietly, almost like assuring himself and him. Some day, maybe he'd break the curse he had placed upon himself and move from it and be as free as he saw him today.

"I wasn't thinking, I don't do often." he states calmly as he registers that it wasn't best to act on impulse when he was mad. "I have now learned actions on impulse aren't good when angry." he'd add and exhale, looking up to catch the change in his demeanor, seeing he was upset too. Now that he thought of it, who wouldn't be at an outburst like his? It wasn't the time to speak up though, he wasn't here to tell the man to look at him and forget his past, he wasn't even sure himself if he deserved a man as pure as him even if he did enjoy his company. He needed a moment though, a smoke break was a good excuse and he took it, slipping out before anyone could stop him.

The man stood silently in his thoughts, puffing out smoke away from the house, collecting the ashes on his palm and carefully placing the tip against his skin, pulling away before it could leave a visible burn mark. He didn't like being in his thoughts, even if these needed to be pondered on. He was trying to distract himself with the pain until he heard the door open and briefly even caught some of the conversation. He took another puff and let the smoke roll out, tapping off the ash by the time Avi comes over to him and puts the cigarette off on his palm so he didn't bother him with the smoke. "I'm sorry." he starts off with, taking a deep breath and coughs for a moment as he inhaled some of the remnants of the smoke. "I didn't want to speak around your family about the matter and I overreacted." he added, quickly turning to dump the trash in his hand into the bin outside and dust his hands. He was probably buying time before he'd have to admit what he did. It felt new, feeling like this.

"I...didn't like it when you got too comfortable with your friend." he said finally, looking up at him as his hand moved to his other one, his thumb nail scratching at his skin. "So, I moved away from your touch. But, I didn't intend to be a long term distance." he'd add, looking away from as he started to think of the many possible ways things would lead to him being shut out. "Seeing you distance yourself from me like that, it didn't sit well with me. I resorted to the first thing that came to my mind instead of talking it out with you. Because I know he holds value to you." he'd add and finally fain some courage to look back at him, his nail now leaving a reddened mark on his skin. "He's a nice person, I do acknowledge, so I wouldn't know why I found displeasure in your comfort." he'd say, nodding firmly as he managed to say his peace or explain himself. This required another stick which he quickly started reaching for.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "It bothers me that he does that to himself…" | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"I am sorry as well. I could have handled it better so you didn't have to worry about what you said around them." He notices the burn marks before Saeyong dusts his hands off, his jaw clenching so he doesn't comment on it. He gets why Saeyong does it, the man already explained. Yet now he's even more confused because Saeyong clearly displayed anger. It was probably the first time he had ever seen the man express anything real without immediately jumping back to his normal nature as if it never happened. More than feeling something, it looks like it's a coping mechanism for him.

Saeyong continues explaining and he ends up more confused by his admission. Why would he be uncomfortable with Masumi and Avi being close? Is he worried Masumi might be trying something? "Masumi? He doesn't have any bad intentions. When we say childhood friends, I mean I was there the day of his birth. I learned to change his diapers, I saw all of his best and worst parts. We were more than lovers at some point. We always felt like we were soulmates. Not necessarily the romantic kind, as Masumi and I weren't a couple until our teens. We just felt connected, so touching and consoling one another came easily to us. The same was done for Cas and Marcellus. We looked after them and raised them together because neither parent cared enough. We are all close because we look after each other. Even when I turned against them, they held onto who I was and fought for me. We're not being romantic or flirting when we do that. It's because it is comforting. Masumi loves me, and I love him, but we are not in love. There is a difference to us. We have history between us, but that is all it is. History."

He holds a hand out, putting his hand over Saeyong's before he can take out another cigarette. He edges closer to him as his grip moves to his wrist with a loose touch. "If you need pain, let me give it to you. Don't damage your skin. Even if it heals, I don't…like seeing you claw at yourself or burn yourself."


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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling Uneasy, getting better || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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Saeyong shook his head a little to his apology, "You don't have to apologize for my incompetence." he says, "I was being difficult, the blame is all mine." he adds, trying to assure him he didn't have to feel guilty about his own actions. He didn't want to add another thing to his list of things he blamed himself for. Besides, he was right, he was being hard to comprehend, anyone would have reacted similarly especially if it bothered them to some degree. He could see himself reacting that way if the roles were reversed but only if it was someone he cared enough for. He cared for the other, more than he'd like to admit. Maybe it was the care that he had that lead him to feel discomfort. Though, he did realize in a lot of ways, he was less himself when he was around him and attempting to be mindful-sometimes. What was this?

The man takes in another deep breath as his hand relaxes on itself, listening to the man explain his relationship to the one that he was brewing these unpleasant thoughts towards. His gaze shifted sheepishly as he didn't know what to say to him, "I think I understand." he says, well not so much. He understood that despite touching each other, they didn't have to be lovers, but was that not flirtatious? How? It didn't look flirtatious, but it felt like something he was missing not just from Octavius, but from anyone he met. Maybe it was as Avi explained, it was something between them, it was something about their bond. "I think the idea was so foreign to me, I didn't see it that way." he said after a moments thought. Maybe he longed for it for himself. "I've touched many, I don't think it ever looks or feels like that." he'd add, looking down at his hand, soon noticing the mark he left on himself and the circular burns. "I don't think I'd ever have that with any of them though." he'd add as he shook the thought off and reach for his pack.

Seeing and feeling his hand over his own, he felt a spark course through his being. Strange, was he using his power? He casts his gaze up to the man and ponders over the offer. Normally this would be where he'd drop the seriousness and pretend like none of this even happened and take his offer right away. But, he didn't think it fit right now. "I don't want you feeling discomfort from it." he'd say, not pulling away from his touch though, instead, moving his hand slowly to brush his fingers over his palm and rest his own over it to hold it. "I'm quite content with what I have for now. Besides, I'd rather see you as pleasant, smiling and laughing as you were not too long ago with your family." he'd say, giving his hand a little squeeze before loosening his grip. "I can harass you another time, darling." he'd add playfully.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "Will he come?" | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"It wasn't incompetence on your part. You are allowed to feel uncomfortable in a foreign situation." While Saeyong doesn't want him to feel guilty over another thing, he doesn't want Saeyong to feel like it is all his fault either. Like it was a bad thing to be uncomfortable in a situation and not know how to react to it. He's not going to be angry over that. He was just angry that he was being iced out if something he wasn't aware of before he was even spoken to.

He smiles a little bit as his hands slide into the pockets of his pants. He feels a lot more relaxed again now that they talked it out. "Have you ever tried to have that with someone at all? If you don't try, it's no wonder it never happens." They built a dependency on one another because of their upbringing. For a while, it was just him and Masumi navigating a cruel world together. Masumi saved him by coming shortly after what happened to his mother. He couldn't have survived that being as young as he was. The nightmares where he woke up screaming in cold sweats had caused him to lose sleep. His father no longer stayed with him until he was back in bed. His mother no longer sang to him until his fears went away. He had been truly alone. "Masumi and I are a special case I guess. Not many people get to know one another in such a way. He came into my life after my mother…he's what I needed to move forward, so he's a comfort to me."

Sometimes he wishes that it was uncomfortable for him to use it. Instead of when he gets the pleasant tingling on his skin and the feel of absolute relief. "I don't like what I can do. It was made to kill someone, but you're the first person who gets relief from it instead of death. It doesn't cause me discomfort physically. I just person don't like that I can do it." When Saeyong releases his grip, Avi shifts his focus to hugging him instead. "But we can do it later. When everyone is settling down. Will you come with me to my room then?"

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ll Neo ll

 

[ll Neo ll]

❛ Saeyong Joon ❜
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Anneyong! I’m 준 새용 || I'm feeling A bit better, playful || I'm speaking to Avi, his friend and family || Where am I? Octavius' house || What am I wearing? My attempt at respectful - gloomy
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"It could have been expressed better from my end." he'd admit, looking back over at the man as he tried to make him feel better about the situation but he knew where his shortcomings lied, he knew where his limitations where, most of the time. While it wasn't out of the ordinary how the other reacted, though he didn't feel it was the best time to humor his way out of this, not this time.

Saeyong fidgeted with the box of cigarettes in his hand, flipping and closing the lid while he thought about what he says and taps his cheek with the box. "I wouldn't say I haven't tried..." he'd start off, "There were instances where we'd touch each other without the intention of making love or..." he trailed away and pursed his lips, "I don't think it was always appreciated." he finally finish as he pondered upon past relationships, ones that could even be considered. "Emotionally, I am not good enough to be there for anyone, so, I guess that narrows it down." he concludes that he wasn't a good soulmate or companion for his past relationships either. His own world seemed empty, passing faces with occasional pitstops, but none that often chose to stay or maybe time wasn't on their side. Had he really experienced companionship like the other did? "It must be nice to have that." he'd say, feeling a sense of that feeling from earlier. Jealousy, was it? He felt it now, not towards Masumi, well maybe it could be him but the two for having each other. Solitude never bothered him, but sometimes, it was nice to just hold hands without expecting anything, float over the waters and watch the stars and maybe talk about things that weren't relevant. It seemed nice to share that with someone.

"My twisted sense of relief shouldn't be pass to expect you to use your abilities on me." he'd state, despite how much he wouldn't mind being put through that suffering, he wasn't willing to take away the radiance he saw today. But something was different. He didn't seem like he was being forced into helping him like how it usually played out. It got him curious. He looked up, a little startled as he found himself pressed against his chest. He heard his words and attempted to look at him in disbelief but alas, he couldn't miss his opportunity to poke a little fun now could he? "If you want me to." he'd say, his hands that were resting on his back slowly slid down to his bottom and stayed there until the other let him, "Don't expect me to behave though." he'd add in a sultry whisper.

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O.O.C.



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tiny14xx2

 

[tiny14xx2]

tab ʟσcαтισɴ : Hσme | cσмραɴץ : Sumi, my brothers, and Saeyong. | ғєєʟιɴɢ : Too many things | тнσυɢнтs : "Good to know he's back to normal..." | ʀєsιםєɴcє : 1513 Lumiere Housing District | ρʀσғιʟє : Here
σccυραтισɴ : Soleil Librarian | sтαтυs : Single | συтғιт: : Casual clothes for once | σσc : Avi is his usual color, Masumi is this color, Marcellus is this color, and Castielle is this color.




"Then you weren't with the right person." He can guess that there are some people only concerned with their own pleasure, so they don't really care about whether or not their partner wants a connection. He couldn't understand that mindset either. He never could do such things with Masumi. They were very limited in what they could do based on how well the two of them could stay focused. Not only could Avi hurt Masumi if he were to lose focus, Masumi could hurt Avi if he did. And whenever Masumi started sapping Avi's energy to replace whatever he lacked, Avi lost control over his own abilities the most because he was weaker. It was always too risky, and they typically had to stop before they got too intense. "Well, when you have partners who don't care about you, that can tend to assist in making a person less likely to seek more out of sexual companions from there on." He gives a shrug as he sighs, wondering if it was a good or bad thing that him and Masumi were so close, but always had to be cautious when they touched each other. Every kiss, every touch, every attempt at more could have killed them both. "It has its ups and downs."

"I wouldn't offer if I hated it. Like I said, its the first time its ever helped someone, even if it is still a little morbid." He returns to sighing as soon as he feels the hand on his butt. It is good to know that Saeyong can get back into his usual joking nature even after their random argument. "I know you take joy out of teasing the virgin, but you could dial that back a bit." He pulls away, but takes the man's hand so he can start leading him back towards the house. "Everyone's waiting for us to return."

When he approaches the door again with Saeyong, the lock clicks and Marcellus is peeking out through a small slit. "Are you done fighting?" Avi sighs and the man opens the door more to let them in. He releases Saeyong's hand so he can put an arm around Marcellus and ruffle his hair. "Yeah, sorry we worried you. Did they pick a movie?" The man nods before glancing at Saeyong. "Do you like comedies Saeyong? Cas thought it might cut through all the awkwardness."

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ll Neo ll