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 Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2023 1:22 pm
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Emerson stood somberly amongst the trees of the forest. Occasionally lifting a leg just high enough to move hoof from ground only to clomp down and kick at the very earth beneath him. It had been many months, almost a year in fact, since the accident with his mate. He was no longer so distraught as when it had first happened and the weeks after. It had changed him. Filled now with regret, sadness, anger and immense guilt. He hadn't even gone near the location where he lost her as it would simply break him all over again to see the bridge, whether it was now repaired or not, and the ravine that took her away.
He suffered alone for the few friends he had, knew not of the same pain as he. He had loved her so very much and they were going to start a family. She had been so excited by the idea. His beautiful flower, Chantilly. He was a mess still to the day, nights filled with unpleasant dreams reliving the moments before, during and after. Sometimes they ended just as the last board broke and he yelled her name. Others showed visions of what he hadn't even seen of her end. Days and nights dragged on with the same outcome that he lost track of how long it had been. At least after two weeks he began to eat again, a little at first to curb terrible hunger pangs.
When Liam found his friend, he outwardly huffed a sigh. Hoping the noise caught the other stallion's attention. He knew what had happened, more from word of mouth then from his own buddy. It was hard to relate or talk to him since he hadn't opened up about it to anyone. He walked over and gently nudged his friend. While it was terrible to lose one he had been grateful not to lose them both. "Hey, Emerson, please.. talk with me awhile." He pleaded softly. It hadn't been the first time and never the last if he could help it. The grey stallion looked up finally, some normal clarity in his somber features. "Liam. It's good to see you friend." Came an almost eerily calm response. Liam braced for anything to happen. At first it was begging to help him find her and heal her with his horn. Then accusations against him for not helping since he 'have a bloody horn so you can fix her but you are being selfish'
Emerson slowly sunk down to his front knees while shifting the back legs to lower himself further and lay down. Movements slow as if doing so was the exhausting part. His heavy breathes made puffs of loose dirt from his hoof kick up. "I had reassured her it would be okay. That I would protect her. But I can't pull her up with hooves. I watched.. her terrified expression as she dropped so far. I couldn't look away even when her body hit the rocky wall on the way down. I don't know how" Emerson paused for a moment before continuing "How to forgive myself for everything. I shouldn't have taken that risk let alone let her cross it too." Liam closed his eyes knowing he had to plan carefully what he would say. It could be crucial. "Life is full of lessons, teaching us through love and loss, heartbreak and great joy. No one else can tell you how to feel or how to grow from your loss. Only you can find the way to forgive and let it go so you can live on, for her. You don't have to forget her and if it helps, talk to her still. Include her as if she is still here until you feel it is time. I am here for you. I am sorry for what you went through. Please don't feel you are a burden to talk to me. Talk my ear off. Please." He stared down at his friend who still laid and held his gaze on a single blade of grass. Liam waited for any sign from him. The male slowly nodded his head, turning it to look up at him. "Thank you Liam. I am so grateful for you. I wish I could feel normal again." Emerson laid his head down as if he was completely defeated in spirit.
Liam watched him quietly before responding again, "You will some day. Until then it's alright to not be normal. I am still here my friend." It wouldn't be seen but Liam smiled a little as he then lowered himself beside Emerson. He looked forward to having his old friend back and until then he made sure the big guy ate food and didn't do anything foolish. He just wished his magic could do more then heal physical wounds as broken hearts were just as dangerous.
WC: 813
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2023 2:39 pm
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Emerson had spent hours laying there, some of that time spent alone. Liam had again told him he was there for him but had to return home. It was well after dark, the sun setting over an hour ago. Just as slowly as when he lowered himself, he worked to pull himself up to his hooves again. Knees felt like they would buckle under him at first. When he felt sure they wouldn't give out below him, he started to move. The trees had shaded him from the sun and any warmth found with it and now it felt far colder. He wandered in a slow canter until at last he was out of the forest and he could see clearly the stars that dotted the clear night sky above. With a glance around he would verify he was alone. Closing his eyes tightly, he belted out a long whinny that wracked his chest from the depth it reached and the pain it helped release. "WHY?! Why her!?" His back legs bucked out to kick at the air behind him as if some unknown presence was biting at his heels. It was an act fit for a foal, lashing out angrily at parents not giving in to his demands. He thrashed and bucked, whinnying out his frustration and sadness. When he felt all of the energy leave him, he collapsed there on the spot. Falling to his knees then to his side to lay still and quiet except for his hard breathing. "I'm trying so hard.. not to love you anymore. Help me forget, please." he sighed, quietly sulking. "It's still tearing me apart." his words were but a whisper. The same words repeatedly to himself a few times before exhaustion and sleep overtook him.
WC: 295
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