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 Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:24 pm
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Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.
Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.
Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.
Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.
Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.
Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.
Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.
Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.
Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.
So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?
You can't.
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Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:40 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 1:27 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:37 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 11:44 pm
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 11:08 am
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 4:38 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:08 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 7:10 pm
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 9:07 am
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If you're interested in constructive criticism:
Some of your stanzas seemed too vague to lend any real meaning to the poem and in my opinion detracted from the overall message. The occasional abuse of grammar also takes away from the message, which I think was based on more mature thought than what such language is associated with. It seems as though this was written as though it were a lyrical rap, unless that was your sole intent and it was not meant to stand as a poem, I would suggest a revisement, as it has a good base in the spirit of the material.
Otherwise:
It is the invisible walls that hold strongest, those intangible but uncrossable lines set out in order to construct whatever product we're desired to be by ourselves or others. The only thing worse than the scrape of the noose of societal requirements around your neck is feeling trapped within yourself, as you've then truly lost all personal freedom.
This is the last stanza of 'To Althea, from Prison,' by Richard Lovelace
Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage;
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for an hermitage;
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone that sore above
Enjoy such liberty.
But once a person can find no freedom in their heart - well, stone walls and iron bars would be rather unnecessarily redundant then. Liberty becomes a bittersweet pipe dream.
Ature Manti Right now, I am really stuck inside my prison without a chance of escape.
I have a nail file and a spoon. ninja
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 8:35 am
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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:09 am
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