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Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:25 pm
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I am having some pretty bad parent problems.... I dunno what you can do to help me, but I just thought maybe you could.... Anyway, so my problem is, I am nothing like my parents. Like, they're all mean and nasty and I'm well.... Nice.... But that sounds so bad when I say it but it's true. Like, they arn't just mean to others either.... That's my problem.
You see, I kinda live to please if you know what I mean. And when others arn't happy, I'm not happy. So I try to fix it. I dunno if that's a good enough discription, but I tried. My family ( brother included ) takes full advantage of that quality. They can never be pleased with me. And I try really really hard, but it's never good enough. They say things that hurt me. And I can't do anything about it. I'm the older sibling, so... Well there's favoritism in my house. Let's just say I'm obviously not the favorite. I get in trouble for a lot of things that really arn't my fault at all. My brother is a great lier... But I'm sure you've heard that before. I could point out a million times that I've felt this way, but I can't take it much more.... I really can't. A recent example:
I went on a trip last week. Just me with a group of kids from my church (and adults obviously) But basically I'm saying my parents weren't there. I had an aweful time. It was so aweful.... All I wanted to do was come home. My mom made the leader allow me to keep my phone always so she could call me anytime. That was fine. She called. I called. Blah blah skip to the end. It was time to go home. The flight was terrible. A 2 hour lay over turned into 5 hours. I didn't end up getting home til 3 in the morning. My mom and grandma and dad got up to say hi. I gave them all a quick hug and said hello then went to bed. Well apparently my hug was not nearly good enough. I woke up the next morning ( yestraday ) My grandma was like, "Go hug your mom." So I was like okay whatever. Nothing out of the ordinary right?? Wrong. She flipped. She started crying and shouting and telling me how badly I had hurt her feelings because my hug was not good enough. I went to my room for most of the rest of the day and most of today too. I'm almost scared. That I'm gonna do something wrong again. I'm so confused.... She isn't mad at me anymore. She came up to my room and had me apologize to her and give her a better hug. That was just the other day. You probably think I'm a total idiot... But I'm beginning to feel kind of worthless. I think the only reason she insisted on me having my phone was to make her look like a better person, more concerned about her child than the other parents were about theirs. Maybe if I had gotten some hugs when I was growing up, I might have known better how to give one..... And I feel like I sound selfish.... 'Cause I know that there are so many people who have it so much worse than I do. But there were many other instances when I felt this way. Many. I talk to my cousin a lot about this stuff. He has seen it first hand. He says he thinks it kinda like mental abuse. But neither he nor I know what that is exactly so I wouldn't want to assume that.
But I also like to stay positive. I've always tried to be positive and cheer people up and be nice to people. My family is just the opposite. They see a homeless man on the street and start saying horrible things about them and automatically assuming that the homeless man is a terrible person. And they don't even know his name. I hate that. If I could, I would have tried to help that guy out ya know?? I mean, I know I can't, but I mean if I had the choice to either help him or just walk on by, I would want to help.
And ya know, I'm not like, Emo or anything. I don't sit around a mope about stupid stuff all the time. It's like my mind is tired of all of this. Not that I have anything against Emos either. emo heart I'm just a nice guy stuck in a big ol' house full of not nice people. I'm still gonna try and keep cool. Just look on the bright side. I just can't help but notice that it keeps on getting harder and harder to find.
I really could use some advice...
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Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 9:53 pm
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This one is a bit of a tough situation. I'm sorry but i don't know of much you could do. When this started happening to me, I just stopped talking, stopped helping, and stopped giving in. I would be over at friends houses most of the day, stay after school for various activities, and stay out of the house as much as possible.
That may not work in your position. By the way you describe it, that won't help too much. Some humans get joy off of others pain. ex. when you see some guy on TV get kicked in the balls, you laugh, right? But some people purposely make others suffer for their own enjoyment.
Or maybe your parents just want more. They may think that you are never actually trying. That may not be the case.
I don't know you, or your family. So I can make no definite decision on this matter, but I can try and help.
Do less. Stop giving in. Stay out of the house as much as possible. Keep busy.
If that doesn't work, speak to a counselor about it. Or, bring it up with your parents(not a great idea).
This may sound hard, but stop giving a sh!# about what other people think. Start acting a little more for your happiness than others'. You've realized that people take advantage of anything and everything that they can, stop giving them something to take advantage over. Ignorance can be used to your advantage at this point, not extreme ignorance, but passive ignorance.
I hope this helped.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:51 am
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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:07 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:05 am
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 7:38 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 3:18 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:11 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 8:30 pm
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No offense, but your parents, especially mother, sound like passive-aggressive whiners. Nothing you can do about it, because that's just how they are, but do keep in mind that no matter what you do, it just won't be good enough to please them. AND THAT IS NOT YOUR FAILING. It isn't your fault! And it's not your job to make them happy. Okay? It's really not.
I used to be just like you. And there came a day where I just couldn't take the bullshit anymore, and it led to a face-off between me and my stepfather: it turned violent, and I was lucky that I didn't get more than a few scrapes and bruises. As soon as I could, I moved away from that place, and I don't have much contact with my family anymore.
Even though you feel like it's your responsibility to fix things for everyone, it's not. My telling you this won't drive the lesson home; I think this is something that you will need to learn for yourself.
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Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:41 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:11 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:11 am
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dark lord toilet scrubber
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