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The Insane Icen Where thoughts and memories become unknown and unwanted, except by their author.


Icen
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Thinking

Suddenly, I have been thinking about my past. All today, while I was at my friend's party. We all started talking about our elementary school years, and it made me think back...way back...

In kindergarten (around when I was...3-4) I discovered my ability for drawing. And my main interest when I was in elementary school was dogs. I loved dogs, I was obsessed with them (I have two). So all I ever drew was dogs.

It all started in first grade, when people kept asking me why I drew dogs. I just told them I liked dogs. And they found it weird, so they started to pick on me. The teasings got worse and worse throughout elementary school. Once, in fifth grade, a boy sent me and my friends threats that he would hurt us.

Basically, everyday from first to sixth grade, I was made fun of. I was also physically hurt, a lot. Hit, punched, kicked, balls thrown at me deliberately, and chairs pushed into me until I fell over.

All because I liked dogs, a lot. I was also a weird, weird little child. I liked bugs, to touch them, pick them up, examine them. I wore boys clothing and was a major tomboy. Most all my friends in elementary school were male, and I played sports and rough-housed. I liked playing in the mud and getting dirty.

I also was never in any trends. Like pokemon, pop caps, or Star Wars. The only thing I liked was in third grade, when it came to TY beanie babies and tamagotchis. I still like them. They're pretty neat.

Also, I was taken advantage of as well, because I drew better than most all the kids in my classes. They would ask me to draw them things, and, because I never could turn down someone's wishes, I did draw things for them. But the kids would still be mean to me.

When I hit seventh and eighth grade, that tormenting stopped. But I had become a loner pretty much in middle school. I was targetted by a lot of people, girls mostly, and was just constantly made fun of for stupid things, basically because I had pretty much no friends. It was hell.

And now, in my highschool years, there are just the occassional assholes that like to spread rumors around about me (like my ex and his friends, damn them). But those are completely different stories. Too different. I am 16 now, and a sophomore in highschool. (That's tenth grade).

I'm also becoming less passive. Normally, I would just let the beatings go on, and not say anything and be quiet. But I'm becoming more aggressive, because I am so sick and tired of being pushed around. I've been getting more violent lately.





 
 
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