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Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting
off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one
of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8 ) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18 ) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits
with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
True Love Means...
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to
happen.
Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Your having fun right?
Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scared
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.
Guy: Give me a hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take me Helmet off of me and put it on
you? It's bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building break
failure. Two people found, but only one survived.
The Truth is: That halfway down the road the guy realized that his breaks broke,
but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and
felt her hug him for one last time. Then had her wear him helmet so she would
live, even though it meant that he would die.
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you
can't have them.
I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because
I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.
A girl asked a boy if she was pretty.
He said no.
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever.
He said no.
She then asked him if he would cry if she walked away.
He again said no.
She had heard too much.
She needed to leave.
As she walked away, he grabbed her arm and told her to stay, he said,
"You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I
need to be with you forever. I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an
imperfect person perfectly.
"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them
in."
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but your best friend is the
one sitting next to you saying "that was f***ing awesome"
What do you do when the only one that can make you stop crying, is the person
who made you cry?
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day
to love someone -- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and
fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him
out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing
cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who s**ts on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of s**t is your friend
3. And when you're in deep s**t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't
you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength
to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more
dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who
shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it wont keep you
there.
Love is like holding pin needles in your palm. If you hold it too tight, it will
hurt you.
I Fell In Love With You The First Time We Kissed
I Knew I Wanted To Be Yours 4-Ever The First Time You Said You Loved Me
I Knew It Would Last Forever Them Moment We Said I Do
FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin " we messed up ... but it was fun!"
FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.
REAl FRiENDS: cry with you
FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAl FRiENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.
REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say " drink the
rest of that you know we don't waste it."
FAKE FRiENDS: will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them out
I want the kind of guy who i can run to,with tears running down my face,make-up
smeared & the first thing he says is "who's butt am i kicking next?"
Just some quotes that i thought ya'll would enjoy!!!
love ya! heart
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