I have been thinking lately on how many people hate me... And really, some of them. I don't even know why. It just bothers me to know that people hate me for no reason, or because they feel like making up one, or even silly ones. I guess it's just how life is, and I should stop caring of what people think of me.
I made new friends this year, and drifted from my old ones. I didn't hang out with them for a long time, and it's hard for me to even call them and ask to hang out, since I was the one that left them kind of... I wish I handled a lot of things differently.
xSarah Hates You (3:20:15 PM): I hate that you don't ******** think for yourself xSarah Hates You (3:20:22 PM): You've become a space monkey Sarah, I now know you were right... At least I think I know what you mean. I let people control my actions sometimes. I also wish that someday we can start talking again, because I really need to talk to you about something... And I need to apologize.
My dad told me a couple of days ago that I am really narrow minded. And I guess he is right. I don't have a lot of interests except anime and Tennis. I mean, I am 15 years old and I sit by the tv watching cartoons and shows on Nickelodeon. I think I need to start thinking about my future, and try to find some hobbies that could benefit me when I get to higher learning and start an adult life. I mean, is anime really going to help me in the future...? He is also telling me that I changed a lot. That I am not as cheerful as I used to be. I don't know why... I have to get back to the Damian I was 1 year ago. The one that always smiled... was childish... but smiled always, and tried to always be happy. I feel like I don't know myself anymore and it's driving me nuts that everyone about me is either not knowing who I am anymore, or slowly starting to hate me... Is there something wrong with me? Is there something I need in life? Should I go back to my old friends...? I don' know what I did wrong. Right now, I just wish I was left alone to think... I am to afraid of what the future holds for me.
These thought left me thinking about quitting Gaia... I don't know anymore... Everything is so scrambled... I can't think straight right now... Maybe I never could. I wish I started eight grade all over again...
Damey-chama · Mon Jul 02, 2007 @ 07:41am · 4 Comments |