Cold, Uncaring, hatefilled, demonic, numb... I've been called this and more. Still I can't help but wonder why... why can't people just accept the way that I am...
Why can't I just be me and not labeled, branded, shoved into being a certain way...
To help myself cope with the branding, I must admit that I have become more... "colder" to people. Yet, is it really my falut? I was young when I was first branded, labeled, and I had no idea how to cope, how to keep myself from slipping into that dillema that was called classifications. Still now, as I have evolved from a 9 year old to a 16 year old, I still hide behind my mask of "the loner", turning into "the outcast". For I must say that, that is where I have put myself. I've been hated by most of my grade eversince three weeks after moving to where I live now. Is that fair? Yet, is life even supposed to be fair? Isn't that a saying, "Life ain't fair" or am I imagining it? That is always a possibility.
I must say that I am being more truthfull here than many other journals I have...
Now I must wonder, is anyone reading? If someone, anyone, is then are they like me? Have they been labeled again and again like me? Have he or she tried the "ice" defence tatctic like I have, equally having people whisper behind their backs that their soul is as black as night or that they've lost theirs?
I'm done for now...
I'm sorry but I so emotionally out I just want to go to my room and sob, not cry, its hard to cry now... but I'll let my body break down with dry sobs and curl into a ball. I'll pop in a cd and light a candle... yeah sounds good.
 Malachi16 · Thu Nov 15, 2007 @ 03:01am · 0 Comments |
