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Read this on one of my fave anime sites, died laughing reading it, still find it funny a day later.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle wild Pokemon... he just stares them down, points at his Poke ball, and they comply without question.
Ryoma Echizen is the Prince of Tennis; he keeps it that way because he knows Chuck Norris has already killed at least two kings by playing tennis with them.
Onizuka must slowly win his students over and deal with their mistrust of teachers while handling the distrust of his fellow teachers; Chuck Norris calls Onizuka a chicken****.
The extended part on the right side of The Laughing Man's logo didn't used to be there; it was added after Chuck Norris tore The Laughing Man's ear out after he foolishly allowed spam mail about erectile dysfunction to make its way into Chuck Norris' in-box.
Chuck Norris beat the 86 of Akina on the downhill in a Radio Flyer wagon.
When Goku's power level rose to over 9000, Chuck Norris snerked and stopped watching, as he put it, "some damn stupid fight between amateurs".
Chuck Norris understood FLCL the first time around.
There are those who live in the colonies called Coordinators; Chuck Norris calls them "sad imitations".
Chuck Norris doesn't follow the Law of Equivalent Exchange; when Chuck Norris is involved, there is no equivalent.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has always been aired in its correct episodic form. The alleged "televised order" only occurred in a section of closed space created when Chuck Norris was bored waiting for his grizzly bear heart to finish microwaving.
Chuck Norris was originally slated to play Chiyo-chan's father in Sakaki's daydreams. When Chuck Norris refused to allow his image to be used in "some damn stupid story surrounded by minors," all his scenes were quickly replaced with a stylised yellow cat; Chuck Norris' powers of levitation, invulnerability to bullets and being Santa Claus remained in-script, however.
Chuck Norris wa Kira dess.
Chuck Norris could have easily passed the Todai University entrance exam on the first try; however, the alternative of being the manager of an all-girls dormitory was a no-brainer.
Van Fanel uses a dragon's heart to power his guymelef Escaflowne; Chuck Norris uses them to power his beard and mustache trimmer.
The First Impact took place when an angry drunk man punched Chuck Norris in the stomach to no effect. The Second Impact took place when Chuck Norris retaliated; the human population of the earth was halved in the process.
Chuck Norris has no Gundam. Chuck Norris needs no Gundam. Chuck Norris is Gundam.
No one has ever passed the Chuunin exam in the Hidden Chuck Norris Village. A support group was started among those who tried but failed; that group is called Akatsuki.
The only reason Tuxedo Mask gets to date Sailor Moon is because Chuck Norris doesn't do jail bait - regardless of how much jail bait wants to do Chuck Norris.
As a youth, Chuck Norris studied at Ouran High School and was even a member of the Host Club. After he graduated and left Ouran, the remaining hosts instated a rule that no hosts could have beards, incorrectly thinking that to be the reason girls always requested Chuck Norris' company and no one else's.
When Chuck Norris wants to make a Spirit Bomb, the planet doesn't make him wait to give him its energy.
Chuck Norris once swallowed a pair of AA-batteries; 3 days later, Astro Boy rocketed his way out of the toilet.
Chuck Norris is known on record for loving the series Elfen Lied, calling it "the cutest, funniest show available today."
Vash the Stampede's signature catchphrase, when directly translated from Japanese, is "Chuck Norris and all the lucky souls whom he has yet to consider killing." Evidently, there was no suitable, elegant translation that could match the lip-flaps of the character; hence, Vash's catchphrase in English is "Love and Peace!"
Vowing never to kill again, Chuck Norris now wanders the land with only a reverse-roundhouse kick at his side; the next day when someone tried to tell him it didn't work that way, Chuck Norris broke his vow.
Chuck Norris doesn't need the Lance of Longinus to pierce an AT Field; his has his own lance capable of penetrating the same and much, much more.
Bleach mangaka Kubo Tite created a concept for a Hollow based on Chuck Norris, but the results were too graphic to publish in Shounen Jump.
If Chuck Norris had been found in that spaceship as a baby by Grandpa Gohan, Dragon Ball Z would have been finished in a single 26-episode series.
Chuck Norris once jumped into a Cursed Spring in Jusenkyo; ever since then, any time that spring gets splashed with cold Chuck Norris, it takes his form. This could have been a good thing, except there is no such thing as an un-hot Chuck Norris.
Orbo, the Green liquid used for combating witches was originally composed of Nitroglycerin, Uranium, and Chuck Norris' saliva. The substance was eventually deemed too dangerous and volatile, and Chuck Norris' spit was replaced with the vastly inferior witches' blood.
Chuck Norris is the Pirate King, for the One Piece treasure is his; once one understands that, one immediately understands what the "One Piece" truly is.
If the humans had named their ship "The Super Dimension Fortress Chuck Norris", the Zentradi never would have messed with Earth. Ever.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Mugen and Jin so hard that they broke the barrier of time and space and ended up in the distant future; Jin lost an arm and both lost their memories. Many years later, they would start new lives under the aliases of Spike and Jet.
Chuck Norris was once data-drained in The World; over three weeks later, the CC Corporation was able to get their servers and their game back online and recover their lost data.
Chuck Norris solved the Millenium Puzzle in 9.77 seconds in the finals of the Dutch Open 2007 held on October 13/14, overtaking the previous best time of over eight years set by Yugi Mutou of Japan set at the Spanish Open a few months earlier.
Chuck Norris is capable of producing offspring with a Persocom... not that he's ever really needed to...
Soot Sprites are created when Chuck Norris sneezes after bouts of killing things in old, poorly-ventilated buildings.
Chuck Norris once ate a Catbus alive; since he did it in an old, poorly-ventilated building, he went on to sneeze and create Soot Sprites.
And the final three...
When Chuck Norris powers all the way up, his own power level thinks it's impossible.
Chuck Norris once went to Konoha Village and became the 5th, 6th, and 7th Hokage; his beard became the 8th. Naruto couldn't believe it.
The human who writes Chuck Norris' name in this note shall die.
 Darth_Magus1 · Tue Nov 20, 2007 @ 11:47am · 0 Comments |
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