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Yesterday I meet all my relatives from my mother's side. They were pretty nice and cool... and old (some of them was young). My mother told me to smile and say "Hi nice to meet you" to them and try stop thinking about Mataki for a while. It was hard... really hard to do it, but at least, I gave them a little smile some times to show my respect.
But... when at the evening I was told to look after all the kids in a playground nearby... Seven kids... and they all made me think of Mataki the whole time... Same energy, same happieness, and everything. I watched them but I feelt like I was about to cry the whole time, but I couldn't, not in front of the kids... dammit.