Can't ******** sleeeeeeep gonk Every time I close my eyes I see her laying there, and then he shows up also. The unsettling motion of their bodies makes me want to throw up. *sigh* If anybody reads this they'll probably see "freak" encoded in it or something. But as of this moment, my world is shattered. An untainted vision of someone you love can be better then the truth in my opinion. Don't try to confirm unwanted suspicions, it doesn't work... it never works. The only reason why I stick around is because I keep her sane, with out me who knows how she'll end up. But every time I see her.... it's just not the same. She used to be my reason to smile and aspire to do good things, ya' know make sure I do this right or else I won't be able to see her for a while. Now, I'm not sure how I feel... that oh so familiar twist in my stomach is still there, just a little different. And what is the most pathetic part, I still love her... I think I always will. Perhaps it's not love then, just an obsession that I can't escape anymore. I can't close my eyes sometimes just because I see them, naked....... ********. Almost makes me wish... I didn't have a conscience.
I don't hate them though.
~exhaustion is the key
 melidserke · Fri Oct 29, 2004 @ 06:12am · 1 Comments |
