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	Sadness taking over
	Sadness taking over


I dunno whats wrong with me, but lately Ive been feeling depressed. Usually I can only stay depressed for a few hours but recently Ive been depressed for a longer period of time. My heart's becoming a black hole, sucking my soul into empty nothingness. My once happy and peace loving thoughts are now turning into hateful dark depressing suicidal thoughts. Every day I'll space out and think of death, and taking my own life. I picture myself laying on my bed with a bottle of pills at my feet...or a puddle of blood surrounding my wrist and neck. I know I'll never act upon these thoughts but still...the thoughts themselves scare the living st out of me. Whats going on? Why am I like this? Whats happening to me? I feel so hated and alone. The me everyone knows and loves is disappearing. Death seems to be the only thing on my mind...well, that and dark/depressing things. I wish I could find a song to describe how im feeling but alas, there isnt a song dark deep or sad enough to describe the pain im carrying around. Music used to make me happy but now...it doesnt even bring a smile to my face. Yeah, I seem fine on the internet but thats only cause its easy to fake happiness over the computer. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before so I havent any idea how to handle it. Im too afraid to tell my mom because...well...i dont wanna end up in a loony bin. Its sad that all of this doesnt even skim the surface of my feelings. Well, this is getting long...so imma stop typing...I just had to get some of my emotional baggage out. Sorry about the longness...and for wasting your time for who ever reads this K a y l a s a u r o u s** · Sun Feb 03, 2008 @ 06:35am · 4 Comments


K a y l a s a u r o u s Community Member «Prev \| Next» Archive \| Home [05/13/10 11:39pm] [05/13/10 11:34pm] [05/13/10 11:33pm] [05/13/10 11:31pm] [05/11/10 09:36pm] [05/05/10 10:03pm] [05/05/10 08:49pm] [05/05/10 08:28pm] [05/02/10 03:30pm] [03/06/10 02:17pm]

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When your world falls apart... Who do you run to?

User Comments: [4]

-Her Babbit-
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Sun Feb 03, 2008 @ 06:48am

I wish I could say I know how you feel...
But in truth.. I've only been sad enough to even consider taking my own life once.
I can undertsand that those images would scare you...
And if hapiness with people you meet over the computer seems fake to you..
There's nothing we can do to change it.
There are poeple that care about you, Kayla.
Even if you met them on gaia, they're still real people.
Look at the friends you have, and if you really believe that we dont care..
You're making a mistake, but not one we can help you with.
These are your own feelings and emotions, and you need to try and work them out however you see fit.
We all have times when we feel like s**t, Kayla. You're not alone.
I understand that you're going through a hard time in your life and I'm sorry.
I'm not taking pity on you, but sad that you have to go through it.
If you really try, you can make things better.
It's good to let your feelings out like this.
Keeping them bottled up only makes you explode in time.
I'm aware that you don't like opening up to people, but I think you should find someone you feel comfortable telling these things to.
A good talk can make miracles.
I would know.
I've felt depressed and unstable many times before.
I usually try to let it out and talk about it with someone I know and trust.
Oh, and Kayla.
If you feel like crying, it's okay to cry.
Just try not to hurt yourself.
No matter how tempting it is, I guarantee it's never the answer.
Sorry to bother you with this long comment.
I'm sorry you feel this way, and if theres's anything I can do to help, I'd love it if you let me know.
I don't like seeing you suffer.
Hope the sky is blue again, soon.
-Rai

The Fabulous M a r x
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Sun Feb 03, 2008 @ 06:57am

here's the song I sing to you.

Hurt
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt

Iwill let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feelings disappear

you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

just remember kayla, you have friends who love you and we're always here for you. You're never alone. I love you kayla
(as a close friend) and you're not hated. All people go through a similar time in their life where they face crisis that results in life or death. I know you're strong enough to not commit suicide. If you die, I don't know what I'd do. Just tell me how you feel and I'll make you feel better outside the computer. Don't worry, I'll roundhouse kick death in the face for you.

And believe me sis, you never waste my time because my time is worthless

The Fabulous M a r x
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Mon Feb 04, 2008 @ 12:08am

see? this proves my point. You have friends who care about you and we'll always be there for you (even when you don't want us to) luv ya sis.

Shaun- User Image

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