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I felt my knees shaking as a thoughtoccurred to me; I asked my best friend, Nathan to meet me at our favorite coffee shop down the street. There where I would confess my feelings for him. I hated these feelings because I knew somehow things will go wrong. I'm really eager to find out if he likes me too, but I know it would definitely be awkward, and I never liked awkward.
I rushed out of our boring French class and scurried straight to change in to my gym clothes. As I walked out of the girl's locker room, I saw Nathan greet with me with a fresh morning smile. Nathananiel Green + fresh morning smile = not right.
"What's wrong?" I suddenly panicked, focusing my eyes on his and reading his expression.
"What do you mean? I'm not allowed to smile anymore? How could you think some thing's wrong? Nothing's wrong". He said, looking away from my eyes, knowing I could almost tell what's going on. From my facial expressions, I knew he already got the idea that I wasn't joking around, so he took a deep breath and finally started answering my question.
"D-dad's been.... drinkin'..." He said, face filled with depression and hopelessness, "I..I think he's at it with drugs again..." My heart sank as he whispered these soft but painful words in my ear, so I took a daring act and hugged him tightly. The rest of the class already thought we were a 'non-admitting' couple, this only made rumors worse. But I didn't care about rumors at the moment. Although, I wished we were a couple... but I just know it would be different. So I just hugged him closer knowing all he thought we were was friends. I told him I could ditch my usual 'Wednesday friends' and accompany him during lunch today, after all, this was an emergency and we'd have to part now, we've already taken half the period of gym class, which wasn't good.
After the subject before lunch, I hurried towards the cafeteria, hoping not to be late for our lunch together. I waited there in my table sitting alone, quietly imagining Nathan beside me... staring at his piercing green eyes while he spoke to me with such sweetness in his voice. I realized that I was almost hallucinating with hunger, but I refused to eat. Disappointed, I angrily stood up and walked to the library, hopefully, the silence will ease me. Now, running to the library doors, I saw Nathan, I could never miss those eyes. Wait a second. One more thing I couldn't miss was the person beside him. It was Stephanie. She was the girl Nathan always hoped and dreamed for, you know, the skinny blonde type all the guys adore. Anyway, I felt my already depressed heart shatter in to pieces when Stephanie leaned in and kissed Nathan while he sat there, blushing. Nathaniel D. Green was never going to be mine. Okay, maybe I was over reacting, maybe he will be mine someday... maybe even more than mine. We would carve our names on the trunk of a tree and would French kiss during our picnic together. I could only imagine me being in Stephanie's place right now while the tears came rushing down my warm cheeks and Nathan didn't see me yet. Besides, I tried to comfort myself, it's not like the world's gonna end or anything.... but that's where I was completely wrong.
The world has come to and end.
Nathan's.
been.
shot.
"BOOM!" I heard the gunshot resound in my head, over and over again, not believing that he got hit by the bullet. I panicked quietly for a few seconds and started looking for him. Searching through the messy crowd in front of me; students screaming and running in different directions, including the idiot Stephanie who didn't give a damn about the person who she just kissed. Gathering my thoughts and shoving pieces of the library bookshelves away from Nathan under it, I screamed his name several times, hoping to hear him echo back an 'I'm here'... but he didn't so I screamed harder, increasing my pace of wood I was shoving away. When I finally got a look of his head, I pulled him out of the pile with all my strength
and held him beside me while he moaned in pain a few times.
"Na... Nathan! speak to me please..." I said, in between my cries as the pool of blood started to surround us.
"Char....Ch...Charlotte, get ou...out of h..here... NOW!" He said, pushing me away with all his strength, but wasn't successful.
"Nathan... no... no... I'm.. I'm not leaving you here!" I said, trying to ask him to get up so we could go to a nurse.
"Char...Cha.." He couldn't say my name anymore, but he continued anyway, "I loved you.... l...loved...you... bes...best..." He said, his lips paler now, "M...more...more than.... arghhh!" He yelled in pain and then put his bloody hands on my cheeks, trying to comfort me and stared straight in to my watery eyes, "m...more than... anyone else...." His eyes started tearing up and he sobbed violently with me as he kisses my forehead, both of us now covered in his blood. This was the only time I had ever seen Nathan cry... and I didn't know it was this painful. One word in particular struck my heart the moment he said it... 'best' that means he loved others too... not only me. I guess I was being selfish, but I have a few seconds left with the person I love, how could I not? I understand his side, it was all my fault, I didn't tell him sooner... and now time is running out, and no one can stop it.
His tight grasp on me slowly weakened and I knew the end was near, I was so down right scared that I couldn't say a word. I screamed his name one more time, I could almost feel my lungs flow out.
"I'll...I'll.. b..be... with you.... f...forever." was all else he could say before he finally let go of me and tilted his head in full axis backwards.
"Nath... Nathan... I... I love you..." I finally said out to him. And then suddenly, I felt his hand give mine a sudden light,playful squeeze as he shot me a small grin for less than a second, but after that, all I knew was he heard what I said and he felt the exact same way.
And that day, in that one scene, gone was my best friend and our future together.
-The End-
 Moonlight_Dancero9 · Fri Apr 18, 2008 @ 10:06am · 12 Comments |
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