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	Chillin' Stuff
	Chillin' Stuff

	Chaos
	Chaos


2 hours of sleep. Seems like I never get a break. I keep moving not knowing if I'm doing the right thing and hoping I don't ****** it up. -8:53- As say goodbye to Tyler on aim he says a familiar phrase "It's always your fault". I don't know whether it's true or I'm just making the glove fit. Those old true feelings I thought I lost a long time ago come back to the surface and remind me I'm only human. Lets look back on today. I wake up after a crappy unsatisfying sleep. TIRED seems to be the theme of my life as I get up, get dressed and get on the bus. I fall asleep on the bus the vibration of the motor being soothing and awaking at once but it seems my sleep depervation will win out. I dream. I dream of revenge of forgiveness and as I wake to see the school I know that my dreams will never come true. Forgetting my books the previous day in the gym I go check to see if it's open. LOCKED. As I walk to the spot in front of the library where my friends hang out a thought came to me or a feeling i don't know what it was. I felt/though that life seemed to keep closing doors on me each door representing happiness. The troubles of this life sometimes seem more than the successes but there seems to always be one door open. Most people don't see it's light because it's so dim. They call it hope. That one door ajar I walk through. 2:40pm I've walk to my friend's house. Brad. Brad and I spent a long time talking about religion. I layed in their hammock swing back and forth telling him what I knew and talking it drift everyone once and awhile but it always came back to religion. Now Brad has a sister named Jenna. Jenna was intelligent and in my opinion pretty. Her and I had a short conversation and I felt odd around her. I think if I had the courage I'd ask her out but I know it would be stupid. I knew nothing about her and she always would be smarter and better. I wished for her but she's different than most girls. Tricky and sly. Intelligent and nimble compared to her my intelligence fall to a laughing stock. I wish though. Dream never got anyone anywhere though. I called my mom in the hopes of her picking me up. Her curses where not very reassuring but she picked me up. It has always been this way. Anything that ever had to do with me was a grand government problem a chaotic mess. It seemed that she never really wanted me but that was ok because I was here and wasn't going to let her bring me down. I got home. One problem I had to face more. A friend of mine's girlfriend and I had problems and where trying to make peace. It seemed that I did everything wrong and with her illogical mind it made everything harder. That's ok though if I can't come to peace with her we'll just have to be. Life goes on. I don't spend much time worrying about these things but might as well write them out for once. I hope you learned a little about me, but I know I'm just talking to myself. PsychoticKingForsakenGod** · Thu Jun 12, 2008 @ 02:18am · 0 Comments


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