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Random archive letters from other years part 8 |
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Damaging Words
Monday, March 12, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Wise Ones!
If you want to read a great story, I recommend the book I mentioned a couple of days ago, Backwater by Joan Bauer. It is about a sixteen-year-old girl stuck in large family of lawyers. Generations of her family had been lawyers and she happened to not be interested in the profession as being the choice for her career someday. She felt she was different from the rest of the family. She finds out that there is one other family member that she hasn’t seen since she was six years old at her own mother’s funeral. The person is her aunt who has become a hermit and lives in the mountains. She moved to the mountains because she didn’t want to be a lawyer either. We have several copies of this novel in the media center. I encourage you to pick one up; you’ll enjoy it.
One of the paragraphs fit well with the letter I wrote last Friday. It is about the damage that is done when words are used inappropriately or viciously. Listen closely to this small portion from the book Backwater.
Words are such powerful things.
We can rip somebody apart with them, we can change the course of lives by speaking them, and we can write words down that can forever hurt another person. We can use them to tell stories and lies. We can misquote them and change what other people said to make ourselves look good.
Do you know what defamation of character is? It was a term used in the story. It is when someone publicly makes remarks, in print or by word of mouth, which are untrue and damaging to another person’s reputation. Do you know that when it occurs that legal action can be taken? Can a middle school student take another middle school student to court? Probably, but I haven’t seen it done yet. I have seen parents take another student’s parents to court multiple times over the last twenty-nine years. Obviously it would be best if things were settled at the easiest level. That level is when there are two people and they decide to get along and treat each other with a new level of respect. That is the way problems should be resolved and are resolved almost every day.
Your teachers have talked about strength of character at different times during your school career. I have written letters about the need for good character traits to be practiced and lived. All students should protect their reputation of character. No student should defame another student’s name or character. Give that some thought!
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Your Life Writes Who You Are
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Life Writers!
A couple of weeks ago, a student wore a tee shirt with a wonderful quote on it. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I asked her to write it down for me. She did, and so now I can share it with all of you. Listen attentively.
“Live your life so the preacher
won’t have to lie at your funeral.”
If you remember last year I shared with most of you that random acts of reading must be a part of everyone’s life. I shared with you many little reading opportunities that I find or take for myself. One that I didn’t share was that I like to read obituaries. I very rarely know the people that passed on, but by reading the obituary, I can learn about them and their families. I can learn what was important to the deceased person and what they did during some of their life. Family members prepare the information, so I know that it is accurate for the most part.
Funerals can be different. I am a list person. I keep a list on so many different things in my life, and one list has all the funerals that I have attended. The number is 69 right now. The first funeral I attended was in 1968. I can honestly say that 68 of them have been beautiful, loving, memorable events, and yet sad ceremonies. One, when I was 22 years old, was a disaster. It was because someone tried to make it nice for the family and they ended up saying some kind things that weren’t true. People were murmuring about it and some became too vocal about the statements and actually called the man who shared the thoughts a liar after the ceremony was over. I couldn’t believe what I saw and it bothered me for a long time. I wondered if maybe the people just didn’t really know the deceased. I was a distant acquaintance so I didn’t know who was truthful and who was not. It was a very ill feeling that I left the funeral with because what ever the story was, I believed it was a disrespectful episode to end someone’s life.
It was almost 30 years ago when that funeral happened. It made me realize then that my life was being watched always by people around me, both family and friends, and even people that didn’t know me. I have kept that in mind for almost three decades. That is why seeing the quote on a student’s tee shirt stirred so much energy and enthusiasm in me. The quote explained that everyday of a person’s life was being recorded in someone’s mind’s eye. That’s a scary thought, but it is one that we all need to keep in our conscious thinking. Listen as I repeat the quote one more time. “Live your life so the preacher won’t have to lie at your funeral.”
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Reject Violence
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Outstanding Ones!
One of the most influential Americans in my lifetime was assassinated at the end of my 6th grade year in school. It was an act of lethal violence against a man that believed in peace, lived for peace, and won an international prize for promoting peace. The man was Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a Christian minister who fought for the civil rights of all people. Most middle school students have heard his “I Have a Dream!” speech or at least part of it. It is a great speech, and yet, you have heard me say before that the most powerful document for which Martin Luther King is known is his “Letter from the Birmingham Jail.” It is definitely an impact-like document. I rank it with “The Gettysburg Address” when thinking about the message delivered by Dr. King. I encourage all students to spend some time on-line reading the letter and thinking about what it meant then and what it still means now to you personally. Keep in mind he did not write the letter from a big desk in an office in a tall building. He wrote it from the basement jail cell in Birmingham, Alabama, and he didn’t write it to everyone. It was addressed to a group of white ministers in the town.
Several quotes that Dr. King left for us to remember him by are important to our country’s history. He won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964. His acceptance speech was memorable and especially these next words.
Man must evolve for all human conflict a method that rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
Each individual must make a mature decision to settle conflict in ways that are not tied to revenge, or aggression, or retaliation. Violence in any form is wrong. Physical or verbal use will make no difference, violence is not right. It leads to no positive resolution in our life. What Dr. King preached over and over was that treating each other with loving kindness would lead to better lives for all of us. Those people that mature appropriately, will recognize that truth. I believe that students in Sequoyah are maturing faster now. We have had a series of years where we are experiencing fewer and fewer violent altercations (serious fights). The only effect causing that fact is the mature decision making on the part of all of you.
One of my favorite pieces of writing comes from a letter written to people in Corinth, Asia Minor. It is the 13th chapter of First Corinthians. In fact, I like it so much that it was written on the top of my groom’s cake at my wedding. The reason I like it so much is that it reminds me of how I should treat people and most importantly how I should treat the people I love the most.
You may choose not to believe this next statement, but I assure you that it is true. I have never had a fight with my wife, Susan. We have been married 29 years and we have never fought. That’s not to say we haven’t disagreed on things; we have at times. But we have never become angry at each other. I credit the foundation that Dr. King spoke of –I credit love. The challenge for all of us is to think of loving-kindness as the best tool we have in our relationships with others.
Keep this in mind: Violence is easy to reject when you lead with love in your life.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Acts of Kindness
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Students!
Kindness is contagious! Kindness is contagious! Kindness is contagious! When you see or perform or receive an act of kindness, you are more likely to do an act of kindness in the very near future. It expands like the ripples of water when a pebble is thrown in a pool of water. Kindness is contagious!
When I was a kid growing up on the Central Coast of California, my brothers, sister and I used to go swimming just about every summer afternoon in an Olympic size swimming pool. For probably a good reason in the middle of the afternoon, the lifeguards made everyone get out of the pool for 15 minutes. We all stood at the poolside waiting for the okay to get back in. The lifeguards would always choose one person that would get to jump in first before anyone else was permitted to do so. We all wanted to be the one person because the water was smooth and flat and calm. When the one, lucky, chosen individual jumped in, the ripples went in every direction, and the lifeguards blew their whistles and everyone else jumped in the pool. The water that was so calm moments before was being splashed and moved with waves everywhere. There was a lot of laughter and excitement and energy and joy.
That is what happens with kindness. Ripples of it can send out a signal and turn into waves of it when more people get involved in simple acts of kindness. Do you practice being kind to others? Do you know that the more acts of kindness you do will lead to a better world for everyone? Do you recognize that the better you make the world now, the better it will be someday for children that you will have when you are an adult? Kindness is contagious!
I remember an act of kindness shown to me once when I walked into my office and there was a calendar with a quote for each day left on my desk. The quotes were daily thoughts and words of wisdom; and ideas on how to not sweat the small things in life. The gift was anonymous. Listen to one of the quotes that has stuck with me.
Although all acts of kindness are inherently wonderful, there is something even more magical about doing something thoughtful, but mentioning it to no one, ever.
I encourage you to be magical and do something thoughtful and kind this spring, and then mention it to no one, ever. Find acts of kindness that you can do each day so that your life gets better and better.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Hate Is a Brain Disease
Friday, March 16, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Brain Surgeons!
I know that you aren’t real brain surgeons, but you do have some choice on what goes in your brain and how it develops. You also have some choice on what ideas and thoughts should be removed. You can physically do good things to your brain, such as, eat a regular diet of fish. Some nutritionists call fish “brain food.” They are convinced that eating fish improves the health of the human brain. So besides improving the brain physically, it is unfortunate that a person can damage the brain. I have an acquaintance that destroyed his brain cells by “huffing” gasoline. He nearly killed himself and now lives in a slightly better than vegetative state. He knows his name and can recognize a few of his friends, but doesn’t even remember how to tie his shoes any longer.
Besides physically altering your brain, you can change it through intellectual exercises. Learning academic concepts and ideas in school improves your brain. Reading stories and calculating numbers will improve your brain. Memorizing quotes and scripture will improve your brain. There are also damaging anti-intellectual exercises. Practicing negative ideas like racism, discrimination, intolerance and impatience will lead to a harmed intellect. To be honest with you, if the damaging, negative ideas aren’t eventually held in check, the brain starts to warp those ideas in weird and scary ways.
Listen to this quote from a Will Hobbs book called The Maze.
After a certain point, hate becomes a brain disease.
It distorts a person’s perception of reality.
Just like the brain being harmed and devastated by the huffing of gasoline, it is destroyed and distorted by hate. The ability to have an accurate perception of reality is foiled. People can be convinced to do the most horrible things based on this incorrect perception of reality. The best examples in history come from the Nazi reign of terror during the middle part of the last century and unfortunately, our own country’s nightmare of slavery 150 years ago. Hate becomes a brain disease.
Just like huffing gasoline kills brain cells, living with hate stunts the brain cells from developing to their fullest. Being in a vegetative state because of dead brain cells is very similar to being in a figurative vegetative state because of undeveloped, stunted thinking fed by simple, ugly hate.
I encourage you to be a brain surgeon and remove hate from your thinking. It is a disease that we can all eradicate with the right energy and effort. The successes of ridding just our school of any hate will rest in our attitudes and desires to do so.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
________________________________________
Following the Law
Monday, March 5, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Rule Keepers!
Within the next four and a half years, some a lot sooner, all 989 students in this building will have the chance to receive from the state of Oklahoma the privilege and right to possess a driver’s license. With that identification card, you all will have a new sense of freedom. With that freedom every person steps up to a new level of following. You will all have a new set of rules to follow. They will be the same rules that I follow and your parents follow, and anyone else with a driver’s license. These rules will carry more weight than most that you are use to because these rules are called laws.
Will you be good followers? You can tell whether a person will follow laws based on how they follow rules as a kid. Those of us who keep from breaking rules as kids will keep from breaking laws as adult drivers.
I have asked this question before, and I will ask it again. Do you want someone driving a car in the oncoming traffic to be a person that follows the law or chooses to do whatever he or she wants? If they follow the law then they will stay on their side of the road. They will focus on doing it right. They will respect you and your right to drive and keep the law.
Good followers choose to be good followers; they can’t be forced to be good followers. The best teacher’s lesson for following is the lesson delivered by example. Here is an anonymous quote that reinforces this idea.
People are changed,
not by coercion or intimidation,
but by example.
The next question is this, what example do you set for others to see when it comes to following? Are you the kind of follower that a leader would want? Do you force your friends to follow you or are they following you because of your good example? These are tough questions to answer without thinking about the answers a little bit. I encourage you to give them some serious thought. For positive reasons, I want all of you to follow the laws. I also want you to set the example for others to follow that will end up making the world a better, safer place. It is not easy to set positive examples constantly, but it has to be done for our society to be successful and fruitful, and for it to continue. You have to focus on being a good example. You have to intend to do it always, even when you know no one is looking.
Here is a simple word picture of being an example when no one is looking. It’s very simple. I want my two adult children to always drive with two hands on the steering wheel and two eyes on the road. I set that example for them even when I am driving alone. I know that it is the example I should set because I want them to know that they should do it when I am not in their car as well. Hopefully you understand what I said and it wasn’t too confusing.
I challenge you to follow the rules. As you get older, I ask that you follow the law.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Following Your Heart
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Fantastics!
Maybe ten years ago or so, a wonderful movie was released called Braveheart. It has become one of my favorite movies because of the great story line, and in fact it was on television this last weekend. It starred Mel Gibson as a Scottish man named William Wallace. He was a simple man that wanted a simple value. He wanted to experience life as a free Scotsman. He believed in the God-given right of freedom. He followed his heart in the direction that led him to freedom. Because he was a good follower, he became a great leader of the Scottish insurgents. He was a faithful follower that became a faithful guide in the search for freedom.
The story began with his father and brother being murdered by the English rulers of his beloved country of Scotland. He went to live with his uncle and later returned to get married. The same English rulers were responsible for the murder of his wife. At that point, he made the decision to fight the oppressive rule of the land and seek his right to be free. He followed his heart. His example then generated energy and created other followers willing to fight for the same valuable cause.
They worked together as an army and defeated the English enough to remove their presence from Scotland. Towards the end of the story William Wallace was betrayed and turned over to the King of England. He was going to be executed. He did have a choice in the end, he could confess loyalty to the King and his death would be quick. If he failed to do that, then he would be tortured until death was welcomed. He chose a slow and very painful death. He gave up his life following the idea he pursued so willingly. In fact his last word, according to history, was a shout of one word, “Freedom!” His path led him to being made a hero by his followers. They followed his example completely when another Scottish leader, the Earl of Bruce, said, “You followed Wallace! Now follow me and fight for a free Scotland!” They did and were successful because they followed Wallace’s example of following the heart.
Now listen to this quote from sociologist Robert Kelley.
Hero makers understand that the strong pillars that support a group for the long haul are the exemplary followers. Power, vision, and success necessarily rest with these followers, who ensure that the idea continues even when the leader is gone.
How does this quote fit with following the heart? Wallace’s example led his followers to becoming heroes for all of Scotland. I challenge you to be an exemplary follower for all to see.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Observe the Open Doors
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Example Setters!
Do you ever watch the people who walk up to the doors of our school and they are not sure which ones are locked and which ones are open? Sometimes the people aren’t very observant. They pull on several locked doors before finding the opened one. They fail to observe the open doors even when someone else uses them.
Listen to these wonderfully wise words given to us by Helen Keller.
When one door of happiness closes another opens; but often we look so long on the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller was considered a person with wisdom based on her extraordinary experiences in life. Although she was made blind and deaf from a serious illness at the age of two, she lived a long life that made an incredible impact on many people’s lives. Helen Keller’s overall impact makes an even better reason for us to listen to what she has to say. Our media center has a well-written biography called Helen Keller – Rebellious Spirit by Laurie Lawlor. I encourage you to read it because of the inspiration her life has given to so many people.
What does the quote I used mean to you? What it means to me is that we often dwell on what doesn’t work out, instead of looking onward to what life is giving us. I have had a middle school student share with me once that sometimes, we just need to pay more attention to the door that will open soon instead of living in the past with the door closed. That was brilliant wisdom coming from a 13 year-old. Remembering this quote could make a huge difference in people’s lives, even if you were to reduce it to four words.
Observe the open doors.
Take your eyes off the closed doors that you cannot do any thing about and focus you vision on the opportunities ahead. Observe the open doors. That is what Helen Keller did for herself. The closed doors of sight and hearing did not deter her from finding success and happiness. She went to college and graduated from Radcliff in 4 years at a time when most women never even dreamed of a college education. Her junior year she was a published author. Her biography became a popular book to read and over 100 years later it is still one of the most read biographies. She lived her own advice. She observed the open doors. She wrote 7 more books during her life that included traveling around the world. She was a guest of kings and queens, presidents and governments of most countries of the free world. She lived to be 88 years old, and although she was blind and deaf, she became one of the more remarkable people in the 20th century.
Remember her wise words. Remember to observe the open doors.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Listening to Words
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Students!
How well do you listen to what others say? Are you interested in most things being spoken directly to you? How does your listening differ when a friend is speaking to you or an adult is speaking to you? Is there a difference? How about this? Is there a difference if your parent is talking to you or another family member? I guess one question summarizes all of the previous ones. Do you listen to different people in different ways in different places?
Listen to this passage from a well-written novel, Backwater by Joan Bauer.
The greatest gift Aunt Tib gave me was showing me how to really listen to someone. She said when a quiet person has been put in a family of big talkers you don’t have much choice except to listen hard to what others have to say. Quiet people can learn from others just by listening. But it isn’t listening passively when someone is talking to you. Listening can be very active once you get the hang of it. Look at the person’s face, hear their voice, see their eyes, and their body language, put your biases aside and the things you want to say next and just let them talk.
Did you hear the advice? I want to list the five points again.
1. Look at the person’s face.
2. See their eyes.
3. Watch their body language.
4. Put aside biases.
5. Put aside what you want to say.
The most important sentence is right in the middle of the passage that Joan Bauer wrote. Focus on it for a moment, and then put it into practice.
Quiet people can learn from others just by listening.
The best to practice opportunity for listening is in class everyday. I encourage all students and teachers to practice all five pieces of advice on this list so that listening improves for all of us. I will promise you that I will follow the advice as well. Better listening by all of us will make the climate at Sequoyah Middle School better for all students, teachers and parents.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Speaking Words
Friday, March 9, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Cougars!
One of the most exciting moments in parents’ lives is when their baby speaks a first word. It is usually a one-word sound. It causes enthusiasm and a strong desire to tell others. Your parents more than likely telephoned your grandparents to let them know that you spoke, and they may have tried to record it on tape. Parents want to share the child’s new skill with everyone who will listen. Speaking words opens all kinds of doors for a child. Speaking words tells a parent what a child wants. Speaking words will help a child explain things when he first has a problem or when he is sick; he can describe what is wrong. Speaking words becomes a powerful skill for all of us no matter what language is used.
Unfortunately, it has not always been positive words spoken in everyone’s life. Do you remember this line from elementary school?
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.
It’s a lie! It is a big, fat lie! In fact, it may be the biggest lie we ever learn and repeat. Speaking the wrong words actually can harm people. Wisdom says that words can cut deeper than a two-edged sword if meant to be used as a weapon. They cannot do physical harm, but they can and do cut into the spirit of a person. Why do people use words the wrong way? Why must some try to harm others with words? What causes the immaturity with words?
One of the ugliest and meanest uses of the English language sticks in my mind from a movie that was released over 15 years ago. It was extremely popular and I’ll bet that almost every student at Sequoyah has seen it. It was called Home Alone. Do you remember the scene at the beginning when Kevin wanted a piece of cheese pizza? His brother had eaten it all, and Kevin in anger accidentally knocked a liter of pop over spilling it on the airline tickets for their trip the next day. The cutting words were everywhere, but the line that I remember the most was from his uncle looking at Kevin and saying, “Look at what you did, you little jerk!” Sure there wasn’t any profanity, but the hateful way the uncle had said the words has just always stuck with me. They were ugly words combined with an ugly attitude.
Although I won’t tell you any of them specifically, there have been a few times that I have behaved that way. I was a lot younger, but I remember them because they stick permanently. One time was when I was 16 and I said something to my sister that I know that she has forgiven me for and she has probably forgotten it. But I haven’t.
So speaking words is a privilege that we are given being part of the human race. We communicate through spoken word for the most part. We need to use caution and care when speaking words though. We need to value others when speaking words.
I encourage all of you to weigh your words carefully when speaking words. When you are angry, follow my rule that I have kept for years now. Least said, best said.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
________________________________________
Strength in Cooperation
Monday, February 26, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Cooperative Ones!
Are you aware that the more that we cooperate with each other the stronger we become? Do you recognize that all of us can do so much more than any one of us individually? Do you give it much thought about what we could accomplish if we focused on working together? One of the best examples that come to mind that shows how true this is--has happened several times in our country. When a community has built a new public library within a short walk from the old one, they sometimes have moved the books one by one to a new shelf in the new building. On a given day, volunteers from the community have banded together and formed a human chain. They then hand books one after the other down the line of people and into the new building to its proper place of rest. Some have formed more than one line; some have moved three of four books in each hand off. One library in California moved 400,000 books three blocks in one day. It would have taken a half dozen library employees weeks to do the same. There is great strength in cooperation. Listen to these wise words from epic poet, Homer.
Light is the task when many share the toil.
Very simply, the work is easier when we all share it. There was a brilliant example of people working together to accomplish much in the newspaper last week. It was an article about football players from Oklahoma State University and the University of Oklahoma working together on a project in Lawton, Oklahoma. These athletes pitched in with a common goal of building a new house for a family. It was an “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” event. Almost a hundred athletes worked together to see this project through successfully. They just did what they needed to do to build this house. Vernand Morency, a former OSU running back was quoted in the newspaper. Listen to what he said about why they were cooperating with each other and working as a single group. “It’s a great deal when you can help put a smile on a family’s face and just letting people know that anyone can help regardless of what situation you’re in.”
The Daily Oklahoman also quoted OU football defensive end, Alonzo Dotson. He said “We wanted to show our support. Unity is the biggest thing in a community, and it’s really nice to see all these people come together. That’s why we’re here.”
Choosing to cooperate and be strong does not take away the right to be an individual still. We can keep our uniqueness and still cooperate to perform acts of being a team, acts of unity. Listen to how teacher and inventor Booker T. Washington said it.
We can be as separate as the fingers,
yet one as the hand in all things essential to mutual progress.
I challenge you to help find our strength in cooperation and to seek being as one. With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Fun in Life
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Fun Seekers!
One of my good friends has shared with me more than once that he believes that we were given the gift of life for many reasons and one was to have fun. It is part of our make up as human beings to be playful and enjoy humor. Fun is a source of enjoyment or pleasure, an amusing diversion in life. A person having fun is usually behaving playfully. What fun is not---is getting this enjoyment or pleasure at the expense of harming someone else. That is simply cruelty or meanness.
When I was sixteen years old, a couple of friends and I were looking for some fun one Friday night. We drove around town, stopped at McDonald’s a couple of times to visit with other friends, and eventually found ourselves back at my house watching some late night television. Around midnight we were still trying to find something fun to do and so I suggested that we go camping. They basically booed me until I explained that we ought go to our track coach’s house and camp in his front yard. They were curious at that point and asked me what I meant. I said let’s get the tent out and the other camping gear and go to his house and set up camp so that when he wakes up in the morning and goes out to get his newspaper, he is stunned to see the camp. They bought into it.
By 2:00 a.m., we had my Volkswagen bug loaded and were driving to the other side of town. This particular coach was one of our favorite people; he taught Chemistry during the school day and coached football and track after school. His name was Richard Ballou, but we fondly referred to him as “Cat Ballou.” When we got to his house the lights were out and the yard was dark. We drove past the house and parked down the street and lugged the tent and sleeping bags to his front lawn. The tent was the old fashioned kind with three dozen metal pipes that had to be put together just right to stand. As quietly as we could we assembled the big tent and by three in the morning we were spreading out the sleeping bags. We went back to the bug and got the lawn chairs and a temporary clothesline to hang some shirts and shorts. We brought a hand full of bricks and firewood to set up, but we didn’t actually start a fire. Thirty minutes later we got in the sleeping bags and tried to imagine what Cat Ballou’s response was going to be. We thought he might turn the water hose on us or pull the tent stakes so that the tent would collapse. Eventually we fell asleep.
A little before seven, we were awakened by loud laughter coming from a big man. We knew it was the coach. He came around stuck his head in the tent to see which of his athletes had set up camp. After some lengthy explanation and more laughter, the man said for us to get up and come in the house. His wife was making us breakfast. It would be a wonderful memory of his continued laughter during breakfast that my two friends and I would take with us from the experience that came about because we were looking for some fun. It was harmless and it created an amusing diversion from Cat Ballou’s normal Saturday morning activity, and ours, too.
One of the reasons we were given life
was to have fun and enjoy the experience.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
How About Humility?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Team Members!
One of the books I have reread recently is Why Settle? by Jonathan Sprinkles. Jonathan has established an innovative method that shows people how to L.I.V.E. like real leaders. He uses the guiding principles of Leadership, Integrity, Vision, and Excellence. He speaks to college students and public school students around the country in a series of workshops that he calls “Sprinklisms” that take a unique approach.
Jonathan Sprinkles has a wonderful outlook on life and enjoys sharing what he has learned growing up. The amazing thing is that he is not that old of a person. He is a recent University of Texas at Austin graduate and a three-time honoree of the African-American Culture Committee’s Top 10 Most Upstanding Men award. I would love to have him visit Sequoyah and present his perspective of each individual’s pursuit of being the best that he or she can be. He is highly motivational and his desire is to help people increase their capacity to do good.
The book Why Settle? is an A to Z guide detailing the virtues of intentional, focused, purpose-filled living. I may visit with you in my letters over the next year talking about these virtues. Today I want to look at humility. Humility is the act of being humble and modest. It is also not having to have the spotlight to enjoy who you are. Jonathan tells of New York Jets/Kansas City Chiefs coach Hermann Edwards stating what his initial goal was going to be with his team. Coach Edwards said, “My main goal is to get them to stop thinking about the name on their back and start thinking about the name on the helmet. Jonathan Sprinkles said it this way.
Teamwork is the answer to selfishness.
He reminds us that one of the biggest challenges is to get people to comprehend what teamwork means and what can be accomplished by it. We are in a society that likes results. It is performance driven and, in fact, it doesn’t even leave school children out of the mix. Students are given standardized criterion reference tests to perform and show that they are learning certain things. A fact about the OCCTs is that if the teachers and students worked together with the goal of everyone being successful on the tests, a high level of synergy would be exhibited by our school, and the socks would be knocked off the people that read the test scores. A shared humility or modesty can achieve great things. It requires of us to trust each other, to decide we are going to keep and share a common goal, and then be submissive to that goal.
This means that we perceive ourselves as students at Sequoyah, not a student at Sequoyah. It means thinking about how we can help each other, not out do each other. It requires that we work the extra effort to assist our friends and classmates. I encourage you to think of Sequoyah as your team. I challenge you to have the desire for “we” rather than the selfishness of “me.”
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Optimists Are Cheerful
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Great Ones!
Is there a difference between being happy and being cheerful? Here’s a comment about that from Alan McGinnis, a psychologist and author.
Cheerfulness is something we can control much more than happiness. We can choose to behave cheerfully in dismal or dispiriting circumstances, in part to sustain our own strength, and in part as an act of courtesy to the people we love.
A person who is optimistic is going to be cheerful even when it is not possible to be happy. I have watched students walk in the building almost everyday over the last 18 years. To be honest, not all of them looked happy about being at school at 7:30 a.m. Most people would rather be sleeping in a warm bed at that time. That is what would make them happy. Even though most students aren’t happy first thing in the morning, many of them are cheerful. When I smile and say good morning, many students smile and respond with “good morning” or “what’s up?” or even “hey, Edwards.” Why do I repeat good morning a couple of hundred times each morning? Because it impacts my disposition! A person can’t smile and welcome people to school that many times without getting a little cheerful about the day. At 51 years old, I need the kind of medicine obtained by saying good morning to people. You ought to try. You would be amazed with the different perspective.
You can use the “as-if principle” to create a cheerful outlook. That is acting as if you are happy about being awake early in the morning. That acting will kick into gear the emotional aspect, and you will find yourself feeling a little better about being at school so early. I see students at Sequoyah use the “as-if principle” all the time. They impact a lot of the people in this building, including me. There are actually students that I look forward to seeing each day because they have million dollar smiles. They exude an energy and excitement for life when they smile, and that energy is passed on to another person.
Caution! There is a built in danger to the “as-if principle.” You have to monitor it. That is that when a person acts as-if they’re cheerful more than actually being cheerful, then they become artificial and people see that as a fake or false front. Remember that people viewed as optimistic are also viewed as completely genuine.
I encourage you to choose to be cheerful. It will help you be optimistic. It will positively impact your feelings and your life. And maybe more importantly, it will positively impact the lives of others.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Follow the Leader
Friday, March 2, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Students!
When you were little, do you remember playing follow the leader? It may have been in preschool or kindergarten, but most of you played the game once in awhile. It was probably fun if there were three or four other kids, but it was fantastic fun if there were a dozen or more friends playing. The more followers there were involved, the more fun there was. That same truth is present in many aspects of life. Followers are important to our world in different circumstances. We are all followers. That is true on any successful athletic team, or for any sweet sounding band, or for any excellent school, or any community, or any army. Successful followers make successful organizations. In fact, some people believe that in order to be a good leader, you have to be a good follower first. What do you think?
Are there different types of followers? We should all know that followers go by different names. Each name identifies a small difference in each type of follower. Followers are called apprentices, disciples, students, comrades, loyalists, colleagues, and assistants. Let’s talk about the Greek word disciple. In schools, we usually connect it to the idea of discipline. It actually is translated as “one who is learning from a teacher.” In the ancient days, disciples would live with their teacher, share meals, and talk with them all the time. Most of you are probably relieved that things have changed. You don’t have to live with your teachers and your teachers don’t have to live with you. Your experience as a public school disciple is to have a certain body of knowledge passed to you from your teachers. This includes a certain agreed upon body of behavior lessons.
When we look at discipline at Sequoyah we are trying to teach a behavior that is acceptable to our community. Some students learn the expected behavior easily. Some students struggle with the behaviors that our community desires. But they eventually come around to following the expectations or they face consequences. Sometimes the expectations evolve; they slowly change. An example is when I was a 7th grade student I received a paddling from the assistant principal because I didn’t have my shirt tucked in. At that time, parents and teachers believed boys should wear their shirts tucked into their jeans. I was given the clear message that as a follower, I was to keep that rule, and I did from that day on in school. Followers learn from their teachers. What makes people great followers? Listen to this quote.
Followers at their best, participate with enthusiasm, intelligence, and self-reliance—but without star billing—in the pursuit of the group’s goals.
Followers are not just passive sheep. They are linked together by their individual decisions to make a personal dream or a common, shared dream become a reality. We are all followers of a common dream about our school. I challenge you all to step up and learn to be great followers, so that one day you can be great leaders. Until then, follow the leader in front of you, and have fun at being followers like you did in the early childhood game.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
________________________________________
A Parent’s Correction
Monday, February 19, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Wise Ones!
From the age of five until about ten, I lived on a farm. My dad farmed wheat and alfalfa and ran a few cattle. It was a great place to grow up and my brothers and I had our share of wonderful adventures. My parents set some definite rules that were to be followed, with no exceptions. They were rules and guidelines that were meant for our safety and my parents’ peace of mind.
The one rule that we disliked the most was the one that prevented us from going down to the river. My brother, Mike, and I desired to explore down by the river just a hundred yards from the front of our house. It was a dangerous river with a soft bank, quicksand in some areas, and an abundance of whirlpools out in the water. It was known as an unforgiving river for mistakes that people made around it. We wanted to follow our father’s rule, but we also wanted the adrenalin rush that comes from being risky. We did follow the guideline most of the time.
One time, when I was 8 years old, we had friends over to the farm to play. We messed around the house for awhile, then we occupied ourselves out in the barn. When the topic of going to the river came up, we quickly made a plan. We told our mother that we were going out to the alfalfa field to run around. We did for about five minutes, then we headed to the riverbank. We climbed over a couple trees that had fallen into the river and looked for animal tracks and threw rocks and just had a blast. After about an hour we decided to dare one another to jump the four feet from the shore to a big, single rock. It looked like a rock island in the water. I finally gave into the dare and made the leap. Standing on the rock, I lifted my arms in the air and danced in a circle feeling like a conqueror. I yelled, “I am the king! I am the king!” As I spun around again, I looked up the river bank through the trees and could see my father standing there with his hands on his hips. My father didn’t have to say a word. I jumped for the shore, and my brother and friend and I took off running. I knew the only hope of surviving my father’s wrath was the protection of my mother. We had to get to her before my dad got to us. It was only a hundred yards, but it meant life if we could make it.
As we got to my mother, we hugged her waist and said that dad was coming after us. She simply asked us where we had been, and when we told her down by the river, she actually held us for my father. We gave up then and I assure you the consequences my father provided us, forever set the river bank rule in place in our lives.
King Solomon provided these wise words in his writings for us. Listen to them.
A person who is not wise rejects his parent’s correction.
But anyone who accepts correction is wise.
Because I learned to accept the correction and learned the importance of the rules my parents set in life, I have lived a good life. I encourage you to respond to correction in your life as well. It is the wise thing to do.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Listen to the Doctor
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Great Listeners!
Dr. Ben Carson is a graduate of Yale University and the University of Michigan Medical School. He is one of the preeminent brain surgeons in the world. He’s been head of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins University Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. He is an African-American man that has made a positive impact on his professional field of medicine and on his grateful country the United States. He learned from his mother to place an extraordinary value on education. At first, he did not practice that perspective, but his mother was after him all the time about his attitude and his effort. She would say things like, “Bennie, you can be anything you want. Just ask God for help. He will help you if you’ll help yourself by giving your best!” Once he remembers her telling about the wealthy or high-achieving people in the world and said, “Bennie, you can do anything they can do—only you can do it better!” She repeated the same message over and over in different words. That message was consistently stated. Always give your best! He reflected on that message as an adult, and he concluded that it was one of the secrets that helped him climb from “a nearly illiterate, black inner-city neighborhood to a place of prominence.”
Dr. Carson believes in the power of books, in fact, he says, “Although we can learn in many ways, I am convinced that books are the best source for acquiring knowledge.” He offers us three significant serendipities that reading provides us. First, he reminds us that reading activates and exercises the mind. It is like push ups or jumping jacks for the brain, it makes you intellectually stronger and healthier. Reading activates the mind like weightlifting activates muscles. Secondly, Dr. Carson says that reading forces the mind to discriminate. He points out, “from the beginning, readers have to recognize letters printed on the page, make them into words, the words into sentences, and the sentences into concepts and ideas.” The third significant serendipity that books provide us is that it “pushes us to use our imagination and makes us more creatively inclined.” It is a truth that the more active our minds are, the more agile and able they become. This chosen activity, reading, always results in better achievement by each of us when we practice it. Listen to this wise anonymous quote.
The mind once stretched by an idea,
never returns to its original dimensions.
At times, I see Sequoyah students and adults do a physical workout at the Aspen gym. I often see a person work out for over two hours. I wonder if those same people workout their mind by spending a couple of hours reading everyday as well.
I encourage you to follow Dr. Carson’s recommendation to read extensively because it will help you excel academically. His prescription is to read at least two books a week. I challenge you to follow it.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Listening Well
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Great Listeners!
No matter where you go to listen to people speak, I know the seats aren’t that comfortable once you have been there for a couple of hours. But I have been to speaking conferences, and church services, and school assemblies, and other major events where no matter how uncomfortable they are, the people continue to listen well. At our school we don’t have too many assemblies. When we do, the listening students are tuned into the speaker not just with their ears, but also with their eyes and body language. They are respectful to what he has to say. They hear the speaker and watch the way he provides answers. There are usually a couple of dozen students in each assembly that fail to listen and do not provide the speaker with complete attention. They fail themselves and they fail their school. Fortunately, the negative reputation a few of students set can be trumped by the positive reputation for all of us at Sequoyah Middle School. Listening is a choice we make every time someone speaks. Even while dealing with discomfort we can still choose to listen, and be respectful.
The psychiatrist that I quoted last week, Dr. Paul Tournier, wrote books called The Listening Ear and To Understand Each Other among many others. He makes this point in both of the mentioned titles. Listen closely:
We need to listen, not to reply.
We need to listen long and attentively.
He is specifically talking about the listening that we need to do to nurture and care for relationships. We need to listen more without the thought or plan to reply to the speaker, but instead listen for our own benefit. That type of listening is hard for most of us, but not impossible. It takes the concentration that comes easily when a person is wearing headphones. A person needs to listen to a voice as if the headphones are in place, cutting out any distractions or noise pollution. It is difficult, but I watch hundreds that are able to do it in the assemblies. It is always a matter of their own personal discipline to focus and concentrate on the speaker.
Dr. Tournier reiterates the message in the second sentence, “we need to listen long and attentively. This takes an intention on the part of the listener to be attentive. Again all of us can choose to be that attentive. When someone speaks to you and you are entirely tuned into a television show or a friend’s conversation on the telephone or the individual competition of a video game, you have chosen to be attentive and not distracted easily. It was your choice to be attentive.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Are You Gelling Yet?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Television Watchers!
What do you do when a commercial comes on during the show you are watching? Do you surf some other channels for one or two minutes? Do you leave the remote control alone and simply get up and go to the kitchen or your room for a couple of minutes? Do you mute them? Do you enjoy them and watch them? If I happen to be reading while the television is on, I always mute the commercials. If I am not reading, nor really into the show I am watching, the commercial triggers a surfing mentality in me. In fact sometimes I never get back to the show.
Billions of dollars are spent annually on advertising on television. Most commercials make a small impact on consumers, but every once in a while, they hit it big and make a major impact. In the eighties, one question could define a Wendy’s commercial, “Where’s the beef?” The question was asked by a senior citizen on the commercial, and by millions of people in public. That question became synonymous with this one, “Where’s the substance?” Businesses asked the same question, as did schools, athletic teams, and in one case a political campaign. One little commercial impacted our country dramatically.
There is a 4 year old commercial campaign that has a great one liner in it. I don’t think that it will have the same impact as the Wendy’s commercial, but it is a great one-line question for middle school students. It has been used in many settings, but my favorite is when a fender bender accident occurs. One guy gets out of his car and immediately takes the blame for the accident, and just a second later the second man says, “No. no, it’s all my fault.” The two men look at each other and ask at the same time.
“Are you gelling?”
They then respond with ‘I’m gelling, are you gelling?” And although it is a commercial for Dr. Scholl’s footpads, the point is that they aren’t going to let a fender bender make their lives uncomfortable. I watch the video cameras in the school and I see students bump into each other and simply go about their business and I wonder if they are in a sense gelling. They seem to know what they need to do to keep their life and their school day comfortable and on course. Every once in a while I see a student get upset over what appeared to be an accidental bump. He loses control and escalates his blood pressure and gets overly excited about nothing. He obviously is so touchy that he isn’t comfortable with his day at all. Those are the kind of students that I wish were gelling.
Do you prefer a comfortable day at school? Do you like a composed life? How about your friends, do they like you better, when you're gelling? That sentence will be with us for a few more years and it will have nothing to do with whether you purchase shoe soles, but everything to do with how you want your life to be. So I ask you are you gelling yet?
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
________________________________________
Writing Is Important
Monday, February 12, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Writers!
I have always believed that writing is important for everyone. We all approach it a little differently, but we all do have the ability to write in order to communicate clearly and to express our ideas. I have read quite a bit of student writing over the years. I was once an English teacher and students were expected to write and turn in their writing weekly to me to be read and graded. I enjoyed what students created. Over the years, I have found many notes on the floors of the hallway, and as a matter of practice, I choose not to read them. I just throw them away or shred them, and yet, I am amazed at how lengthy they can be.
Writing is a skill that we all need and should be practiced regularly to be successful with it. Writing is important to our future job opportunities and security, even if all of the writing is generated by a keyboard, rather than handwriting. A few years ago young adult author, Graham Salisbury, visited our school and offered several suggestions to students and teachers about writing habits. We placed the advice on a book mark and I pulled it out this weekend and examined it again.
Graham Salisbury said that the more a person reads the better they will be as a writer. I had a college professor that said something similar. Dr. Bambas said, “If you want to write like Hemingway, you must read Hemingway and reread Hemingway.” Mr. Salisbury suggests several other ideas. He believes that we should share our writing with a couple of people that we trust for honest feedback and sincere, constructive criticism. He thinks that people become better writers if they save a list of some of the best passages they have read. I tend to do that with many of the young adult books that I read because of how powerful the writers’ words are. When I read some of the YA books I wonder how anyone can choose to not read this particular book or that specific book.
Mr. Salisbury also encourages students when they write to be concrete; to show and tell readers what the story is. When a person writes they should give pictures with their words and not try to focus solely on an idea. Word pictures enthuses the reader and energizes the writer. Students should also be willing use their senses in creating these word pictures. Another good point is for all of us to write what we know, but also what we feel. One tip that I have never followed, but recognize the value, is to read your own writing aloud to hear your words.
This is the most important point that Graham Salisbury made about writing.
Don’t wait to be inspired.
Write everyday.
I completely agree with this final point. I write a little every day and some days I write several pages. I know how it has impacted my life to practice writing, and I strongly encourage you to do the same. Please practice writing. Get yourself a college-ruled, notebook and just make entries every chance you get. I write only for myself for the most part, but I do hope that my great-grandchildren will get to know me 75 years from now based on my writings. I will be long gone, but maybe my words will still be around for them.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
To Understand Each Other
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Terrific Ones!
How often have you heard someone use a phrase like this, “She just doesn’t understand me!” or “There is no way that he understands what this means to me!” Do they sound familiar at all? Now picture in your mind the person saying the phrase. Is it an angry friend? Could it be an upset parent talking about their middle school age student? What is the possibility that the person you see with your mind’s eye, looks like you?
We, as humans want to be understood. Sometimes, so much so, that we fail to understand the very person we desire to understand us. Listen to this quote from doctor/writer Paul Tournier.
We must be reminded that the first condition for
mutual understanding is the desire for,
the seeking after, and the willing of that understanding.
What we should always seek is not just being understood, but finding mutual understanding. Your parents and teachers should have the desire to understand your position, but just as importantly, each of you should have that same strong desire or intent to understand what their stance is.
Each of us should actually seek to understand the other person first. If we are successful at that effort then it is much more likely that our own thoughts or ideas will be accepted and understood. I know it is difficult to put aside our own arguments, but if we want mutual understanding, then we have to lay aside our statements and concentrate on our listening responsibilities and ask the right questions that help us reach a clear understanding of others.
Now all of that is easy to say, but much more difficult to do. That is why we all have to make a conscious effort to do it. In other words, we have to actually think and ask ourselves these two questions, “Am I seeking after what this person is saying? Am I willing to understand her point first, before I attempt to make my point?”
I personally have to remind myself these two questions often, especially when I am dealing with someone who is emotional. When I have a student that is upset to the point of tears or angry and unable to explain herself clearly, I have to remember these two questions. In fact, I will let you in on a secret. I have the two questions on display in my office to remind me.
I encourage you to always practice understanding the other person first, and it really does take practice, but it is well worth it.
With words that I would like you to consider and reflect upon, make yours an exceptional life – or not. The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. Please choose wisely.
Are You an Optimist?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Good day, Sequoyah Cougars!
Are you an optimist? Do you know people who behave optimistically? What kind of outlook do you maintain? We all have an idea what an optimist is like and maybe our thoughts are more in line than different. Listen closely to this quote from American writer and philosopher, William James:
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
Do you have any idea what that means? Have you ever wondered why some people are challenged by their problems and others are overwhelmed by them? Some people are tough-minded optimists. They don’t necessarily know that they are, but they do approach problems differently. Optimists are more than likely average in intelligence and looks, but they know how to motivate themselves to accomplish difficult tasks. That includes unexpected problems. They know how to unite their group of friends in a positive manner to achieve positive outcomes. They tend to smile more. Get this, research shows that they also do better in school, have healthier lives, will keep jobs longer, will maintain friendships and other relationships longer, and possibly even live longer.
William James statement says that by exercising choice in the way people react or respond to things they control the direction of their lives. They alter their lives to become better. It doesn’t mean that they don’t see a seriousness to their problems. They do, but their perspective of how it fits into their overall life is fine-tuned. They realize that life does have good times and difficult times. They respond so that they can experience more good times more often than bad.
Here is another quote important for us today.
Life is not the way it is supposed to be.
It’s the way it is.
The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
How do you cope with life? My hope for each of you is that you will all be optimistic about your own lives. Most of you have 70-80 years of life or more left and you have a ton o
 -Melodic Time- · Mon Jun 16, 2008 @ 05:02am · 0 Comments |
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The Journal Of DOOOM! 
