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So this summer has been totally hecktic!
But my bf and I have been going out for almost 9 months!
I think that I am really starting to love him...
But everything is so crazy.
I mean I still have feelings for my ex gf but they keep growing weaker the longer that I'm with him.
And even though he claims that he doesn't, I do think that he still has feelings for the girl that he used to love but never got....
And even though he doesn't realize it....every time that he's around her he flirts with her.
And yea it does make me feel jelous I mean he tells me that he likes me a lot.
Like, but not love.
That after this girl he doesn't think that he can love me.
But he really likes me.
And plus he doesn't trust me.
He always thinks that I'm lieing to him in some way or another or that I'm not telling him something.
But I can't help loving him....
I guess some part of me thinks that if we are together long enough, maybe he will start to love me.
But it's really hard to hear him carelessly say that he does because when I ask him if it's true he says no.
It hurts I guess.
Also, there's this whole thing about his past that he never tells me.
I mean he thinks that I'm gonna like tell someone or something.....and that kind of pisses me off.
Because it really makes me feel like I don't really know him at all and it makes me feel really stupid for loving him because I never do that.
I mean with Emerald we had a year of being friends that we just talked and figured each other out.....
It feels wrong not doing that with him....I mean he knows so much about me and I know almost nothing about him.
He knows the dark secrets of my past that I only told Emerald.
And I mean I seriously think that he's gonna tell someone....So I'm always worried about it.
I don't know.. I guess things are just crazy.