Oookay... so, I'm currently reading one of the many lists of "reasons not to be veg*an". Of course, they are all sarcastic and not meant to be taken seriously. These are submitted by people who have annoying/weird/stupid things happen to them.
Here's some "funny" ones/too true:
80. Having my youngest ask me if I want his vegetables.
83. it never fails that guys always get offended that you don't eat meat if you are a girl and try to tell you that you are malnourished- and if you are a guyvegan then you must be gay
95. Being told "You can pick the meat off." In exasperation, I once replied,"Well, for me that would be the same as if I crapped on your food and told you you could just pick it off. Would you?"
99. I've come to realize that just because someone claims to be a vegetarian doesn't mean that they actually are. They just eat a lot of vegetables, and somehow don't associate chicken and fish with "meat".
102. You feel like you should have a memorized index of recipes, environmental statistics and health facts to draw on in every conversation. How many omnivores get asked what their typical meals are? And how many of them are quizzed on their balance of nutrients or eating ethics?
105. The fact I'm 14 and already worried about my future mate's eating habits.
110. Actual conversation: Friend: why don't you just eat meat? Me: "Animals are our friends, and I don't eat my friends" (*That's George Bernard Shaw, folks) You can't say you're a friend of animals and then eat a hamburger. Friend: Well, plants give us oxygen. So if you eat plants, that must mean you don't like to breathe. No sarcastic comment necessary.
122. People in your church (or mosque, synagogue, temple, etc.) tell you that "God told us to eat meat."
130. When the same people ask you "when will you start eating meat again?" each and every time you see them. Their mouths always drop when you tell them "NEVER!"
136. Because throwing "food" out of your hospital room's door when they bring you bacon and eggs for breakfast upsets the staff. (True, after the third time I told them NO ANIMAL PRODUCTS.)
74. It is really annoying when you get done with The Lord of the Flies and your English teacher says he doesn't know how they lived for so long without meat.
70. When the client you are working for hears you are vegetarian, he says,"Oh, what about your husband. Is he normal?"
^There were more but I don't feel like skimming back xp
I've got something to say about these:
84. that cows like to be milked (would YOU liked to be milked by a different species and separated from your young after they are born?)
Wha-How does someone figure that cows actually enjoy being milked...? *blinks confusedly* Are they perverted..? Do they think it's like an... orgasm for the cows? I just don't see how they could enjoy people pulling/squeezing their utters and having their baby taken away. Hmm maybe it's just me. *shrugs*
86. One of the most irritating comments addressed to me is "isn't it cruel not to milk the cows, though?"
Uh, no. It's cruel to milk them.
91. My French teacher forces the class to watch videos of the Paris marketplaces. I sense that this is a good time to ask to use the restroom....
Teachers are just soo wonderful, aren't they?
112. The fact it may occur to those slow-witted carnivores to sing: "Oh, I wish you'd eat an Oscar Meyer wiener..."
eek *clears throat* Ah, I don't know about you, but that sounds wrong on so many levels.
138. you hear about once or twice a night from your mother "You're on your own...I'll support a vegetarian diet happily but not vegan. You guys are extremists."
Ughh I know what they mean! My grandma, and other family members, where just shocked at how "extreme" a step veganism was. Which I knew they would be. That is why I went from meat-eater, to pescetarian, to vegetarian, and finally vegan.
144. having resorted to carrying around a list of why I am vegan and common questions with answers so that if anyone asks me anything involving my diet choice I can just hand it to them then casually ask them when they are done if there are any points that they find unclear.
lol I should definitely do this!! I can't remember every reason as to why I'm vegan. And if I do, I can't remember all the facts on the subject or where I received my info from! This method might be kind of rude, but don't you think it's also kind of rude always being questioned about my diet?
Oh, and if anyone is actually reading this and you have questions about the milking process, please go HERE
I'm starting to think the actual creator of this account has died. Kidding. But where is he...? *starts singing "Oh Where Oh Where has My Little Dog Gone", but edited a little*
Xx_Forever_Loveless_xX Community Member 
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