When you lost in the memories
When your stuck in her promises
When you know she just lied
When a little piece of you just died
When its a chronic pain
When life made a change of your usual lane
Then you know thats the time your heart stops
The things i hold in my hands against my chest
the things i hold close... They all made their drops
Fake blood dried and crusted on my vest
It is nothing now nothing is nothing for now
To struck and too stunned to have a cow
Acting cool but crying and thrashing in your heart and mind
Screaming loudly in your head temporarily makes you blind
The feeling of sitting alone in the road holding a sign
it reads "lost in the corner of Lost and Love!" and it repeats even though your tryin'
Trying to find away out but they make no map out of this place
I find it easy to take a drink.... clean or lace
Then slip into the void and crawl into another's crime
But not this time, not in this rhyme
Not in this moment, not in my movement
Not in this asylum, not in this fruit of abuse... lime...
Not in this crying sphere of lonely depression, not in this episode of improvement
I saw anothers eyes though closed... they opened mine
I am an uncle of a niece and now in this fine world of mixed message wine
I must go forward i have to be someone
I have to put down this gun
Stop being hard on myself... its a addiction worse then smoking
To stop is like choking
I need to put myself down but I must stop this behavior
the depression will never be my savior
But I hate myself god damn you I hate myself, Hate ME
Though I know what you all see and hear when you see me, I know your all reading
This bi-polar riddle.... this pool of mixed messages... just like how she was
She drank, she loves it, she hates it, she wants a child, mine she was
She wanted me, she wanted me to leave, she wanted me to stop
She wanted to continue, she held me tight, she kissed me, now she drop
she drop me in to this, she left, though she is still going to be
be my friend friendly.....
I am a fiend, Fiending hatred, depression, cancer, love...lust
These I find as a must
I seek them from myself and others
the ones who leave me tearing after they are done with my smothers
The way they look at night can be soo cruel
The way I look at night is like awe
They way they use me as a tool
Just like a bear attack... my emotions are in a maw
No sympathy please or it will make me cry
my mom beats me and my dad is barely there, but I try
the way the ones in my life look at me
they all stare... hatefully
But don't remeber this.... I took their lives...
I was born...... drinks full of knives.....
Death has me between his thighs
No need to treat me with his scythe
I'm not equal to you all, sitting, eating... at a separate table
Till my step mom says I'm able
Able to not be a monster
I'm a MONSTER!!!!!!!
DIE MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meltone_Revenants Community Member 
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