I think I'm still in love with someone I shouldn't be, and I can't get this person out of my mind. Worst part is, I think this guy makes me feel more like a man that my boyfriend. Now, don't get me wrong, my boyfriend uses all the right words and really knows how to make me feel beautiful and alright with my body, but he doesn't make me feel masculine. He just makes me feel. Gender doesn't come into play with him, he doesn't look at my gender/sex, and I'm starting not to either. Normally that would be fine, but all this stress of his coming down getting pushed back and back and then eliminated completely is just making everything worse. My dyshporia came back last night, and I hated my v****a again. I couldn't figure out how the crap I ever let him stick his c**k there, and I cringed when I thought about it. I'm trying to cling to every scrap of masculinity I can get my hands on, and that brings us back to the guy I shouldn't be in love with, and why I think about him so much.
Plus the fact that my boyfriend's phone died and I can't talk to him at all. Ha, this is just getting worse and worse.
 Lexenos the Gypsy Bard · Wed Mar 04, 2009 @ 07:16pm · 0 Comments |
