Hun, you can't change the things that are set in stone. You're going to have to accept it and move forward. In the end, you'll know why something happened, but if you don't press onwards, you won't ever learn why.

A long time ago, I wrote something in a fanfic that I still believe in today.
Quote:
“It’s okay, I’m sure Ash means good, and I have tried searching for Poliwhirl with my Pokémon, but they couldn’t find him.” She stops crying and dries her eyes with her hands. “Besides, it’s all in the past now. I’ve learned to grow from it.” She then gets up. “And, if that hadn’t happened, I probably wouldn’t be where I am now. Sometimes things happened that we don't like. We learn to grow from them and there’s always a reason for them.” She turns to look at all of her Pokémon. “I’ve learned from my happening and found the reason for it.”

Can you believe that, even before something really bad had happened, I already had the resolve to stand through it at the age of twelve? If you don't see things through to the end, you won't know why you have to suffer. We don't know the answers at birth, but we learn them at the time of our death of a long, experienced, and scarred life.