I swear there is a mental block on my mind. I can't talk straight, think straight, and if I was walking I probably wouldn't be able to do that straight either. Today was better than last night, but I have avoided thoughts of that as much as possible throughout the day. I don't really know where I stand anymore except for being in love and it being unreturned. Anything past that and I have no idea. Even simple yes or no questions confuse me right now.
Maybe I just need sleep though. Getting six or less hours a night is starting to catch up to me in the worst way possible, and band camp starts in six days. Only six days... Wow. A week of band camp, a week off, then school... And it all begins. It's my final chance, I can't repeat classes if I fail them. The last stretch of high school... And then I hope to get out of here as fast as possible. But I have nowhere to go. Days go by... Life goes on... Another night I lay my head down on my silk pillow and think about how I wished a lot things could be different, then cry over all the things that can't be. I'm probably not making things easier for myself, but it doesn't look like things are getting easier anyway.
I need positive signs. Better signs than what I have been getting. Stop and yield don't work too well after awhile. I get reckless and do reckless things. One decision I could make right now could throw me into a wild, nearly permanent adventure. Or I could ignore it and dream at night how things would turn out if I had made that choice. But I think I've made enough dangerous and hurtful decisions lately. Keep me out of trouble, don't encourage it. Keep an eye on me, and guard my heart. It could end up stolen or even more broken than it is right now.
Maybe I just need sleep though. Getting six or less hours a night is starting to catch up to me in the worst way possible, and band camp starts in six days. Only six days... Wow. A week of band camp, a week off, then school... And it all begins. It's my final chance, I can't repeat classes if I fail them. The last stretch of high school... And then I hope to get out of here as fast as possible. But I have nowhere to go. Days go by... Life goes on... Another night I lay my head down on my silk pillow and think about how I wished a lot things could be different, then cry over all the things that can't be. I'm probably not making things easier for myself, but it doesn't look like things are getting easier anyway.
I need positive signs. Better signs than what I have been getting. Stop and yield don't work too well after awhile. I get reckless and do reckless things. One decision I could make right now could throw me into a wild, nearly permanent adventure. Or I could ignore it and dream at night how things would turn out if I had made that choice. But I think I've made enough dangerous and hurtful decisions lately. Keep me out of trouble, don't encourage it. Keep an eye on me, and guard my heart. It could end up stolen or even more broken than it is right now.
