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Personal interpretation and a fight. |
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Personal interpretation means a lot to me. I base everything off of it. For example, religion. If you believe it, then it's true for you. Sure it has it it's limitations. If a blanket is green, it's green. You can't believe it's blue and make it so. You can't bend solid facts, but stuff like meaning is up for grabs.
For example, a discussion I once got into (because I can't think of anything else right now). Sexuality. Love can make you do a lot of stupid things, it may make you think someone's pretty when, if you didn't love them, they might not be attractive or even might be ugly. This happened to me with an ex. This person was a male-to-female transsexual, but hadn't realized it when we started dating. So I thought I was dating a guy, which lies within my sexuality. By the time she realized, I loved her too much to stop dating her for that. I loved her person, not her ideal body. It was an online relationship, so we talked with our ideal bodies in mind. She showed me pics, I thought she was adorable. We cybered. I enjoyed it. But because I loved her. I loved her personality, and in turn her body. When she started treating me like crap and I realized it, her ideal body became unattractive. I looked at the pics she gave me and I thought she was ugly, and wondered how I could ever have liked that. This was further proof that I wasn't attracted to her, that I was still gay even though I dated her. Someone else, however, said that since I was attracted to this person at one point, that I couldn't be gay. Well, it wasn't directed toward me, but formatted in a general statement. It was brief, so I'm not really sure how deep that statement ran, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm blaming this person for anything. It's just an opposing view. Not even a bad one, just an opposing one.
I got into another altercation with this person recently over my use of the word "retarded." It should be obvious why people don't like the substitution of "stupid" with "retarded." I don't relate "retarded" to mentally disabled people, even though the general meaning is related. Here's where my personal interpretation comes in. Because I don't mean it to relate to mentally disabled people, it doesn't. Period. I use it's old definition, "slow." I guess I get the definition from my years of music and the terms "ritardando" which means slow and "ritard" which means to slow down. I combine "slow" with its meaning "stupid" (i.e. when someone's slow to get a joke) and I use retarded to describe similar casual situations, as well as things that I find genuinely stupid, such as Norm's dad's b***h girlfriend and her retarded attitude, or any general a*****e statements.
This other person doesn't count out it's socially accepted definition, and counts my use as a huge insult. Fortunately, this person is very logical and doesn't start fights out of nothing, so I could have said "I'm not going to stop using "retarded," and I don't want to fight, so let's drop it." But since I'm so retarded (yes, insanely accurate here) after I say to drop it, I add an edit in to explain why I'm not wrong and how I think about it, but in trying to keep it short it ends up just not explaining anything and making everything worse. I realize how hypocritical that was and what a stupid mistake that was, so I give a few thoughts on whether I should delete the drop it part or what I should do to make it less assholish, but I soon get distracted and forget it.
Sure enough, this person got really pissed at my hypocrisy and left a long post that I plan on ignoring because I don't want to feel like I need to respond and protect my integrity again and make it even worse. I'm hoping that it will end if I don't respond.
I really think the different way we look at things is really gonna get in the way. Meh, that thread's generally dead anyway and I've been wanting to quit it and get it off my subscribed list for a while now, this might be a good opportunity to avoid conflict.
 Lexenos the Gypsy Bard · Sun Aug 09, 2009 @ 12:42am · 0 Comments |
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