Hmm, yesh.
So finally, finally I'm with someone...
But there's still a problem.
I am terrible in the ways of the girlfriend. I'm not at all good at this.
I'm still a bit skeptical about love and stuff.
I'm afraid that if I open my heart to him, I'll be crushed.
...
I really wish I didn't think like this.
When I see my friends get all mushy, I still think that its stupid to let their hearts be so open with them.
And then when I get mushy, I suddenly reel myself in again and close the doors again. I'm still afraid.
I'm still trying to let myself go with this. But I can't!
Things are so different now. Someone's telling me they love me. Not in a family or friend way but...
In that way.
I love it.
I love it love it love it.
I love him.
And I can't even show it. I try to, but I just mess up in some odd way.
Is it horrible? Is it horrible how I am still afraid of being hurt by this? Taking this chance?
I know, I shouldn't be thinking about him this much. Lord knows he prolly doesn't think this much about me.
AAaaaagh!! I'm so afraid I'm going to mess this up somehow, like I might get him the wrong gift for his birthday or something or say something wrong or kiss him wrong or AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
This is totally different from my past relationships...Thats for sure.
...Ok, bottom line is, I don't want to loose him again. I've known him for 6 years.
We've been friends.
Hes been my best guy friend.
My crush.
And now hes...Hes my boyfriend. And hopefully something more.
No, I don't know if he'll be interested in me for long. I don't know. But...
I know this;
I love him.
At least, I think this is love. I don't want to be like those arrogant teenagers that go, 'Ooooh, we're so in love and we had sex so we're gonna get maaaried and blahblahblah and he purposed and blablabla!! KAWAIIIDESUNEEEE~!!!'
(No, we did not have...You know. Sex. >_< I'm saving myself for marriage.)
but...I still have that small hope that we will be together. I'm being idealistic here, because I've seen so many relationships that my friends have had that have gone downhill because of their rushing to 'be together forever', if you know what I mean.
Plus, I don't think neither him or I are ready for marriage. Heh.
Ugh. I shouldn't talk about this!
No, no, no!!
But...I still kind of get jealous when I see my friends with their boyfriends (Ex. my friends Ali and Laur, or Sami, or Blakie...&_& I'm sorry you guys! I know, I'm terrible...) because its like...They know how to be good girlfriends.
Seriously!! And when I see them with their significant other, I practically think; 'Now, why can't I be like that?!'
I can't help it.
I'm not the normal girlfriend, thats for sure...
I don't like talking on the phone.
I fail at pleasing him.
T3T he could have any girl in the world...
And he chose me.
And God, I am so happy he did.
I hope I can return all the things hes done for me and make him happy.
Maybe....Maybe someday I, can be the girlfriend I and he would want me to be.
I'm not going to rush anything, because I want to go SLOW. Does that sound so bad? I've been hurt alot before, thinking like that arrogant teenager, you know? And then it was like...My heart hardened to that. It got idealistic. I got idealistic. I just hope he understands that...I hope he feels the same way I do, and its not his...You-know-what doing the talking. Heh. HEH. HEHEHE, p***s. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. Oh, but I am so immature for everything else...
So finally, finally I'm with someone...
But there's still a problem.
I am terrible in the ways of the girlfriend. I'm not at all good at this.
I'm still a bit skeptical about love and stuff.
I'm afraid that if I open my heart to him, I'll be crushed.
...
I really wish I didn't think like this.
When I see my friends get all mushy, I still think that its stupid to let their hearts be so open with them.
And then when I get mushy, I suddenly reel myself in again and close the doors again. I'm still afraid.
I'm still trying to let myself go with this. But I can't!
Things are so different now. Someone's telling me they love me. Not in a family or friend way but...
In that way.
I love it.
I love it love it love it.
I love him.
And I can't even show it. I try to, but I just mess up in some odd way.
Is it horrible? Is it horrible how I am still afraid of being hurt by this? Taking this chance?
I know, I shouldn't be thinking about him this much. Lord knows he prolly doesn't think this much about me.
AAaaaagh!! I'm so afraid I'm going to mess this up somehow, like I might get him the wrong gift for his birthday or something or say something wrong or kiss him wrong or AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
This is totally different from my past relationships...Thats for sure.
...Ok, bottom line is, I don't want to loose him again. I've known him for 6 years.
We've been friends.
Hes been my best guy friend.
My crush.
And now hes...Hes my boyfriend. And hopefully something more.
No, I don't know if he'll be interested in me for long. I don't know. But...
I know this;
I love him.
At least, I think this is love. I don't want to be like those arrogant teenagers that go, 'Ooooh, we're so in love and we had sex so we're gonna get maaaried and blahblahblah and he purposed and blablabla!! KAWAIIIDESUNEEEE~!!!'
(No, we did not have...You know. Sex. >_< I'm saving myself for marriage.)
but...I still have that small hope that we will be together. I'm being idealistic here, because I've seen so many relationships that my friends have had that have gone downhill because of their rushing to 'be together forever', if you know what I mean.
Plus, I don't think neither him or I are ready for marriage. Heh.
Ugh. I shouldn't talk about this!
No, no, no!!
But...I still kind of get jealous when I see my friends with their boyfriends (Ex. my friends Ali and Laur, or Sami, or Blakie...&_& I'm sorry you guys! I know, I'm terrible...) because its like...They know how to be good girlfriends.
Seriously!! And when I see them with their significant other, I practically think; 'Now, why can't I be like that?!'
I can't help it.
I'm not the normal girlfriend, thats for sure...
I don't like talking on the phone.
I fail at pleasing him.
T3T he could have any girl in the world...
And he chose me.
And God, I am so happy he did.
I hope I can return all the things hes done for me and make him happy.
Maybe....Maybe someday I, can be the girlfriend I and he would want me to be.
I'm not going to rush anything, because I want to go SLOW. Does that sound so bad? I've been hurt alot before, thinking like that arrogant teenager, you know? And then it was like...My heart hardened to that. It got idealistic. I got idealistic. I just hope he understands that...I hope he feels the same way I do, and its not his...You-know-what doing the talking. Heh. HEH. HEHEHE, p***s. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. Oh, but I am so immature for everything else...
Community Member
Okay Linds
I might not know a lot about being a good girlfriend or guys x.x
But the reason why I ever had one becasue I dont take chances EVEERRRRR
Just stay home and shelter myself form life
you dont wanna end Like me because down this road is sad and lonely.
If you really love him you have to take that chance and open yourself.
OR YOU WILL NEVER EVER FIND OUT WOMEN!!!
Love is a risk we all have to take SOMEDAY
you are going to get hurt by someone
its a given
but you learn and grow form it
Just take the change linds xD
and Love isn't perfect that's one of the reasons why its so Beautiful but DEADLY
WHO CARES IF YOU DONT LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE
face to face is so much better
If he is dating you
I am sure that you are pleasing me if you are not
we wouldn't be dating you SILLLYYYYYYY
and is he pleasing you? is he a good boyfriend to you/
god I cried writing this X.X
I am a*****e x,x
*falls*