Final bell.
Final bell!
My hands began to act on their own, slipping things into my purse/schoolbag and such. I raised from my seat, waving goodbye to the librarian and heading to my father's office.
This became a new routine since school had started a week ago. Sure, the first few days were a bit hairy-but nonetheless, I couldn't complain.
There were just...A few things, I guess.
I was a Senior. Yes, finally that I've-been-waiting-for-this-year-for-11-years day has come to fruition by hard work and blah blah blah.
And now that it was here...It scared the hell outta me.
My two good senior friends, they're gone. A lot of my friends are not here anymore. Now I (along with the rest of the class) am the cream of the crop around here.
I'm supposed to feel domineering, excited, and relieved. (Though I guess that last one doesn't come 'til graduating...)
But I don't. I don't feel at all domineering, or excited, or even relieved!
Not being able to see my friends from the class of 09', not goofing off with my junior friends (I hardly have classes with them...Weird, huh?), people expecting so much out of you when...When you just want to be a teenager!
I feel like I'm growing up too fast. I want to slow down, but time won't permit it. I admit now, I took the time for granted. I guess it's getting back at me for that.
Thinking of my two friends, I send them both a text message. Simple, but to the point.
'I miss u! sad '
I hadn't seen Sami since school ended, and Lauren...Well, she was done youth group and I could hardly see her anyway. (That in itself is a long story, trust me.) I wanted to see Sami as well, but what with has been going on in her life...Oh, thats a long story too.
But it was weird. My junior and other sophomore friends...They were distant now. Only a few really were happy to see me.
I felt cold.
I don't like senior year. Or, not yet I guess.
I don't know if I'll be crying at the graduation ceremony. Maybe. Not crazily, but its not like back in the day where you never saw them again. Now that people have facebook, its easy to talk to others and keep in contact. Even phones, too.
Looking up from my thoughts, I snapped the phone shut to see two ex-seniors waltz in the building. I didn't know them very well, but I waved anyway.
They didn't notice and ran for my old math teacher's room. Or, shuffled and giggled; I think.
Suddenly, I felt angry. Where were my old senior friends? Don't they miss us? Don't they...Miss me? I shook off the thought. It was ridiculous to be mad at them. They're either out of town (or state...Or even country!) or too busy. "College is very demanding nowadays, you know," my sister (who was a senior last year) says to me almost everyday.
Yes, that's probably it. 'I shouldn't be so selfish.' I reprimanded myself, leaning against a locker. I listened to the happy bickering of the two girls and my math teacher-they were right next door to the locker I had been leaning on.
"There you are; ready to go?" My father's deep voice rang in my ears, shaking me out of my errant thoughts again.
Oh, yeah. I was supposed to go to his office...
"Yeah." I said, sounding tired. We began our trek to outside of the building and into the car.
"You ok?" He asked, my tone not very uplifting like it usually was.
"I just..." I looked back to the spot I was standing at, like part of me was still there-listening and yearning. "...You know."
"No, I don't know."
I looked up at the man that was my father, and then looked back down again with a soft chuckle. "No, I guess not."
"Tell me then. School already making you stressed?"
"You could say that."
I heard my dad sigh a little softly. "You're becoming more and more like Penny everyday."
Penny was my mother. If there was one thing in common we had, it was nerves. Though she was a bit worse than I.
"Maybe." I said, not really any thought or emotion put into it, either.
"Well, if you ever need me-you know where to find me." He said. It sounded a bit rehearsed. As I walked to the other side of the car to the passenger seat, I rolled my eyes. My back was turned to him.
"Yeah, I know."
I knew.
But he really wasn't the few I wanted to see. He wasn't what I wanted the most.
"I know." I repeated, opening the car door.
Oh, how I knew all too well.
Final bell!
My hands began to act on their own, slipping things into my purse/schoolbag and such. I raised from my seat, waving goodbye to the librarian and heading to my father's office.
This became a new routine since school had started a week ago. Sure, the first few days were a bit hairy-but nonetheless, I couldn't complain.
There were just...A few things, I guess.
I was a Senior. Yes, finally that I've-been-waiting-for-this-year-for-11-years day has come to fruition by hard work and blah blah blah.
And now that it was here...It scared the hell outta me.
My two good senior friends, they're gone. A lot of my friends are not here anymore. Now I (along with the rest of the class) am the cream of the crop around here.
I'm supposed to feel domineering, excited, and relieved. (Though I guess that last one doesn't come 'til graduating...)
But I don't. I don't feel at all domineering, or excited, or even relieved!
Not being able to see my friends from the class of 09', not goofing off with my junior friends (I hardly have classes with them...Weird, huh?), people expecting so much out of you when...When you just want to be a teenager!
I feel like I'm growing up too fast. I want to slow down, but time won't permit it. I admit now, I took the time for granted. I guess it's getting back at me for that.
Thinking of my two friends, I send them both a text message. Simple, but to the point.
'I miss u! sad '
I hadn't seen Sami since school ended, and Lauren...Well, she was done youth group and I could hardly see her anyway. (That in itself is a long story, trust me.) I wanted to see Sami as well, but what with has been going on in her life...Oh, thats a long story too.
But it was weird. My junior and other sophomore friends...They were distant now. Only a few really were happy to see me.
I felt cold.
I don't like senior year. Or, not yet I guess.
I don't know if I'll be crying at the graduation ceremony. Maybe. Not crazily, but its not like back in the day where you never saw them again. Now that people have facebook, its easy to talk to others and keep in contact. Even phones, too.
Looking up from my thoughts, I snapped the phone shut to see two ex-seniors waltz in the building. I didn't know them very well, but I waved anyway.
They didn't notice and ran for my old math teacher's room. Or, shuffled and giggled; I think.
Suddenly, I felt angry. Where were my old senior friends? Don't they miss us? Don't they...Miss me? I shook off the thought. It was ridiculous to be mad at them. They're either out of town (or state...Or even country!) or too busy. "College is very demanding nowadays, you know," my sister (who was a senior last year) says to me almost everyday.
Yes, that's probably it. 'I shouldn't be so selfish.' I reprimanded myself, leaning against a locker. I listened to the happy bickering of the two girls and my math teacher-they were right next door to the locker I had been leaning on.
"There you are; ready to go?" My father's deep voice rang in my ears, shaking me out of my errant thoughts again.
Oh, yeah. I was supposed to go to his office...
"Yeah." I said, sounding tired. We began our trek to outside of the building and into the car.
"You ok?" He asked, my tone not very uplifting like it usually was.
"I just..." I looked back to the spot I was standing at, like part of me was still there-listening and yearning. "...You know."
"No, I don't know."
I looked up at the man that was my father, and then looked back down again with a soft chuckle. "No, I guess not."
"Tell me then. School already making you stressed?"
"You could say that."
I heard my dad sigh a little softly. "You're becoming more and more like Penny everyday."
Penny was my mother. If there was one thing in common we had, it was nerves. Though she was a bit worse than I.
"Maybe." I said, not really any thought or emotion put into it, either.
"Well, if you ever need me-you know where to find me." He said. It sounded a bit rehearsed. As I walked to the other side of the car to the passenger seat, I rolled my eyes. My back was turned to him.
"Yeah, I know."
I knew.
But he really wasn't the few I wanted to see. He wasn't what I wanted the most.
"I know." I repeated, opening the car door.
Oh, how I knew all too well.
