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70 Things Enzo Must Always Remember. |
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1. I will not admire anybody's boobs out loud.
2. -Even Satu's.
3. When her papa glares more than normal and starts cracking his knuckles, he's not happy with me.
4. In fact, he's NEVER happy with me. I should probably just run away upon seeing him every time I do.
5. Or stand perfectly still. I hear his vision is based on movement, so if I don't move even a little tiny bit, he won't see me.
6. Finland, though, is a really nice guy.
7. -His cooking is not.
8. Nobody can cook as well as Mama or Papa or Moses. Even so, it's not very nice to tell them this.
9. -It's best to just choke it down, smile, and eat some real food later.
10. Unless it's England's food. The point is to be POLITE, not to kill myself. Besides, he must be used to it by now.
11. Nico does not appreciate me touching his breasts.
12. -He doesn't even know that they belong to me. I should let him be ignorant for a while longer.
13. Never allow him to doubt Yasu's love for him. In fact, just don't touch that.
14. -Even though she's hot.
15. Chicks don't appreciate being compared to each other.
16. -Especially when one or both are within earshot.
17. Satu is always the hotter one, no matter what. But that's a total given, after all. ~
18. First you pull in, then release.
19. I broke my finger in the sidetable drawer. I was not fooling around with anyone. I did not have any trouble with anything. Those are lies.
20. It's forbidden for me to touch any of my sibling's hair curls. Even by accident. Even though I'd never ever want to.
21. Even though Haruto is indeed a Bro, I must always ask before taking some of his almonds. Greeks are really scary when they're pissed.
22. I am NEVER allowed to touch the Chupa Chups. Ever. Unless I ask.
23. -Even then, I may not ask for more than three out of any given bag.
24. Just as I wouldn't want anybody drinking more than a small glass of my soymilk.
25. It's okay to ask Papa for alcohol.
26. It is not okay to ask Mama.
27. Papa's friends make killer drinks, and they are willing to teach me. Ask more often. It will get me hot chicks faster.
28. Making love is NOT generally defined as making a card for somebody you like.
29. You will not mention that you and your brother were doing it the other night.
30. -it leads to some pretty awkward situations.
31. IGNORE THE BREASTS ... IGNORE THEM, DAMNIT.
32. It's okay to sleep naked when you're at home.
33. -Not when you're taking an emergency siesta at a Meeting.
34. -Or anywhere else OTHER than home, or zio Feli's house, for that matter.
35. Oh, and 'sleeping with' someone does not mean you've shared a bed before.
36. Even though you do, you DO NOT sleep with Ezi.
37. -Or Nico.
38. According to the Bro code, it's illegal to have any relations with a Bro's sister.
39. That's why i'm not allowed to brag about kissing Satu when i'm around him.
40. -or mention anything involving Nico and Yasu. I think he gets especially ticked off at this.
41. I would not fill a bigger bra than Satu.
42. -Even though I totally would.
43. It's not okay to convince your little siblings that condoms are the French form of currency.
44. -Especially when we're visiting France.
45. Mama doesn't like zio Francis.
46. He also doesn't like Papa, zio Feli, zio Gilbert, Russia, Rome, kittens, or sunshine.
47. Some gelato will make him smile, though.
48. -His favorite flavor is strawberry.
49. Women are not weak.
50. Especially when armed with shoes, long nails, or your little brother.
51. Size does not matter in the least.
52. Except when boobs are involved.
53. When you cheat, you're really cheating yourself.
54. -Unless money is involved. And you don't get caught.
55. Papa is proud of me. I should remember that.
56. Just because it's dark, does not mean that the monsters under my bed will suddenly come out.
57. -Still, it's perfectly okay to clear the floor as quickly as possible.
58. -You never know.
59. Sex is not disgusting.
60. -Even though it totally is.
61. Still, that does not give me the right to ask about Nico's virginity in front of everyone (which is not recommended), throw the book through the window, lock myself in my room, or use hand sanitizer after touching all of the non-virgins.
62. This is called 'being a drama queen', and eventually Mama will get tired of it. That is never a good thing.
63. I will not cry when talking to Sweden.
64. I will not cry upon seeing Sweden.
65. I will not cry when i'm within fifty feet of Sweden.
66. For Satu's love, I must be a MAN!
67. Even though it's okay to cry when I'm scared, around her. She can be the man then.
68. Bros before hoes. The bond between a dude and a dude is simply sacred.
69. .. .. .. .. ( /gigglesnort )
70. IGNORE THE BREASTS, ENZO. IGNORE THEM.
 men getting pregnant · Sun Dec 20, 2009 @ 08:40am · 1 Comments |
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