when anger turns into temptation
Lots of times, i perform things that i do not think of at all. This is good in music performances and all but not in daily life choices. I just got baptized last Sunday 10/10/10= 42 and now Dustin wanted to get back with me. Idk if he'll read this (or anyone elso for that matter) but im gonna put this on here anyway. Our breakup caused so much discord throughout all our circle of friends. At first, i acted as if nothing happened (a new approach ive never tried) then all the "new power of freedom" started coming into play. All these guys to choose from but i didnt want any relationship especially one that was with someone who is with someone. yes i got someone into cheating on their gf of 9 months. someone that id known for 7 years..... so selfish am i. it started as an innocent foot massage (i was giving it to someone else) and that triggered the start. Since then, wed both have such vivid dreams. dreams that were more vivid for me than any in the recent past. And during and in between these times, everyone almost was telling me that i can do anything i want and so i did stupidly. Crazy... i was in complete LUST!! what was wrong? both us would not be able to answer
i hid these feelings from everyone something i never do......... I have the biggest mouth in the world even though any say i am very quiet. Now everyone knows and idk what to do but explain to the world that i will repent and seek forgiveness. I dont understand though why i felt no guilt or anything during this experience. Now Dustin wants to kill himself (dont know if hes joking) i cant believe i cause such chaos.... I am a destroyer that tries to be good. I make people im close to suffer while i make aquaintances feel like royality. oh... i need to not live in lies anymore or be so clumsy or cruel or disrespectful, undisiplined and selfish; i need not to act before i question or speed. I have many strengths but my weaknesses turn areas to evil.
 kuddly_kirara · Fri Oct 15, 2010 @ 01:05am · 0 Comments |
