Please....I want all the pain...all the crying..to stop. It has too. My eyes and head can't take it anymore....all the advil in the world can't even help me now. I want to go back in time...to the first words you said. That would make me happy again...a new hello...a new begining...can you really walk away completely? So that I have to say my first real love ended in tragety? With the little experiance I had....and it all had to end like this...why? I don't even have the good memories to look at to cheer me up anymore. Nothing. Its ALL GONE. I hope your happy. Because now you won't get to see what happens to me now. And I'm sure deep down inside you want me to be safe. But I feel far from that..I have no release..no one to go too...I'm drowning. All over a boy. I hate love. And I refuse to ever be with anyone again. Ever. You know..so I won't ******** them up too...or lie to them. But no one wants to ******** me anyway..and I'm just some stupid b***h....I HATE to say this...and I never wanted to....but I've changed partly because of you...and I think deep inside you know that too...I'm that same girl you met 2 years ago..and what I've become doesn't bother you? I can't trust anyone anymore..you were it. You lost that sweet girl...and I miss her too. But now I second guess everything. No one wants an 18 year old with no experiance. So ill just stay far away. Because that's what I'm worth. Nothing. Don't...try to talk to me....just..don't...ill just b***h at you. Go away..don't even try. I don't want to talk to anyone at all. So leave me alone...I'm not the same. Remember me for what I was..not what I've become. You never could hold me when I needed you too..but I wish you could have. I never could hug you goodbye..or give you a kiss. You could never see how good of a person I truely was. So just go the ******** away. There's millions of things you never appologized for. I'm tired or crying....im tired of everything.....you put ideas in my head...an you wonder why Id b***h...you don't even KNOW how you've hurt me with Nessa. I planned on leaving you the first time you had sex with her. THAT'S why I wanted to know. But I won't even get started on my status. Because I know how it felt when you hurt me. And I could never do that to someone else. I can't be friends with you. I should of seen that. You tore my heart up too..and I didn't know how to deal with that since you were my first real ******** relationship. And I can STILL ******** say I don't hate you....
Angry spew over....
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1000 Years
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