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Feelings involving other people. |
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I don't know why I'm letting this one stay public. Next entry will be private though, since not even Brittany knows everything I feel like writing down.
I'm dating again. It kind of came out of nowhere, but it's not unwelcome. The guy himself is a real step-up for me. He's an engineering student at one of the most prestigious aeronautical schools in the country, shares my sense of humor, is as cute as hell, and doesn't make me feel uncomfortable just by standing one foot away from me.
I'm happy when I'm next to him.
But at the same time, I don't really feel anything special near him either. I don't feel flustered, my heart doesn't race, and it's not necessarily exciting. I have no infatuation with him.
Then again, I haven't known him that long. Last time, it was the first time I had ever felt anything like that, and I had already been friends with the guy for a long time. I let such feelings get the best of me, and I ended up getting hurt.
This time, I have more control over myself. More composure. Besides, I read somewhere that love can exist without infatuation.
...Not that I love him yet. But if I do end up falling, I hope to not be weakened by it. And at this point, it's very possible that I could fall for him. He makes me happy. He told me something that I've wanted to hear for over a year now.
He named personality traits that I actually had, and told me that's why he liked me. "You're an amazing artist," "you're a good person" and "you're beautiful" were not among them. I hate hearing those reasons, because two are not personality traits, and one that is a personality trait is not a reason to like somebody, because almost everyone is "a good person". Granted, he did tell me that he thought I was a good person, and that he thought I was pretty, (and that any man who doesn't want me must be gay, hur hur. He said that. emotion_dowant ), he didn't say them as to reasons why he liked me.
He said, "You say what you mean, and you're brutally honest. You don't have a filter on your mind, and it makes you such an interesting person. I like that."
It really meant a lot to hear that. He probably has no idea. If he ever does tell me that he loves me, I won't ask why. I'll just believe him. Then again, I'm thinking too far ahead.
(His glasses are kind of hot.)
 Catuboduus · Sun Mar 25, 2012 @ 01:26am · 7 Comments |
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