Ok, like I said: I'm not worth a s**t to society. Yeah, if you haven't noticed I don't really think too highly of myself....never have and most likely...never will. I have this self-loathing thing going on that I've had in my mind since I was in second grade. It won't leave my mind for what ever reason.
Anway, i've been thinking alot lately.....about religon.....about death.....about me and what i've done so far with this pethitic excuse for a life of mine. What I have come up with, in my many many hours of quiet solidtude, is that the world would be the same even if I weren't here. Emo sounding right? Well I'm not emo and i've never once tired to take my own life.....i'm too much of a coward to do it that way. Besides that I don't think that self-mutalation is something I want to get into.
But truely, honestly, I really do think the world would be better off without me. What have I done in my time here in this world that someone else hasn't done.......or that someone else couldn't do better? What is there about me that is different? What is there for me to look forward to when I know there will always be someone who can supass me in what ever it is I love or treasure?
If you really sit down to think about it, if you really take the time to messure everything out. What is there that you have done that has contributed to the overall well being of this defiled planet?
While you ponder that, i'm going to bed! It's about three in the morning and my head is beginning to pound from lack of sleep and such.
-Jess
 lollipop-heart-stab · Sat May 20, 2006 @ 07:50am · 0 Comments |
