oh yes heart Today at lunch Nikki and i declared us kinky lesbien lovers! biggrin mwehehehe! it was soo fun.. the pot drops were awesome... and it was a pretty good day. the last 3 days led up to me making up my mind of getting out of my depression. eaither just around others and not let them worry, which would inprove me alot or just in total. make it go poof! which im hopeing to do. eaither way i dont wana be this way.. Its guna make me loose my friends... kayln proved that point to me... It cost me something great that i've always, and still do want ( Nick showed me this point... Its cuz of meh atitude we broke up it seems. do NOT quote that, its mainly a summary which is bad. )) And then lastly, Derick... we hung out alot one day, everything was going fine and we were chatting in my room when we came across my gothic apearence and started talking about depression and s**t... well, i found out he was always... deep into depression. i could never of been able to tell... and he did exactly what kat was so scared for me about! he just laid on the ground and stared at the ceiling for.. i duno 20 min, pretty damn quiet. at times he was on the verge of tears as he talks to me... i couldnt belive it. this really sent a message to me on how others feel... you never can tell until you felt it yourself. i dont want others to worry about me as i did Derick that night. we made a promise to eachother to get over this depressive state togeather. and im planning to do it, and help him as well. He really looks up to me... its something nothing can really replace... to know how you brighten someones day. yes, i've been told it many times. but its a bit different... when you see it in someones eyes and no words are told... and i just find myself talking about this endlessly now...so ill sush... heart i love everyone out there so very much. may i never scare you again.. inless its from insaity.
 playwithfire · Tue Jan 11, 2005 @ 04:43am · 0 Comments |
