YES ******** YOU!!!! >..<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --___-- no i guess i feel better.
my morning started like usual. I feel I'm missing someone I feel lost and ******** fed up with alot of s**t. .... I know I want NOTHING to do with ******** love I don't need it. -_- this winter will be a ******** cold one. I went to work like a zombie I kept waking up, may be cuz of Chu. I want him to get on that wheel at night as much i wanna sleep. so. phmnn...I feel ******** empty. I miss Bu. I miss him horribly. I love him. I don't want to put up or being put up for. Honestly, this frieday will be the end of IRL Angela as u know it. as Bu knew. I'm Done trying. I'm done thinking someone actually loves me. they all want somthing. and i DONT have it. Oh yes I woke up to Rene's text saying that he wants to choke a rooster. >_>'? yeahhhh...he is weird. I'm talkignabout him first because he is involved alot into my own bullshit. I kind of hate it. Monday someone did not believeme i worked so i was angry. There is noreasoning with my sences or his. anyways Rere offered me a ride and i decline...so he followed and and said what's wrong plz tell me. I said To go to hell...I want nothing I get nothing i said to leave me alone. he insisted and he stood there waitting till i faded off the street. Honestly i dont get it why he puts up with me. May be he REALLY does want me. Today though...he said I'm Poor I'm ugly HAHAAHAA I hope You find your savadorean to make u happy. i told him I wont be with Anyone who isnt salvadorean. he isnt. he was born here. so yeah. He told me all that he does is with NOT one drop of hope that "i will fall for him" he says that but i always feel bad. soon I'll stop talkign to him completely. Even if is not his fault. I feel bad. Why do people fall fro the wrong ones? the ones that dont even see u. Funy he loves me and I love someone else and i said that. anyways. He also say I dont talk to him my stuff anymore that he knows what it means. I hate to do that to him but really...i really dont wanna ******** put up with noone's s**t. so i guess u online people will have to deal with me. ha. liek i said Omar quit. His last day is friday. last day i'll see him is today. He....is is like my brother. he accepted me with my own s**t and said to me. that no matter what i should get respect and be happy. He made me smile soooo much ^_^ Omar and me... RIGHT on the same time he and his GF startign having problems I did too with my B/F...heh I mean Ex. it was incredible how much the SAME thing happened. His Gf is my a girl i talk to. she is proud as hell jealous and possesive. She is also VERY beautiful and fun FUN ^_^; though she drives insanely like and she gets like a ticket everyweek XD they LOVE each other so much but that pride they both had and unforgiveness led them to what happened this week. He quit so she would stay in the job he also quit to see if she would stop him and told her to make up a decission. If she wanted he would stay. she never replied. I saw him cry yesterday and today.
He said....Angela...she has EVERYTHING i OWN. She is the only thing i HAVE why the ******** cant she talk to me about it. He is a wonderful kid. He Honestly would NEVER cheat on her like anyother man. He is Innocent and loves her sooo deep and seeks her out like his own life. u know. My duty is to tell her Monday that He loves her and he will try to find her in the afterlife. I cried....I cried because this the same thing that will happen to me and Bu. I dont want him to go away. But i cant stay with him. so I will probably end up movin out or not talk to him again. because this situation we had is too much for me. I wanna study I want my mind out of love. I swear EVERY GUY that shows up on my face and ask me out WILL BE TURNED DOWN. I might if i live, Date when im 26 or 27. but for now. I'm done with anyone. My banana aske dme yesterday to go to a party with her in halloween but i think i work that day. Jose is also going with his GF and I'm not about to go alone. >_< I hate this sorta places lookgin like an idiot by myself then suddenly this dumbassed ask to dance and s**t. but i told her... "What if i swear a d**k costume..." she said she will be the p***y XD but hell no. I dont wanna get in trouble ^^. The way im feeling right now I would be drinking and leads to trouble. soo yeahh.. i didnt do s**t at work today and this girl Named Levita ish all up on my bussiness so she's ******** going down. next time that b***h wanna tell me some s**t about someone i'll be liike "none of my bussiness" >_> I hate gosips...w/e they r called.
I came home and erasing the pencils. on mideal's order. and they r [pretty good] but i felt asleep for like an hour or two. =_= I'm ******** up. But its better than to be crying. I guess. sorry to those who read this ^^; I'm blowing some steem so yeah. Thanks ----Angela
Okechi · Thu Oct 19, 2006 @ 03:19am · 0 Comments |