Well, Band gave my life back. No more practice, no more games, but Saturdays are still taken I'm afraid. I'm getting over the Flu that I was diagnosed with last Friday, and I've been taking this medication to fight the Flu, namely the Anti-Flu. But this medication is said to mess with one's head, which it did mine last night. It wasn't plesant, and if I ever have to re-live that moment, I'll hold my head much better, but still be stricken with fear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The nightmare was of no big deal to many of you. Heck, most of you would probably blow it off and say it's nothing. But I felt like my world really did fall when I woke up, my blood ran cold. I never want to lose you. heart Losing you would mean losing the one person who made my life better in the chaos that ensued with my parents. I've only held on so long because of you. In the fake reality of that nightmare, I felt like giving up. But if I was to ever give up, you'd give up on me... So I keep my heart strong. That nightmare... It scared me. I never want it to happen. Not now. Not later. Not in a million years.
We're going through a tough time, and this is one of the times I said that we'd fight together. 3nodding
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All seems to be calm at home now... Well, not really. Destiny and Dylan don't get along in the slightest, and mum is REALLY not liking that my dad drinks such strong spirits. It's causing a lot of trouble, and I don't know how much longer I can bear it. I wish everything was back to normal, but if it was, we wouldn't be together now...
I'm doing alright in school, brought home a 4.0 GPA for the first quarter. Wow, amazing. You don't want my grades. My grades make me hated. I just wish everyone would stop calling me weird and strange, and actually consider me normal... What makes me different than everyone else...?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This section I'm dedicating to the love of my life. If you don't want to read it, don't. That means you, Alex.
It all began 5 years ago this December. We've gone from a new friendship, to being enemies, to me being afraid but you meant no harm, to becoming good friends, to becoming great friends, to me falling in love, to you refusing, and then to where we are now...
We've had tough times, confusing challenges, but also wicked times, times that will never be forgotten. That one day will always stay in my mind, and quite possibly always on that back-up disk that we don't know which one of my parents read.
We've planned a lot of things. We've discussed a lot of things. And from those things, we know that we have a fun future ahead. But right now, I've noticed we have to get there first. I'm willing to get there, and I can't wait until we do. I'm not afraid of that nightmare anymore, because you reassured me that it would never happen, and I trust you with all my heart. <3 I love you, Ellis. Very, very much. And I know that you wouldn't have asked me to be with you if you didn't want it to be forever. We've both been though enough to know that.
May our lives be full of laughter that we'll share together. 3nodding
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I conclude this journal entry under the name(s) of Aeris, Ashley, Peanut, Turnip, Ashwee, Ashy, and my personal favourite, Miss Ashley Castledine.
Don't worry too much about that description, by the way... You've got plenty of time to tell me how you feel, whether it be written, typed, expressed by emotions or actions, or words. I understand. I've known you long enough by now. xp heart
View User's Journal
The Disacheivement Diary
My nighttime dreams and innermost workings...
 |
