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I havn't been on, but I feel like writing righ tnow.
Tonight, I havn't slept 'cause the lady staying here knew my dad real well
and we chatted. And, tomorrow I'm calling up a church I used to go to when
I was a kid, to talk to the priest dude father whatever. 'Cause, he was close friends
with my dad, that old dude. And he was the guy who blessed my father the night before he died.
I also found out my dad died not only on 4th of july, but the day he was baptized. I'm not religious and all, but still I find that weird. Anyways. I'm not going to bed tonight, 'cuase I won't be able to sleep.
My dad, though I've not known him like everyone or most people I should say knew their dads. My dad is my hero still, he had Hotchkins? Disease. Some kind of cancer, but he never comlained the 4 years he had it. He was always happy, making people laugh. Like I try to do, which is probably why i'm the way I am. No matter how much pain he went through, even the night he died, or morning I should say he was happy before he went to bed.
I'll be honest with you guys, who read this. I'm feeling bad right now. Not bad as in, terrible but I'm a happy sad I can say. Everytime I think of my dad I'm happy with a smile, but like a depressed person I guess.
Lol, I'm so much for some reason, in thought of my dad lately. Probably because he is the guy who has me wanting my future the way I want it, I'm calling people tomorrow, the church, and a stereo place. To talk to some of his old friends. I forget this dudes name, but he played for the NFL too, not a good team lol but he was on it. I've got to ask my mom about him tomorrow and talk to him too. Because I tend to enjoy hearing things about my dad, and I'd like to know what they knew or thought. Gives me more insight about it. I feel gay for writing all this, but it's been inside me for i don't know how long. I've yet to tell people this stuff personally so I'm writing it out here. Now you all know the basics of my dad I guess. Theres probably more. Like how he was as a dad before he got sick. Or at least found out he got sick. He'd take us to Mammoth to go hang out in the snow for a day. Oh, and another reason he has made me want a dad. Is while I was about able to walk he'd get me into soccer and baseball. And when I became age to play the games, is when he got sick. So he never made it to my games, but a few. So, I want to be a dad that gets my kid into sports or something when they're young, and be there with 'em through it all. Something I missed, that I can get back, and give to someone. 'Cause it's something not to be missed. Time with family, which I realized. 'Cause live can be cut short without warning. I don't even know what to write anymore.
Hope you guys are doin' good on gaia. I'll be on tomorrow since I'm off. Well Id on't know 'cause I might be out and about unless I find out when the church guys mass is. I'm going to feel gay for telling you guys this. But I'll say it just 'cause idfc anymore what people say. But, s**t like this. Either people talking about my dad, like this one marine dude did. (I whooped his a**, no joke. I'm not allowed over my family's house when he's over there because all we'll do is fight. Lol @ him for saying my dad deserved to die.) But, I'm tearin' up guys. (: Takin' me forever to write this s**t. LOL. And now the lady staying here comes in and has to talk about him moooore. Gay. Talking about how she thinks he's the bravest guy she ever knew. Only because of even through all the time of him having cancer, she'd always ask him how he was and he'd be doing great. 'Cause I know he wasn't even though I was young but he never put on a sad face. He used to fart and go, "Who let the duck in the house." Lol, I miss him. He was awesome. Well, I think that's all. If you think I've missed anything or have anything you want to know. Feel free to pm me or whatever. 'Cause I'm done hiding stuff.
Well, love you guys. See you around. (: