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Teacher: We're going to be watching a video today.
Class:
Teacher: Here’s the worksheet to go with it.
Class:
That awkward moment when someone reminds you that we had homework last night...
That moment when you're so tired, but you don't want to get off the computer.
When you can’t find your friends
That moment you pass your school on a weekend
When people stop in the middle of a crowded hallway.
Dear grades, get well soon!
I believe the word ‘studying’ was derived from the words ‘students dying’
When you hear a good a** comeback.
When someone erases the board while you’re still taking down notes.
What I want to do when people smoke near me.
So here’s how my math class works
What we learn in class:
1 + 1
Homework:
-55x + 47x
Test:
39048240x^2(3454x + 84) + 8343x(x - 454)(354 - x)
How I feel after I take a nap
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I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.
╔══╗♫
║██║Put this
║(o)║on ur profile
╚══╝if u love music
╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your
║╚╣║║╚╗ page if u say lol
╚═╩═╩═╝ a lot
37 Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at every floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else pushes a button.
10. Stare grinning at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg, how's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.
23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congradulate all for being in the same lift as you.
25. Grimace panifully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shup UP!"
26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then looks shocked and disgusted when others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.
35. When the door close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
8. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
9. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
10.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
11. Sing Along At The Opera.
12. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
13. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
14. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'
15. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
16. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
17 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.
FUNNY
I'm not so good at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic reply?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.
Parents spend the first years of our lives telling us to walk and talk, then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
If everything seems to be going well, you have OBVIOUSLY overlooked something.
One way to figure out how everything works: push all the buttons.
Paper may beat rock, but cannonball make big hole in paper.
Don't follow me; I'm lost, too.
It's always the last place you look for it...of course it is. Why would I keep looking for it after I've found it?
Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
i'm not afraid of death! what's it gonna do, kill me ?
a good friend will ring you bale money when you're in jail. A best friend will be right beside you saying, "We ******** uuuuuup."
i'm not stalking you--your house just happens to be everywhere i go
i break for ... OH s**t NO BREAKS!
heart attacks ... god's revenge for eating his animal friends.
ther are three kinds of peoples in this world. those who can count and those who can't.
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People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door
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Btw you have an awesome avatar~
I like your avatar, as well. (: