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Rantings for Gold
Art and life
a feeling
I've got a bad feeling. You know that feeling you get when you know something is about to happen that you're not gonna like.... I haven't been able to keep anything down in the past 2 days and it's not from a virus or anything. I'm worrying - for no reason. I don't worry. But I am - I'm worried about something that hasn't happened yet but that has the ability to potentially crush me. I can feel it creeping upon me and I'm worried about it.

Something.... is not right. I've been fighting it off for weeks but suddenly it's all come to a front. I'm.... scared. I'm scared that - I won't come back this time. That this is the final blow.

It is, isn't it? The final mile in my journey. There He is standing at the end of the tunnel and saying "Rest now." And i'm ready. It's not as bright as I hoped and it doesn't smell of flowers.... it smells of rotting flesh and has a red glow that flickers in the shadows. And those glowing red and yellow eyes behind the warm inviting blue one's - I knew they would be there. I knew it wouldn't be the heaven I longed for - but oddly enough - that's fine. I've prepared for this. This is what I deserve and I accept my fate. So don't cry for me. Please.





 
 
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