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Something Called Sorrow
When All You Can Do Is Dream And Die
I Give Up On This Selfish Humanity
So...
I hurt for absolutely no reason.
(Not talking about the sunburn, people.)
I just... give up.
There's absolutely no reason I should care about some freakin' celebrity who I'll never meet, and if I do, it'll be a handshake, an autograph, and then through the door, next person in line.
Do you see my point?
-sigh-
And then there are the people associated with the obsession.
The haters, the lovers, the crazy rabid fangirls, and the people who just want to be seen.
(My self included.)
But that won't happen.
I'm not good enough to be noticed by the real world.
Ten years from now, people will go back through their yearbooks and have no idea who the girl is who signed it and looks hideous in her photo.
No one will walk down the street, and come up to me saying, "Hey, you're Taylor Francis!"
No one will care.
The truth.
And, seeing as I'm nobody, there's no way I'll end up with the freakin' celebrity I'm talking about.
No way I'll meet him, or even see him in person.
And I'd probably react like everyone else, too.
The screaming for attention, the shoving, the crazed state of awe.
I don't want to be like that.
I want to be something more... but...
I'm me, no luck with that.
I don't want to blend in with the masses.
I want to be different...
The irony in this is I am different, just like everyone else.
Yes, I'll still google images of him.
I'll listen soley to his music.
His band.
Absorb random facts and quotes from his life.
Appreciate the rest of the band members.
But it's not going to make a dent in my life.
I'll die a nobody, too.
No one'll know, expect the people actually read the obituary.
And the only one I know who does that is my grandma.
Another twist of heart is age.
Why does every gorgeous guy in the world have to be at least twice my age?
Why? Why? Why?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
Yes, people say I'll meet an adorable emo guy at school and go obsess over him.
But I've given up on that.
Everyother one ended in... splat.
I can recall three... no, four times
Pre-K & Fourth Grade was one guy...
2nd was another.
6th was another.
7th was another.
8th was another.
And all I got was a broken heart.
And the realization that I better stick with celebrities, because they look better, and have amazing lives I can look up online, instead of bribe my friends to question random people.
So that's what I'll do.
And, I swear that if I end up falling for some nobody geek boy, I'll throw myself over a bridge.
Seriously.
I can't live with my disgusting self.
It's disgusting, and sunburnt.
There goes my gorgeous pale.
That was disgusting on me.
And I'm irish... and scottish... and italian... and russian german... and welsh.
Whee.
Well, let's thank my grandparents for the variety.

Y'know what's strange?
I'm supposed to be the pretty one.
How did that happen?
But I have noticed that there always is one gorgeous sibling.
(Take Criss Angel. Personally, he's the hottest. JD and Costa are freakeh.)
(I would use the Ways, but it might offend someone... -cough- But you're both gorgeous! biggrin DD Just... one of you appeals to me more than the other .__.;; )
(But you are both hot. xD)
I guess I am, compared to Morgue.
She has sharper features. And grey eyes. And the nice hair.
(Straight and blonde, but will one day be amazingly wavy and dark brown, courtesy of mother dearest.)
I have the rounder face. And blue eyes. And the strange brown wave mess.
(Apparently I look like my dad (in a good way)... so I guess that's his hair. -___-;; )






User Comments: [7] [add]
c h i c k i e
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commentCommented on: Fri Jul 13, 2007 @ 04:30pm
LOL, SWEETIE!!!!!! Dont give up on Gerard! He lives for his band, and for his FANS!!!! It is TOTALLY possible that you could meet him one day. Have you ever been to this site: http://www.mylivingromance.urli.net/ ? Go check it out &3 The truth is he lives a completely different life than people like us, and so yes, it is difficult to meet him, but sooo not impossible. And of course you probably aren't gong to marry him or anything, but you know, You don't even really know him. He might be an a*****e in real life (hard to imagine, but you never know).

Also, how old are you .. 14? You have a whole awesome life ahead of you. And you're not a nobody. Nobodys a nobody, unless they make themselves that way. I'm sure that made sense.. XD;;;

So be my crazy Gerard lover with me!!!!! Doesn't he and his band make you happy? Yes he ******** does. You just have to enjoy them for what they are, and be happy they are part of your life in that way. Hahah. & like I said don't get upset over past broken hearts, I've had my share too. If someone doesnt love you or hurts you, then they don't deserve you. They deserve no one D&. You'll find someone someday. You have all of highschool and college(WHOO!) to have fun and look for the right guy. So don't worry too much about it =)

<3-chickie

lol btw, i get burnt too.. really bad.. im so white... i cant tan, i just turn into a lobster XD;;


commentCommented on: Fri Jul 13, 2007 @ 05:32pm
I know he does. That just seems so like him. :3
Yeah, the whole marriage thing is out of sight, it's just some random wish.
(Like wanting a hug from Billie Joe. xD)
But I just don't... -laugh-
I don't know.
I can't just stop loving him. It's still there.
It ********' hurts though. biggrin DD
And I think it'll always be there.
I'll always be his 5' 4", blue-eyed fan-girl from Texas.
But there's always going to be that person that's better than me, who has the money, or the connections, or just plain old spunk that'll get there first, in that long line of adoration ahead of me.

And he doesn't seem the a*****e type. x3

The truth is, I don't want to love anybody else. xD
It sounds weird but... it's true.
I don't want to have to depend on someone who no one will... who isn't better than me.
I mean, it's bizarre, but it's true.
I want someone like that.
It brings a sense of...
I don't know.
Having his voice in my ear almost 24/7 does make me happy.
I can't stop smiling, and I keep singing.

Awesome life? Pfft.
I know I still have a life, but it's not anything special.
I love writing, but no one becomes someone by being and author.
I mean, look at J.K.Rowling! The only thing famous about her are her characters.
I mean, have you ever seen a picture of her?
Does she have crazy fansites?
Not really. More for Harry.
And seeing as I had the sudden urge to become an illustrator, the same applies here.
(I'm quoteing a message to Leighanna.)


Charred Beauty
Leighanna
Charred Beauty
I'm thinking of becoming an illustrator. C:
Mainly, going to the art school in New York, and rubbing my behind on every chair there. Maybe I'll pick up some Gee-Love.

Do you know how creepy that sounds?

Now that I look back, yes. biggrin DD

(I'm a pathetic excuse for a human, huh? ;3
Leigh thought I was high or something.
Which I wasn't. xD)

I know. I love them just because I can hear them.
Just because I have Gerard's voice in my head, and Bob and Ray and Mikey and Frankie jamming out behind him. :3
It's like their talking to me.
They're talking to everyone.

I have to admit, I myself am a selfish creature.
Deep down inside we all are.
Because I want more than a hug, a signed photo, a push out the door.
But I know I won't get that, and I have to accept what I get, when I get it, and who I am.

It's a bitter pill to take.

But I'm going to stand up ******** tall, and never show my back.
I'm going to take his ******** hand, and never be afraid again.

At least I get to dream about him. :3
I wake up happy now.




P.S. -- Yes, I probably did the whole sun burn thing to myself, seeing as I avoid any and all unnecessary sun exposure.
Yeah, this tan is going to be bummer. xD

P.S.S. -- I guess what I meant by the nobody thing is that...
I don't know.
The men and women who almost everyone in the US at least knows their names are considered the "somebodies".
They've done something with their life (even if it's usually for infamous reasons, like Nicole Richie and her wrong-way DWI) and are being recognized for it.
I guess most authors are something, too.
They have legions of fans following their every written word.
But most of them are not.
And you'll probably say, oh this is just another wacko who wants to be famous.
I really don't, but I want people to hear my name and it mean something.
Everytime I hear "Gerard Way", I think of a gorgeous guy who's helping people through his band.
I hear my name, and I think of... the girl who got 1000 AR points in 3rd and 5th grade?
... the girl who was Brighteyes in the 4th grade school play? (A very important one-liner. xD)

That's about it.
I'm also the girl that ate everything with chopsticks at Benihanas at a rapid pace during the NYC Trip. :3
That was fuuuun.

I mean... when people hear your name and it means something important to them... that's a somebody.
Like Mrs.McLean... she's the Algebra teacher that made Math fun, if not easier to pass. .___. (Barbie Bungee. xD)

But I can't help but feel the need to make my existence known to everybody. xD



Ukiyo no Yuusha
Community Member
c h i c k i e
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 14, 2007 @ 02:16am
Where and who was Gerard Way when he was your age? Or my age? Nowhere? Yep. Just an outcast kid living in the crime ridden city he lived in in NJ. But he had a dream, and he tried his best to accomplish it, and even though he didn't exactly make it as a cartoonist or illustrator (which now he actually is.. haa) he still made it as a musician. He wanted something for himself, and wanted to change other's lives for the better. His story, and the band's story, is so inspirational.

If you keep telling yourself that you are a nobody or that you wont get anywhere in your life, or won't be remembered after you die, thats exactly what will happen! It's your life, you know? You aren't handed anything (unless you're lucky), you have to take it. You have to make your life what you want it to be. And you can do it if you are persistent and (to quote Gerard,) "never take anyone's s**t".

hehe and I know, he totally isn't the a*****e type, my point is just, you don't really know anyone, unless you actually.. know them.. haha.

and you're not pathetic, i loved what you said! That's something I would do XD You're a true fan. Who loves and cares about him. Just like me! <3


commentCommented on: Sat Jul 14, 2007 @ 03:32am

I love you Chrissy. xD
Thanks.

I feel happy now. :3

Yeah... I read about him in High School, and what he went through, and I can't help but want to go hug him.
I mean, people are cruel.
And, though I may be slightly misguided as to my objective, I like to think I would've talked to him.
I would've tried to help him.
I mean, who wouldn't?

I mean, (no offence any person of the world), but sometimes I talk to people because I feel sorry for them. I mean, take "Ernie" for example.
He was pretty much the weirdest guy ever in our grade.
He gets annoying and never does his school work, but I'd say hi to him everyday.
Even if he did creep me out, and would never leave me alone after that.
But it made me feel as if I made his day better by talking to him and not going around and spouting bad things about him.
Yeah, sure, he was really kind of gross, but I still said Hi.
That's the point.





Ukiyo no Yuusha
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Brokedown Symphony
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 14, 2007 @ 03:40am
lol
hi
i agree wit
her.
biggrin DD
lol


commentCommented on: Sat Jul 14, 2007 @ 05:55pm
hehe i'm glad you feel better X3

thats nice you say hi to that guy. you're a good person =) even if he annoys you now, haha. I know exactly where you're coming from, I've done the same when I was in highschool, Go out of my way to be nice to someone whos quiet or a little weird. haha.

<3



c h i c k i e
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Ukiyo no Yuusha
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commentCommented on: Sun Jul 15, 2007 @ 06:36pm

biggrin DD Thanks.
He signed my siggy book (because I missed out on Yearbooks because I'm an idiot. x3) and said I was one of his best friends.
That made me happy I did all that.
But seriously, he'd chase me down the hall on his crutches.


User Comments: [7] [add]
 
 
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