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Today has to be one of those days in which I wish I was put away in a box and sent to some foreign country.
I'm rather angsty, or "emo" today. I don't know why...I just find everything to be completely mindless, stupid, and trivial. My feelings for people are welling up, boiling over and welling up again - all within hours. Even though I haven't seen one of them in a few weeks, I still feel the same way.
It feels like I am making a terrible mistake with my feelings. This time I want my friends to approve...no more disapproval. I don't know who I like more, let alone if they have any sort of feelings towards me. FRIENDSHIP even. That in itself would be wonderful. My mind is still hung up on this "mystery" person Jen is talking about. A large part of me is hoping its one of the people that I think is interesting, but with my luck its probably not one of them.
I can hope though.
I'm sick of all these stupid girlish feelings. The need to be held by someone that cares about you is too great. YOU don't NEED a boyfriend, you WANT one. I don't know if I want one...well, not right now at least.
I'm also a bit creeped out that people on myspace are telling me that I am gorgeous. I just want friends...not people trying to date me. And I don't want a bloody online relationship. I can't stand it.
I can't stand a lot of things.
I know my "Mr. Right" is out there. I just want to know how long it'll take for me to get to him. Maybe my he's not in my future, but in my past. I will never know.
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Community Member
What you seem to be missing is setting your priorities staight. Or else you'll stay lost in that hole of life.
Also, you need a definition of friends. There's Acquaintences and friends. A friend for me, is someone I can trust and stays loyal to my heart. Simple, right?
Next, your emotions. I can't help you there, I consider myself having none. Well, I have no sad feelings and I can illusion myself to seem happy. Child-abuse, not good. Believe me.
Anyways, you're concentrating too much about this mystery guy, don't worry about it. It'll come when it comes. Believe me, and this is not an example of destiny. Destiny is false, so I stated in my journal.
Also, you don't need a boyfriend, true. You need someone that will take care of you. Lack of love in your family and friends as well? Just a question, don't bother answering.
Gorgeous? On myspace.com? Why don't you just not show your pictures of yourself? Solves the problem. Maybe you're in self-denial. And you like it when they say that, because it replaces the lack of care and love you want, by attention and flattery.
Sorry, I was lost in one of my life issues. Ignore that. Though, it was an hypothesis as well.
Mr. right, everyone can be Mr. right. The question is, can you adapt to this person. Once you can, you can classify him as Mr. Right. Brings back to my theory of "destined together" there's no such thing. I have a theory about destiny and all. Though, I've written enough as it is, and I'm sure you are aggrivated by my comments of exageration.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me.