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I've come to the realization that I am perfectly happy with my life now. There might be some inconviences, but nothing too serious. My feelings for other people seem to be the most annoying. I guess I'm attracted to guys that make me laugh. Its on a non-physical level though. But sadly these feelings I hold make it hard for me to function at full capacity, but then again, when have I ever functioned at full capacity? I don't really see much to really be attracted to when I look at this person...but I'm intrigued. Perhaps its because he's so much different than Raymond. Though...I like his hair. Its softer than most. (Though little John's is the best, that it is) I'm glad I have friends that care about me. I'm going to miss them, I may be moving...but it is undecided. Sometime in October I am going to North Carolina for a few days, my dad is going to take the time to look at real estate. I, on the other hand want to go to Richmond Virginia and visit Mike... And sometime next year I am going to Germany. I really want to go, it'll be good for me. I need to expand my horizons. Plus, I'll probably get to go to Holland, France, and Italy. I'll beg on my KNEES to have my grandparents go to Italy. sigh For once...I'm perfectly content. I even stared at Raymond's picture and got nothing. I'm pulling through...I'm so glad. But that doesn't mean I'm cured for good. I'm...happy...but so confused.

Posted by: ShaIIow Wed May 11, 2005 @ 04:14am

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Silkworm
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Commented on: Wed May 11, 2005 @ 07:58am


	Germany?! My hips are from Deutschland! The motherload Take me with you. crying Ich möchte etwas Spargel, Salzbratkartoffeln, Bärenjäger, (Superbb) Honig... surprised deflates I'm sure we can arrange something? wink

Commented on: Wed May 11, 2005 @ 01:38pm


	Happy is better than nothing right? :3 I'm moving this summer to North Carolina as well. Who doesn't like someone who makes them momentarily happy?

Xeroxer
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ShaIIow
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Commented on: Wed May 11, 2005 @ 02:43pm


	Mine too. Instead of having to pay for a hostel, I get to stay with family. One of the reasons my dad really wants me to go. I've never met any of my family, just the ones that live in America. And thats enough to fill an SUV. XD ----- True. But momentary happiness is only a bandaid. It hurts when its ripped off suddenly. I guess that is what happened yesterday when I realized I cannot compete. But this person still makes me smile, regardless of how he feels for other people. I guess its a start of a good friendship, and I'm ok with it. I think so at least.

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