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I wish he'd feel better about himself. He called me today to tell me that he was with his mom and she didn't think he was crazy. He worries me though. He hates himself because of his past, and when I try to get into his head he blocks me from certain things. He doesn't until I start finding old memories and then he just sorta blocks me out. I wish there were some way I could get him to see that what he's done is in the past, and you can't change what's already done. You can only learn from it and try to salvage the only things left, and try to make it better. I told him about how a fried had said it was like love at first sight and somehow I brought up blind people and how would that leave them and he said he was blind and it just declined from there. I love him. I've know him for a week and a half and I love him more than I love anything else, and I know I'd give my life to save him, just like I would for Ali. *sighs* what am I gonna do?

I know that barely any people actually read these, so there's not much point in me private entrying these. There's just nothing... My head hurts when I try t think about it too much.

Well, my lyrics of recent are by A Perfect Cicle on their Mer De Noms CD...

you're such an inspiration for ways that i will never
ever choose to be.
oh so many ways for me to show you how your savior
has abandoned you.
********) your god.
he did this, took all you had and left you this way.
still you pray, never stray,
never taste of the fruit. never thought to question why.
it's not like you killed someone.
it's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side.
praise the one who left you broken down and
paralyzed.
he did it all for you.
oh so many ways for me to show you how your
dogma has abandoned you.
pray to your christ, to your god.
never taste of the fruit,
never stray, never break,
never choke on a lie,
even though he's the one who did this to you
thought to question why
it's not like you killed someone.
it's not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side.
talk to jesus christ as if he knows the reasons why he
did this all to you.
he did it all for you.