I am so danged depressed right now, I think I need to write it out since I really don't have anyone I can talk to about it.
Which is really sad that I will publish this on the web where hundred of people could read about it and don't want to tell my close friends or boyfriend. Go figure. The joys of being anonymous.
So anyway, I fell down the stairs today. Totally my fault...my leg had been bugging me so I was hopping on one leg, missed the step, and landed sideways on my ankle. Which is now swollen and hurts like hell. No kidding.
Luckily my boyfriend was there and caught me before I went all the way down the stairs. He dropped me off in a chair (this was my idea, not his...) so he could go to class and I propped my ankle up. The long and short of it has been that he has been absolutely wonderful to me all day, walking me to class and getting my stuff so I could work on homework and such. And the thing is, where I live, there are only stairs leading up to my room. And he has an elevator leading up to his. So he said I could spend the night with him. So he went and got a bunch of my stuff so I could just have everything I'd need for today and tomorrow so I could just stay with him.
Yes, we've slept together before, no, nothing sexual is going on. That's not the issue. There's nothing better than just curling up in his arms and knowing that the world is safe for one instant and that someone really and truly cares about you and how you feel. Which is how I feel in his arms. Protected. Safe. Loved.
Even if it is all unsaid.
Anyway, so I got my roomie to pack a bag of toiletries for me (shower stuff like shampoo and towel and toothbrush and the like) so I could just shower off in the morning. I've showered when I've had a sprained ankle before and I knew I was going to want one in the morning.
I don't know if that bag got to his roomie or what, but later this evening his roomie stopped in to ask if I really couldn't make it back to my room tonight because it was awkward for him when I slept over.
My boyfriend had checked with him to make sure it was okay and he had said it was "Alright". I had feeling awkward and like I've put someone out unintentionally. I'm stressed with everything that has been happening around me and then to go and sprain my ankle was the last thing I needed. I know feel stupid having brought this stuff to my boyfriend's place, because I feel like I was being presumptuous or something. But I wasn't, was I? I just feel so awful right now, like I was an a** or something.
And I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I shouldn't worry about it. I suppose. But I do. And I feel awful right now.
I'll update this later.
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Daine's Journal
A collection of stories, thoughts, wanderings, and a bunch of fictional writing.
A place to develop my characters or just think out loud...
You'll never know what may be true or not.
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