*sigh* Anoo...Im so...apathetic. Depressed even? Iiya, I wouldn't go that far..datte, I am feeling a bit under the weather, mentally speaking. I guess It's really because so much has been going on and I dont think I can handle any of it. Hai, that's it. It's because I dont think I handle it. The problems themselves are nothing but some inconveniences, however, my fear of them is what is making me feel this way.
For starters, I haven't talked to my friend Amber in weeks. In fact, I lost contact with her before school started. Datte, I dont blame her at all, because it could all be because she is busy, which she is. But I dont know what'd I do, knowing that something was seriously wrong. And the truth is, I dont know if something is seriously wrong or not. Ah, it's probably all in my head.
I've been having problems with my friends. We aren't fighting, no, we aren't doing that. It's just that...Mew is going to be on a lot less, and I miss her as much as it is. It's not like my other friends are, boring, but with Amber gone and Ami, Hannah, and Kako left then I dont have much to work with. It doesn't help that Destiny is my only friend on AIM that is ever online anymore. I mean, she's awesome and all, but I miss Skittles and Jasper as well. *sigh* Ami is being so apathetic -.- and when I do try to start a conversation all she does is ignore me or says something dry. What's the fun in that?
I think part of the reason Im feeling upset is because I can't watch Death Note. So far, Anime Fever is the only where that I know of where you can watch free anime, aside from Youtube. And Youtube doesn't even have all the episodes posted yet. I watched 1-11 today and now Im waiting for someone to post episode 12. *sigh* Yeah, I just really want to watch anime, since at school everyone has manga and crap and I've got nothing. So, until someone posts something, I'm left with nothing because I can't watch DN on AF unless I pay.
School is actually okay. Im a little mad, every now and then because Im not popular, guys dont like me (some do, but none that I like and none that are nice), I have friends, but they are so much...I dont know, I guess they aren't as laid back as me so I feel left out a lot. *sigh* I shouldn't complain, at least I have friends, right? There is always the case of wanting a boyfriend, because everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I dont. If not a bf/gf, then they have friends that they get close to, and I dont. It also doesn't help that the guy I like, and dont even know, has some type of girl friend.
Hmmm, let's see, what else is wrong? Well, Im scared for my art project because I dont think I'll do it right. All the art projects I have to do are not my style, but if I want to become better I guess I have to branch out. Im taking art foundations, after all. When I take drawing in a year or two I can focus on anime only, but for now....Oh, and I havent been able to draw anything in my free time because my muse is dead and I have no inspiration.
Hmmm, let's see, anything good happened recently?
<3 I was able to watch ten episodes of Death Note today
<3 School was fairly well
<3 Mew came on today
<3 It was dark and cloudy outside
<3 My neighbor hasn't been playing crappy music at night
<3 I have depressing songs on my iPod
<3 Light has Tamaki's voice
<3 There is some BL in Death Note
<3 Im not a fan of second rate manga
<3 Men exist
Ah, there are probably more but I guess I'll end this journal post for now. You could say I rant about my problems too much, but that's what a journal is for. Not like anyone reads mine anyways. Maybe I could try and do the "100 Themes Challenge" and draw depressing art to get rid of my unwanted feelings. =]
For starters, I haven't talked to my friend Amber in weeks. In fact, I lost contact with her before school started. Datte, I dont blame her at all, because it could all be because she is busy, which she is. But I dont know what'd I do, knowing that something was seriously wrong. And the truth is, I dont know if something is seriously wrong or not. Ah, it's probably all in my head.
I've been having problems with my friends. We aren't fighting, no, we aren't doing that. It's just that...Mew is going to be on a lot less, and I miss her as much as it is. It's not like my other friends are, boring, but with Amber gone and Ami, Hannah, and Kako left then I dont have much to work with. It doesn't help that Destiny is my only friend on AIM that is ever online anymore. I mean, she's awesome and all, but I miss Skittles and Jasper as well. *sigh* Ami is being so apathetic -.- and when I do try to start a conversation all she does is ignore me or says something dry. What's the fun in that?
I think part of the reason Im feeling upset is because I can't watch Death Note. So far, Anime Fever is the only where that I know of where you can watch free anime, aside from Youtube. And Youtube doesn't even have all the episodes posted yet. I watched 1-11 today and now Im waiting for someone to post episode 12. *sigh* Yeah, I just really want to watch anime, since at school everyone has manga and crap and I've got nothing. So, until someone posts something, I'm left with nothing because I can't watch DN on AF unless I pay.
School is actually okay. Im a little mad, every now and then because Im not popular, guys dont like me (some do, but none that I like and none that are nice), I have friends, but they are so much...I dont know, I guess they aren't as laid back as me so I feel left out a lot. *sigh* I shouldn't complain, at least I have friends, right? There is always the case of wanting a boyfriend, because everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, and I dont. If not a bf/gf, then they have friends that they get close to, and I dont. It also doesn't help that the guy I like, and dont even know, has some type of girl friend.
Hmmm, let's see, what else is wrong? Well, Im scared for my art project because I dont think I'll do it right. All the art projects I have to do are not my style, but if I want to become better I guess I have to branch out. Im taking art foundations, after all. When I take drawing in a year or two I can focus on anime only, but for now....Oh, and I havent been able to draw anything in my free time because my muse is dead and I have no inspiration.
Hmmm, let's see, anything good happened recently?
<3 I was able to watch ten episodes of Death Note today
<3 School was fairly well
<3 Mew came on today
<3 It was dark and cloudy outside
<3 My neighbor hasn't been playing crappy music at night
<3 I have depressing songs on my iPod
<3 Light has Tamaki's voice
<3 There is some BL in Death Note
<3 Im not a fan of second rate manga
<3 Men exist
Ah, there are probably more but I guess I'll end this journal post for now. You could say I rant about my problems too much, but that's what a journal is for. Not like anyone reads mine anyways. Maybe I could try and do the "100 Themes Challenge" and draw depressing art to get rid of my unwanted feelings. =]
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