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My Final Year...
It's amazing, really, how much we like to bend when it feels like it might forever be the end...
Say goodnight and go.

Skipping beats,
Blushing cheeks.
I am... struggling..
Daydreaming,
Bed scenes in... the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic... tremblings
You get me every time.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

Follow you home,
You've got your headphones on
And you're dancing
Got lucky;
Beautiful shot:
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains wide open
And you're following the same routine;
Flicking through the TV, relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone..

Oh, why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you,
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

One of these days,
You'll miss your train,
And come stay with me...
{It's always say goodnight and go}
We'll have drinks,
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you...
You'd sleep here,
I'd sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience...
We'd be good,
We'd be great together...

Go (sigh)
{Instrumental pause}

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you,
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

Why's it always always:
goodnight and go?
Oh, Darling not again,
Goodnight and... go...


Okay, for as much as those lyrics have a stalker sound to them, the chorus is so true. Because I don't understand why he has to be everything I want, everything that I find perfect in a guy.
Sense of humour that rivals my own.
An intellect that is helpful to my situation, and that is breathtaking in enormity when we debate.
A physical attractiveness that would set even the most stout of man-haters on her heels.
Eyes that I swear can see everything I am feeling and thinking.
And the smile that says it's okay that I think this way.
A smile that takes my breath away, that makes my heart pound, that makes me feel heat creep up in my neck. And I know he can see it, or feel it, or sense it in some way. Because he just has that look about him that he always knows.
But best of all is the way he hugs me. It is a full body hug, he touches every inch of me, squeezing me to him firmly but not crushing. He hugs like a god. Tonight, I was so distraught, so upset about everything that went wrong today. Rehearsal went well, and I was actually happy through the night.
But then it was time for me to go home and I all of a sudden felt every ounce of crushing weight of the day decend upon me with a vengeance. I held my head high, forced a smile, and shook Trevor's hand before heading out.
On my way there, who do I see but my heart, standing there in all of his well-dressed glory.
I said I was leaving.
He hugged me to him, and not for the first time I felt like I never wanted to leave his arms. He scratched my back in a comforting way, holding me tightly before leaning in to whisper in my ear, "It will be okay, I promise."
So I wept into his shoulder, feeling those impossible feelings that I've never experienced before. I'm afraid of being hurt again, but I can't help but feel that I belong with this man, this one man.
I've never felt such a connection with another human being before. And no one has ever been able to read me like a book, not like this one man has done so many times before.
I bade him goodbye, mentally forcing myself to let go of him, so that we could continue on with our lives as individuals.
But...
What happens when I no longer can exist without him?
When all that he does is in me, and I don't want to think of a day that he's not a part of?
Oh, I'm so tired, and since the beginning of school, I've been so emotionally and mentally beat up, and now physically.
I've never yearned for a man before. But now I find myself craving his touch, wishing, hoping, praying that he will not let go the next time he holds me.





 
 
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