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I don't get this world no more. Everything's changed. I don't want to ******** live no more. I can't stand this! My friends' are turning emo, my grandma just died. . .this world is messed up. I don't even know why I was born. Do I deserve to live in such a ******** messed up world? Maybe I was. I changed completely. I used to be such a goodie two shoes little girl. Now, I've become the opposite. I'm turning emo, I'm doing worse at school, I cuss more then usual, I'm not as kind as I used to be. I understand the world is not perfect, but the world is not even half of perfect. It's 0%. The opposite of perfect. Somehow, my world has turned into hell. Is it because of the friends I made? Because of my brother? My sister? My family? Is it because I moved? Is it because I have no freedom? I'm having less and less freedom and happiness, but does anyone know? No! No one knows anything about me! I keep to myself now! I'm always left out! No one cares about me! Why should I still live in this world?! Life has no meaning for me anymore. Was I not meant to die into heaven? If so, then why does my life seem like it's in hell? I just want to take a knife and...I don't want to turn emo. I want to go back to the way my life once was. Most of my friends were also goodie two shoes. We had fun and we cared for each other. No one was left out, no one was sad. But that was all in elementary school. Long ago. I keep asking myself why am I still living. I want to be an animal that has freedom. I want to be a thing that has no feeling. I also keep asking myself this: Why don't I dare cut myself? My friend does it. She's even used to it. I don't have anybody to talk to about personal things.