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This week's featured song according to me (listen to it sometime, it's good):

HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS LYRICS

"Ohio Is For Lovers"

Hey there,
I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.
Where you are and how you feel.
With these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)
Slow things down or speed them up.
Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)
How are you when I'm gone?

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.
[x2]

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.

My final breath is gone (So I can fall asleep tonight)

[Chorus:]
And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
[to fade]





I never realized that it just repeats itself a lot. And I've listened to it a good many times. But yeah, that was the song Maude and I were enjoying (which may not intirely be the correct word) on the way up to Seattle on Saturday, where prom was.

*shrugs* dunno if I'm gonna talk about stuff. I haven't recently for a few different reasons. I've been really busy. School, work, friends (which is turning into a pain, sometimes. Not that I don't love spending time with friends, but it's like I have to schedual it in, then schedual around it... too much planing.) And for the last... I don't remember... it's actually not the last few days, but like last week, I was being a real b***h. Just easily irritable and snappish and frustrated as all hell. Then last Monday I kind of had a break down, so it was a good thing that I wasn't in school, and I spent the whole day watching movies and sleeping. There has just been so much emotional crap flying around in my head, that doesn't even really relate, that it's really been a pain to deal with. Then you have days like today where I'm so damn tired that I just don't give about all of that and I'm kinda just moving. Like at work today I did really well, but that was because I was too tired to actually think and my body's on auto pilot. Which is okay now that I know most of what I'm doing.

So, yeah, not that you care or anything, but if you're going to talk to me around my period, don't do it the week before it starts. Not that you'd know when it starts, but if I'm being more of a b***h then I should be (because I can be a b***h normally) that might have something to do with the whole I'm-a-girl-and-once-every-five-weeks-it-sucks thing. And it started the day of the prom, which I didn't really care about, but I was panicking over other things because my mind was kinda being a jerk to me. I had this really bad dream about an absolutely horrible senior ball thing that I went to where everything went wrong and Maude ran off to do something with Austin and of course my hair was ruined and my dogs had jumped on my dress before I left, scratching it a little... and it sounds kind of silly, but it was one of those dreams where everything seems oddly real and you can't quite tell you're asleep, and I was just panicked. And I kept having flash backs of it all morning, until I went to Maude's house and things calmed down. She liked how my hair turned out, which reasured me, because it wasn't what I had wanted and I was worried it looked bad, even though I knew it was okay. It just wasn't what I had wanted. But since I didn't really know what I wanted I told the lady to do something and she did, but at first it vaugely reminded me of someone putting a bow you might use for a present on the back of my head. Which bothered me. Then, because I'm a perfectionist about certain things, little things started bugging me. Like I don't like it if the left and right sides don't match. They have to look the same unless they're supposed not to. And I had to have her fix that because they were lopsided... meh. Not important.

Prom actually went great. I took pictures, a lot, of all my friends, and I actually realized that I knew a lot of people, which made me feel good. Then Maude and I got out pictures done professionally, and we might end up in the collage thing that the picture place makes with a bunch of random pictures from the dance put together on a sheet of paper. It looks cool. And it would be awsome to be in it. And the place was so cool, there was so much to do, and the food tasted very good, which was important because I ended up not eating dinner because Maude's cousin's wedding (which she had to be at) got pushed back two hours so we couldn't stay for the reception where we were going to eat. But I actually wasn't very hungry, which helped. Then we had a hotel room to go to afterwards, because my mum didn't want us driving home. My older sister and her boyfriend were staying with us because we needed someone 18 or older and Maude had 8 days, me 11, until we were adults. They had this juggling compition on TV, and we ended up watching it until about 1:30a.m.

That wasn't smart on my part because I had to wake up at 8 so that we could get ready to go and leave to get home so that I could be at work by 10. I was schedualed for a 7 hour day, but they were short people and asked if anyone wanted to work a couple extra hours, and since I'd only been there for 2 and hadn't quite been hit by the "gee, aren't I tired now" feeling, I said sure. Ended up being there 9 hours and going home completely out of it. But Ian called right when I got home and I talked to him for awhile about some things that went on with him this weekend, mostly I think he needed someone to talk to about it, and I didn't mind. But we talked awhile, and it was later than I'd wanted it to be when I took my bath (my hair was still had crap in it because I hadn't had a chance to wash it since prom. Gagness.) Then to kinda zone out I through in a movie to go to bed with. Ended up staying awake past 1am again. That was fun. Went to school feeling tired. I feel more tired now. And dizzy. I think I'm getting sick, I've been dizzy all day. But work was okay. I actually don't mind working. And I'm glad I don't work tomorrow or Thursday, it gives me a chance to do school things, there's the water polo dinner night and the award's night. So even on my days off I have obligations to attend. Then I have to talk to my managers who schedualed me on Saturday, when I requested being off after 5p.m. because I have to be back up in Seattle for a japanese show Maude's mom has tickets for. She bought them a month ago. I had my name on the calender a month ago. I think. I'm pretty sure. I'll check. But they schedualed me to work on Prom, too. Which duh, it's prom. Can't work. rolleyes And they might do it again for graduation, which is two weekends from now. After that they can schedual me for every Saturday over summer break. Don't care. *feels somewhat glad her job's secure thanks to the fact that taco bell is short on good employees* Not that I'm a bad worker, or slack off or anything, but I kind of feel guilty for asking for so much time off. Even though it's only been a few days. It's just that these are important things to me. Like I'm going to seatle to see a kabuki show that hasn't been here in 15 years and is only playing for two nights. When am I going to get another chance like that?

Meh. my cat's been walking all over me for half an hour. She's cute like that. *pets neko* I'm suddenly more tired than I was a few seconds ago. I really want to go to bed but I have to wait to change the laundry around. Else I won't have clean clothes. Which would be bad. Except I do have a new pair of pants I could wear. Decided I was in need of retail therpy today and went over to Hot Topic to use the $75 worth of gift cards I got from friends over my party (which went well enough, I just don't want to talk about it.) I wanted to buy a tie. Because I think it would be cool. And then a guy shirt, but a certain kind. They had neither the tie nor the shirt I wanted. I know the Tacoma mall has the tie, though, so I'll have to swing by there sometime. Assumeing I'll buy it now. Which I may not because my gift cards are gone. Anyway, while there, I decided to look around, because I really wanted to buy something, and saw these very cute pants, which I really liked, and some okay shirts. I had them pull down three shirts for me (all fairy shirts, btw) and grabbed the pants (which were the size I think I am, which I am, and they were lose. Yay. Went down a size since the last time I was pants shopping. Don't ask me when that was.) The pants are great. I love them. Compfy and good looking all at once. And they're kind that dark camo green, but all green, which is a color I love. God I love earth tones. Not the point, though. All three of the shirts were just okay.

I should explain something here. When I shop at hot topic I mostly buy clothes, and then mostly shirts. Mostly because it's not the cheapest to shop there, and while they have many trinkets I might like I don't consider it worth my money to buy them. Like instead I could buy a shirt and then wear it and look cute. So I was hesitant to spend the gift cards. I also almost never buy pants there. Because they're prices are insane. Well, sometimes insane. Like the pants I got were $42. I normally won't spend more than $25. If that. But I had this realization when I was at the store. I love birthday preasents because they're the things you wouldn't buy yourself because it might be considered wasting your money, but you still really want them. For example, my dad's girlfriend Tammy got me this fairy clock last year that I love. I never would have bought it myself. I just don't need a clock, so no matter how good it looks why would I bother? But I still love it. And since this money was a birthday gift, why shouldn't I spend it on things I'd never buy? Those little things are what make birthday's so fun, and indeed even help make me happy. So I got the pants, these tinker bell magnets (I'm a tinker bell fan, sorry. Hell, I'm just a peter pan fan), a fairy journal with a very cool picture on it, and this awsome book on the zodiac, except it's like the darkside of the zodiac and instead of telling you about your sign like you're a cool good person it describes you like you're a b***h. Or the equivalent. And I was reading Gemini, because I am indeed a Gemini, and it was so funny how it said the same things as the others (I've read a few) but it just said it differently. I found it very amusing.

Oh, and it gives people b***h ratings. Which is only relavent because mine's an A++. Scorpio's an A+. I only checked a few other than those. Cancer was a B something, Leo a B+, I think I looked at Aqurious because Cheese is that... no, she's Pices. (Sp? Dunno.) I should look up Aries, that's Ian. I'm going to look it over later.

But anywho. Thanks Scott and David for my cool gifts. For the record: As much as I like money, actual gifts are better. ^_^ Again, I do like money. Not complaining. Just in general real gifts are more personal. And the only one who really gets away with the whole just money thing is my dad. But that's because we have an understanding with him. Though this year I think I'd like a sky diving trip. Twunder if he'd take me. eek I think we'll see. I wanted to go last year, but I was 18 and he was hesitant, unsure if the hanger folks would be comfortable with it. We'll see, won't we? Plus I'll have to find time. Gah, I'll work something out.

Did some trading at some point for some stuff. Gave up on my waiting game and just went ahead and played around with stuff for a bit. I'm not only missing the JU 03 shoes, which by the way jumped up dramitcally in price at some point, and a third chain wallet. And maybe a few paper bags. I have one that hasn't chosen a picture yet, but I kind of want to hang onto it. They're getting a bit spending too, though. I think they're up to 8k. I want the -.- and the razz . And if I have a few other faces than I can change my expresion ^_^. I also went out and bought different clothes for my mule, because I was tired of her not really wearing anything decent. Wasted like 9k on that. But it was fun, and now she looks decent. I like her new hair better. Didn't Gaia come out with some cool new hairstyles? I think so.

Anyone else notice that I didn't really talk about anything important? I just realized that. Skillfully avoiding important information without even paying attention to it. Huh.

I'm gonna check the laundry.

It says 27 people viewed this entry. That confuses me. 27 different people? I'm wondering if like every few days it resets and counts someone as a review or something like that. I keep meaning to use my mule to test it, but then I get lazy and don't. But yeah, why would 27 people choose to read this? 10 I could understand. I actually am friends with at least 10 people on Gaia. Well... *counts* 5-7, some with multiple acounts, and add another if you count Justin. Dunno if he'd be considered a friend anymore. Or if he reads this anymore. Either way wouldn't surprize me. I actually didn't check the laundry yet... *really does.*

Grr. It's a really big load and not quite dry. *glances at the clock.* I might be here until midnight. that sucks. But I'm not going to be a jerk and take all the laundry out of the drier before it's done. I've had people do that to me and then the next day I go to put jeans on and it's less than comfortable. But my head hurts... Gah.... *considres going to search for my "my cat is my best friend" shirt.* I didn't see it in my dirty clothes basket, but it would match my new pants, because it's black. I can't find my other cute shirt I'd want to wear and the others don't feel comfortable anymore.

There are clean clothes on the tabel, my mom did laundry today because she stayed home sick. Maybe it's in there. *sometimes loses clothes to the evil laundry room... which I should sweep and mop because the cat box is in there.* I also need to call the pizza place and the photo place and place orders, tomorrow, hopefully early ish. *makes note to look up numbers before going to school.* I also need to find the money I gave back to mom but she lost so that I can pay for pizza. Tomorrow's the chess club student staff challenge, and our last meeting. I should bring a camera. I think I will. I actually have one ready. Cool.

What else? *ponders.* I have the nori (seaweed) in my car for sushi tomorrow. bananachips for breakfast. I can wear better shoes for quals, there's a math test which means no homework but I should look over a couple notes. Nothing in gov, and then simple stuff in newspaper class. I could prolly just bring a purse again if I wanted to, but I need my math notes. *thinks* I could actually bring them to study during first then leave them in my newspaper classroom till 6th. That would work. *grins*

*snuggles up in a non-existant bed* cuddling is fun. Maude and I cuddle well together, which is amusing at times when there are guy friends of ours around because they give us funny looks, and we're just getting compfy. Funny looks are funny, hence the name. I really don't have anything to say right now. Just rambleing about random things because the not so random ones aren't fun to talk about. I need to hang out with Ian some time. He wasn't able to come to my B-day party so I haven't seen him in quite a bit of time. I work nighttime, which gets in the way. He's also trying to get a job, but he doesn't want to work fast food. I'm hoping he finds something he'd like. I should prolly call Maude at some point. I find that I end up hearing all sorts of gossip, just randomly, and this piece she'll be interested in.

It's amusing when all of your friends talk about the rest of your friends, or their significant others. I hear all sorts of things which I know first hand is utter crap, or completely true, because I happened to have been there. Or I just hear stuff about people that I used to know and I find it interesting. If it's anything particularily out of wak I don't put complete faith in it. Even my best friends have been mislead/misinformed/have misinturpreted things to make me not always have complete confidence in what they say. I wonder what people think of what I say, or who hears about it. Because I speak a bit openly at times, and often bluntly. I do hold by the rule that I don't say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't say to their face. With the exception of one of my managers who prolly wouldn't enjoy hearing that I think she's a snotty b***h who I'd rather not work with. She's gonna be the one I don't say bad things to because I like having a job. And then not afterwards because I like having references. I think I can check the laundry again.

yay! Done. ttyl all, I'm gonna go crash.
Aul