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Dear Hannah,


The girl I love with all my heart and want to bear my children. The girl I love more than there are stars in the sky. The girl that taught me how to love and since then I haven't stopped. The girl that knows how to make me happy in more ways then one. The girl that is more beautiful than Miss America or any of them. The girl that deserves better than what she gets. The girl I love more than any other in this world and am so insanely crazy about. The girl that I hurt. The girl that I called a name that she would never forget just because I wanted her to hurt like me. The girl I got jealous over for having to share with her own friends. The girl I never wanted to change or grow up. The girl that said she would love me forever. The girl I always took my anger out on and made cry.

To this day I love you with all of my heart. I can barely begin to describe how I feel. My heart beats faster with you, and I am always out of breath around. I worry about you so so much sometimes. I am depressed when you are, upset when you are and happy when you are. When your depressed I'm pacing around trying to think of ways to cheer you up. When your angry I want to solve your problem and when your happy, I rejoice to the high heavens. When it's your time of the month, I feel so helpless that is pains me. I once wished a long time ago that I could take on your pains each month for you. I really would if I could don't ever doubt that.

You always make me happy when I'm down, even when it's about you. I remember the night we stayed up till 4 am. Lord knows we both would have been in huge trouble, but it was one of the best nights of my life knowing a girl would stay up that late just talking with me. I remember the fun we had together, we use to take naps alongside each other, I'll never forget how each day you attempted to get closer. I remember how you loved the first Christmas present I made you, even though it was nothing to write home about. I remember how you once admitted to me that you loved when I tickled you. I also absolutely loved it when you would sing to me.

Each picture you sent me, made me so much more happy and still does to this day. You are so very pretty even if you won't admit it. I love everything about you, I can never forget your face with such vivid green eyes, cute ears and that long dark blond hair. You have such a prettyful voice too. Some nights I wish you could just be here to cuddle with, maybe sing me to sleep, nothing more, nothing less. I find your stomach the perfect place to lay on or tickle and now I know you hate it when I say this, but I find you feet cute too. I love everything about you.

I remember the fun times we had, and now I think you know what I mean. I'll never forget how you never forgot things and strived to make me happy. Not a lot of girls would do that, much less for me. But you did, the one and only. I'll never get rid of what you sent me either, or should I say we traded. I still to this day want to continue our last special day, it was just getting good and I've never stopped thinking about what I could do next.

Now on to the sad part. I was really horrible to you and well, I have no excuse. Sure you weren't the best back, but that doesn't matter. I constantly argued, but I have worked on solving that problem, and come up with my fox form, maybe it's because in some way it seems like I'm talking through someone even if it's just the third person. I got mad at you each time you went to your friends, it wasn't there fault or yours. It was mine, I just couldn't handle sharing you, that's how much I love you, but I've learned to be better about that.

You were only my second relationship, and well I know I was and am controlling. Perhaps it's because I'm a perfectionist. Either way I just wanted to be your first at everything, now I know that's just not possible. I do believe it's better not to tell me some things. Also I didn't want you to grow up, real evident of that was the ear piercings. I have forgiven you though, a long time ago now it seems, and honestly I wouldn't of minded if you kept them.

I can never say I'm sorry enough for what I called you though, I do believe it's the single worst mistake I've ever made, and that's apparent when you use it against me. I do hope some day you can forgive me. I know I brought it up again with the even with Ash, but I have forgiven that too, some things just happen I know. I just wanted to be your first. I hope some day I can be your first boy, but that looks like a distant dream right now. Your just so important to me, it's hard to explain.

I feel with you. That is the best way to describe my emotional attachment with you. Every time you leave distraught I attempt to beat up a wall. No it really doesn't solve anything either, at least till you come on next time. Sometimes I just want to runaway with you when some family matter bothers you. I badly want to hold you in my lap again and tell you that everything is going to be ok. I want to nibble on your cute ears and make you giggle again. I really, really care about you. I hope you know I've been working hard to be the best I can for ya because more than anything in this world I want you to love me again.


You're truly,
Love you always,
Jacob