My life...my life has fallen around me. My tears are still here. The blood grows stronger every day, the stench of it burning my nose so bad. The wine still tastes so good and the hatred is immense, taking me over. Everything is just...so worthless now. Orchestra no longer brings the beat in my heart alive. My guitar won't soothe me. The lyrics don't help, nothing. I see him every day, and still it does me no good, if anything it hurts. My life has turned against me and everything is not going in my favor. I just want my life back. I want a smile, and I want a friend thats here and will stay...for a long, long time. And right now I have that friend, you know who you are, I talk to you everyday and you mean so much to me. These...these fakes...they like to push me around, and then the authority refuses to do anything about it. I'm done. And I'm so tired of it. I'm ready to just explode with my anger and refusal to live anymore. It just beats me everyday and makes me throw up for no reason, with no cause. Its just like... I breath, but my body is a robot that never needs air anymore. My body is robotic and mechanical. It moves not by my free will, but by schedule. And without schedule, I'm no longer functioning. Then I sleep. I sleep and wish to sleep forever, but I always end up waking up. Why do I have to wake up? I don't want to go to school. I don't want to endure the pain of looking everything in the eye that makes me want to crawl in some unsheltered hole in the ground on a sleeting day and get frostbite and die. So bad. So bad. And don't tell me to suck it up. Don't tell me to get over it. I'm done with people trying to make me just get over things the instant that they happen and not even leaving me with a day to react and grief. I deserve that, don't I? Or do I, even? Do I deserve any of that in your minds? Because I'm done. I'm just so done and so tired of all of this s**t. I don't want it anymore. Just let me go to sleep and die. Its too hard, its too much. I don't want to ever wake up again. Ever. I can't do this anymore. I can't feel this anymore.
’Cause I can't feel my face
I won't struggle on
In a world so cold
In a world so wrong
I'm not running away, been fighting this so long
Such a price that we pay, we gotta be so strong
in a lie...
I'm tired, induced euphoria
to help me move along
I wanna meet my maker in peace, i want to feel alive again
So put that smile back on my face and mix it strong my friend
Should be on your shoulders...
