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--Waaa, and I finally update this journal using an entry from my Live Journal LOL. A bit weird, but meh, whatever. Just a poem I wrote right after Thanksgiving of all days how depressing.


Title: To Kill The Senses
Genre: Poetry/Depressing/Real Life
Rating: PG (Just slightly depressing...)

I tried to kill it all
Yesterday.
It was Thanksgving of all days
A day I was so intent
On spending with you.

But no-

I remember-
Last year it was you-
Answered the door,
Walked me in, sat at the table,
And you smiled, the kind of smile
You saved only for me.
But no-

This year it was your mother.
I ate alone with only your tabby to
Keep me company. You-
Were only a room away,
Engrossed in some video game
That I hadn't heard of before.
But no-

We sat in the cold by the wayside of the curb,
Silence nearly tearing me apart.
I tried to kill it all-

First the pain,
The tears,
The anger,
The want,
The love

To kill the senses-
Rid myself of what made me feel,
Release--
Under the obscurities of false truths,
I thought I could save myself and you.

But no-

You refused.

Holding a body that wanted to numb itself,
That would lend nothing,
Lips that had froze shut for a good thirty minutes
Were still ones you possessed.

You refused to let me go.

I hated you, hated my own weakness
You wouldn't let me go
Perhaps, no, not for the world
And perhaps that was a good thing.

I tried to kill it all
Yesterday.
But no-
You refused.
And I don't think
I'm so angry anymore