[they don't play gaia so, stfu.]
My grandpa was kind and gentle. He left behind so many memories for me... He used to plant a garden almost every year. It was actually small but it didn't matter, he loved gardening. I kind of took in gardening a bit after i saw his garden.. i still like to plant a bunch of crap in my back yard. in fact, i have my own area of ripped up grass. &3 hah.. /: i loved him so much and that funeral really hurt me.. especially it being my first one. Boating was also one of his hobbies. He was never bitter.. and he liked to joke around. He always had stories to share with me and i'll probably never forget them.
He put a lot of time and devotion into our family. He paid quite a lot of money just to create a family tree and he was so proud of it. If i could have one thing to remember him by, i think that'd be it.. Cause he never did get to finish it. In fact, i think if he just added my name to it, he'd be done. /: Pretty weird..
RIP;; my dearest pop-pop [12/13/07]
RIP;; Beloved DJ b. [1/4/08]
I also just lost a friend of mine, DJ. He was just an amazing guy and i can't explain what he's done for people. My town will never be the same without him. Nobody deserves this and especially a guy who made everyone smile. There was nothing bad you could say about him... Last time i spoke to DJ, i borrowed his scissors. [: lol. he was quite funny actually. he kept questioning me on what i was exactly going to do with them. but yea. i wasn't even the one who needed them. either way, he was overall, amazing. i deff. won't forget him. seriously. /: if i look back on this now, it's been almost two months... nobody's forgotten him, nobody wants to, and nobody should.. Seriously, for a 14 year old to have a bond with basically a 20 year old really makes you think. I don't know what was going through DJ's mind. He had epilepsy and was already taking medication to prevent seizures. These past few months have opened my eyes on how unpredictable and unfair life is. People who have being doing s**t like he's done for decades are still getting away with it and in all chance, he's the one who gets taken away from us ? Why couldn't have someone else had to suffer, someone who has commited serious crimes? A person equal to a murder, or better yet, someone who's roaming the streets just looking for victims. Why?
I don't know how, and i'm not sure why... But my recent experiences in life have been losing their color. Everyday i brace myself to come home and find out that something went wrong or somebody needs help. It's tough and i'm sure we all have to deal with it... I'd like to say i'm mature and all but I'm still just 14 years old and learning. I admit it. And it just so happens that my family is unfortunately aging with me. Except they're older by a lot and I'm counting on my past memories to build up our family relationships again. I'm losing contact with family members because my parents decide to get involved into other people's problems and they turn into fights. I haven't talked to my step sister for about 5 years and i actually have no clue where she is right now. Do I worry about her? Sure. But after i called her just to talk and wish her a good Thanksgiving, she didn't answer her phone, she didn't return my message, and she ignored me on AIM. And now I know that some people in our world just give up to easily. That's one of my problems, too. I fight to get things and i'm very opinionated... But i never did anything to my step sister. She took it out on the whole family even when my parents were the only ones to blame. Things have changed. I'm aware of that and I don't like. Nobody should enjoy changes but it's life and they deff. make it interesting. I may not be able to trust a lot people, but I can count on atleast few friends to help me through tough times. And just so everyone knows, I'm open to helping anyone when they need it. Even if I barely know you, all you have to do is talk to me and i'll listen. <3
[and i thought 2008 was a new start. /: ]
I love you
No one understands the pain you feel,
The sorrow you have seems too unreal.
You repeat it in your mind again and again,
But there's things we can't understand every now and then.
Just think of the joy you both share,
And I know right now, all you feel is dispair.
But close your eyes and imagine your past,
When you were together having a blast.
You were nice and you were good,
Don't get mad at yourself, you did all you could.
Don't get frustrated and hang your head in shame,
These things happen, there's no one here to blame.
So let me ask of one thing to do,
Think of those words, "I'll always love you."
And read the emotions that will come out,
Because right here, right now, you know he doesn't want you to pout.
When you look back, only smile at the glad,
And disappear those other thoughts, get rid of the bad.
Becuase he loves you and you love him,
Look back and thoink of those words..
"I love you, Kim."
