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Chapter 6: Transform!

McG: Weasly! Potter! Why are you late?
[Harry and Ron enters the room]
[audience applauds]
Ron: Sorry we’re late, Professor. We were getting ice cream.
Patrick Star: ICE CREAM!
Spongebob: Now, now, Patrick. Remember that one time when we got a hangover from eating too much ice cream?
Patrick: But Spongebob! That’s only in the movies.
Spongebob: I don’t care. We’re not eating ice cream.
Patrick: Fine… Hey, wanna get high?
Spongebob: Yeah! That’s how I get that high voice of mine!
Harry: You’re high right now.
Spongebob: I’m not high…
[Spongebob does his signature laugh of his]
Harry: Yep, you’re high.
McG: Thank you, Spongebob and Patrick. Please go back to your own fanfics. Or where ever the hell you two came from.
[Spongebob laughs again]
McG: Anyway, today we’ll learn how to transform into anime characters.
[POOF! McG transformed into the Major from GITS]
Ron: Eww… that looks kinda wrong.
[POOF! McG turns back to normal]
McG: Potter! You’re up first.
Harry: Why?
McG: Just. Do. It. You. Amateur.
Harry: Fine.
[POOF! Harry turns into Haigushi… that guy from Pitaten]
McG: What kind of transformation was that? He looks just like you!
[POOF! Harry turns back]
Harry: Well, I thought it’ll be convincing.
McG: Fine… Weasly! Your turn!
Ron: Super smexy transformation go!
[POOF! Ron turns into Yu-Gi-Oh]
McG: Ron! That’s Littlekuriboh’s idea! That’s fan copyright law! And next MasakoX’ll be after us!
Ron: tee hee…
McG: Granger. Your turn.
[Hermione does the Sailor Moon transformation]
Hermione: Moon… Prism… Power!
Ron: wow… Hermione naked…
[Hermione finishes with SM’s classic pose]
McG: Very good, Miss Granger! You don’t even look like yourself anymore! 10 points to Gryffindor!
Ron: I thought we stopped using that point system in like the fourth year.
McG: Yeah… I’m bringing it back. Malfoy, your turn.
Malfoy: This is for you, Harry!
[Malfoy transforms into one of those sex dolls]
Harry: Yeah, I think I’m straight.
Fangirls: Oooooh! I want to have your baby!
Harry: Uh, I have no sperm. >.> <.<
Fangirl #88: I don’t care! Just do me!
Fangirl #30: No, do me!
Fangirl #25: No! I’ll do you!
Harry: O.o uh… I can’t get it up.
Malfoy: I’ll help you get an erection Harry!
Harry: How can you? You’re still a sex doll.
Malfoy: Well, what form do you want me to be then?
Harry: How about a donut?
Malfoy: For you, Harry, I’ll be anything.
[Malfoy turns into a donut]
[Harry takes the donut Malfoy]
[Harry looks at the class]
[Harry goes to a dark corner with his back facing the class]
Ron: Yeah… everyone should look away!
Random student 107: Why should we? We know that you’re gonna watch.
Ron: Sh-shuddup!
[needless to say… Harry put Malfoy in and out of his… mouth. Harry was eating Malfoy! He wasn’t doing, uh, that!]
Malfoy: Wh-What are you doing to me Potter?!
Harry: It’s obvious isn’t it? I’m eating you.
[Gulp! Malfoy’s now inside Harry’s digestive system]
Students: Eww.
Crabbe: omg! You ate Malfoy!
Goyle: You b*****d!
[a glowing face appeared on Harry’s stomach]
Glowing face: I’m still here you retards.
C&G: Malfoy?!
Malfoy: Yeah… no s**t. Anyway, get me out of here!
McG: Sorry, Mr. Malfoy. There’s only one way out.
Malfoy: But I don’t wanna be a talking piece of poo!
Ron: Mr. Hanky?
Malfoy: Shuddup! Hey… why don’t you hit my face?
Ron: With pleasure!
[Ron hits Malfoy’s face, which happens to be at Harry’s stomach]
Harry: Ow! Ron!
Ron: Hey, that talking face told me to!
McG: Well, anyway, Malfoy, whatever you do, don’t transform yourself back to normal.
Malfoy: … [Malfoy transforms into himself while he’s still inside Harry]
[Malfoy grows to full size and Harry’s body somewhat expands to Malfoy’s body shape]
Harry: OWWWWWW! That hurts!
Malfoy: Now I’m officially inside my lover’s body. Hey.. I can give you an erection from the inside.
Harry: Professor, how do I get Malfoy out of me?
McG: Sorry, Potter, but you have to give birth to him.
Harry: What? How?
McG: Since you don’t have a vigina, he’ll have to be born from your a**.
Harry: What?
Malfoy: Yay! Not only Harry’s my lover, but also my father!
Students: Eww.
Nine months later…
Hermione: C’mon Harry! Breathe!
Harry: Just knock me unconscious and pull that thing out of me!
Ron: Don’t worry, Harry. We’re here for you!
Harry: Yeah, thanks.
McG: I’ve got it, Potter!
[POP!]
[Harry’s huge-a** pimple’s popped]
Students: Look at all that puss!
Hermione: Well, lemme close that pore for you.
Harry: Thanks, Hermione.
McG: Well, Potter? Are you ready to give birth?
Harry: Yes, ma’am!
McG: Ok. Bend over and sit on that toilet.
Harry: RAWR!
Narrator: So, after what seemed to be 3 months Harry gave birth to Draco. And I said “seemed to be 3 months” is because it was about 3 months between my lines and Harry “rawr”ing.
Harry: Yes, thank you for telling the readers that bit of useful information.
Narrator: You’re welcome.
[Draco comes out of Harry’s a** with a loud PLOP sound into the toilet]
McG: Ok, Harry. I want you to your hand in the toilet and pick up your dropping.
Harry: Um… can I at least wear gloves?
McG: No, Harry. You have to touch it with your bare hands so that your droppings can recognize your touch.
Harry: *sigh* Fine.
[Harry picks up Draco, Draco comes to life]
Draco: This touch… it’s like no others… HARRY IS MY ONE AND ONLY!
Harry: Keep telling yourself that.
Draco: And I will! The “Secret” will work!
Harry: You believe that book?
Draco: Well, yeah! Especially since that book included quotes from “psychologists” and examples like Einstein using the secret to develop the atomic bomb to destroy people!
Harry: Sure.
Draco: And it’s sure easy to read. ^_^
Harry: Anyway, I get to name you.
Draco: How about some suggestions? Like MiBitch, Horndawg, SlaveBoi, or Bill.
Harry: From this day forward, your name’s Florence.
Draco: It’s because I’m British, isn’t it?
McG: No copying LittleKuriboh!
Ron: It’s a ghost!
Hermione: Honestly, who HASN’T copied him yet?
Narrator: Anyway, so, Draco, I mean, Florence was out of Harry’s body and class is yet to end… soon.
McG: You there.
Narrator: Me?
McG: Yes, you. You’re not in this class.
Narrator: Yes, that’s true. I’m even not in a student at Hogwarts.
McG: Well, kindly get the *bleep* out of the castle.
Narrator: *puppy-dog eyes*
McG: Now!
Narrator: Fiine..
McG: Anyway, Malfoy, you failed today’s test. You were s’pose to become an anime character.
Malfoy: Well…
[Malfoy turns into Misha]
Ron: You just killed my favorite character!
Malfoy: Don’t worry, Harry! I’ll make you happy wappy! Su!
McG: Malfoy, if I pass you, will you stop killing good anime characters?
Malfoy: No deal.
[Turns into Chii]
Chii will make Harry very happy.
Harry: When will this end?
Hermione: Whenever the fanfic writer wants to.
Harry: Hey! Fanfic Writer! Finish this damn chapter!
[Transformers appeared]
Optimus P: Transform and roll out!
McG: hey! You don’t have permission to be here!
Optimus P: That’s why we’re rolling out.
McG: Oh, well, continue.
Ron: Well, that was kinda like a filler.
Hermione: Don’t complain, Ron! At least it isn’t a filler episode like in anime!
Harry: I think you doomed us all.
Ron: What does that mean?
Harry: I think that the Fanfic Writer will write a filler chapter.
Hermione: Don’t be ridiculous, Harry! That kind of stuff happens in ill-written stories!